Room Full of Referrals®10th Anniversarystring(40) "Room Full of Referrals®10th Anniversary"

January 5, 2023
, , Behavioral Styles, BNI, Referrals

My book, Room Full of Referrals, co-authored with Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dawn Lyons, recently celebrated its 10th anniversary. The Room Full of Referrals method applies DiSC® profiles to business networking by mapping Drive, Influence, Steadiness, and Compliance onto networking personalities.

Many professionals use referral marketing – personal recommendations through networking – to spread the word about their business. Yet when asked if they are getting all the referrals they want from their networking efforts, the answer is usually No. That’s because most people are unaware that their behavioral style is affecting their referability. 

Knowing and understanding your own behavior style helps you adapt to the context of the networking situation you are in. It also helps you recognize and understand the style of someone else so that you can network more effectively with them. A key point is that we are all a blend of each of the styles, with different intensity levels. In the book we’ve changed the names from the DiSC titles so they are more appropriate for people who are networking.

The Four Common Behavioral Styles

  • Go-Getter: Fast-paced, task-oriented, & doesn’t like to be wrong about anything.
                       Driven, Bold, Decisive, Strong Desire to Lead
  • Promoter: Fast-paced, people-oriented, gregarious, & likes to be in the spotlight.
                       Energetic, Outgoing, Fun-Loving, Positive, Talkative
  • Nurturer: Slower-paced, people-oriented, dislikes confrontation, & helps others.
                      Patient, Helpful, Understanding, Reserved
  • Examiner: Slower-paced, task-oriented, methodical, likes facts, & dislikes hype.
    Effective, Efficient, Thorough, Research-Oriented

 

 

Understanding the four different styles of behavior is an excellent way to gain knowledge about how to adjust your sales and marketing program to the style of communication most comfortable to the customer. It is also beneficial to determine how to best connect with your fellow networkers. All clients and all networkers prefer communication in a manner that is most familiar to them. Knowing their personal style  helps you customize a sales or networking approach for each unique individual.
My co-author Tony Alessandra calls this The Platinum Rule – the idea of treating people the way they want to be treated.

To be a successful networker, we must build strong relationships with our referral partners. When we build a relationship, we want it to have a strong foundation. The way we build the foundation changes when we have a better understanding of people and their personal behavioral style. As my co-author Dawn says, “If we’re going to teach people how to build referral partnerships, we better be teaching them about behavioral styles so that they can treat people accordingly within the relationship. Otherwise, relationships are going to keep fading out because people just aren’t being treated appropriately.”

As I reflect on ten years of Room Full of Referrals, I am proud of the reach it has had. This book has helped people with their business relationships and their referral relationships. It has also helped people in their personal relationships; the information can be applied across the span of your entire life. 

What about you? How has learning about networking behavioral styles helped you, either professionally or personally? I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 

 

Related Blogs and Podcasts:

Standing in the Middle of a Room Full of Referrals

Referrals are all around us. Are you paying attention?…

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Episode 454: Four Behavioral Styles to Know

When you attend networking functions, you’re potentially…

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buyer's

Understanding The Buyer’s Perspectivestring(39) "Understanding The Buyer’s Perspective"

March 4, 2021
, Behavioral Styles, Sales

Selling has everything to do with finding out the buyer’s needs, collecting compensation, and completing the transaction. However, there would not be salespeople if it was that simple. The buyer’s needs could easily be fulfilled by a vending machine.  In fact, many buyers shop online with only a vague sense of what might satisfy their needs.  Turning a buyer’s vagueness into clear solutions is the job of the salesperson.  The buyer is looking for the best solution, delivered in an effective and pleasurable manner. The search engine when shopping online cannot replace a well-trained salesperson.

Buyer’s thoughts are multifaceted

Buyers weigh the many pros and cons of a potential purchase when they shop.  Some of these thoughts the buyer might share with the seller.  Learning and adapting to the buyer’s various thoughts during the sales process is a complex and intricate task. It is the responsibility of the sales professional to ensure it happens.

The sales clock

Always look at both the buyer’s perspective as well as the seller’s demands with each sales scenario. Waiting out the sales clock after delivering your proposal can be stressful.  As the seller, you have to earn a commission, meet monthly targets, and ensure your proper work scheduling.  The last thing you want is for your own stress to create a negative impact on the buyer. Remember, it is all about the customer.

Three ways to tap into the buyer’s perspective

  1. Attentive Listening

Attentive listening can help you, the seller, determine if the buyer is putting you off or merely attending to pressing internal demands.

  1. Behavior Profiling

Modify your sales process to the style of communication most comfortable to the buyer.  All customers prefer to communicate in a manner that is most familiar to them. Knowing the buyer’s behavioral profile will help you to customize a sales approach for each customer.

  1. Product Presentation

Your sales presentation will have a strong influence on a successful sale. Talk about what the product will do for the customer rather than its features and keep the product presentation focused on the buyer’s needs.

Being able to read the buyer’s signals is crucial to meeting and exceeding the needs of your customers.  Masterful salespeople combine a little science with human relation strategies to create a wonderful buying experience for their buyers, while still maximizing their commission.  Most of the time, timing is everything.

Behavioral Styles

Knowing Behavioral Styles Will Win You Referralsstring(48) "Knowing Behavioral Styles Will Win You Referrals"

November 16, 2020
, , , Behavioral Style, Behavioral Styles 4

Many entrepreneurs rely on referral marketing, or the use of personal recommendations through networking, to spread the word about their business. When you’ve taken the time to build the right relationships, referral marketing can be a substantial part of your business. But when I ask entrepreneurs if they are getting all the referrals they want when networking, nearly every person says no. They all talk about wanting more referrals, but they have no plan for how to get them. Where to begin? Let’s start with knowing behavioral styles, a term that refers to what motivates you.

The Four Common Behavioral Styles:

  • Nurturer: Slower-paced, people-oriented, dislikes confrontation, and takes care of others.
  • Promoter: Fast-paced, people-oriented, gregarious, and likes to be in the spotlight.
  • Examiner: Slower-paced, task-oriented, methodical, relies on the facts, and dislikes hype.
  • Go-Getter: Fast-paced, task-oriented, driven, and hates being wrong about anything.

As an entrepreneur, you must understand your own behavioral style, learn how to quickly identify behavioral styles in others, and, most importantly, adapt your approach to those different styles.

For example, imagine you’re a florist at a networking function, and you meet a wedding planner. You’re enjoying your conversation and you feel that this could be a good connection, so you decide to set up a lunch meeting.

At lunch, they ask you a series of questions about your business. Your new contact wants to know how long you’ve been in business, what your company organization looks like, all your products and services as well as your pricing, not to mention a laundry list of technical questions.

For a Nurturer, this interrogation might seem off-putting in the context of a “get to know you better” meeting. But for an Examiner, this approach is completely natural. What seems comfortable to one person may seem either confrontational or rude to the other. While some people need as much information as they can get to move forward in a relationship, others like to ease in more gradually, taking their time to get to know you as a person before getting to know your business.

Warning signs

To be clear: neither person in this scenario is right or wrong. People behave in the way that’s most natural to them, but if you aren’t attuned to the behavioral style of the person you’re dealing with, both sides could walk away feeling awkward and exhausted. There are signs to watch out for that will clue you into what behavioral style you’ve got on your hands.

  • Nurturers have a relaxed disposition and tend to be warm and friendly. They are good team players but are risk-averse.
  • Promoters prefer to schmooze with clients over lunch rather than work on a proposal in the office. They are idea-people and dreamers who excel at getting others excited. They are risk-takers who are not inclined to do their homework or check out detailed information.
  • Examiners are generally in control of their emotions and maybe uncomfortable around people who are less self-contained. They tend to see the complex side of situations, but they also tend to have an off-the-wall sense of humor.
  • Go-Getters believe in expedience and are not afraid to bend the rules. They figure it is easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission. They may appear aloof because they are goal-focused.

Once you identify a person’s behavioral style, you can tailor yours to match. If you’re dealing with a Nurturer, be patient, and ask questions to get to know them as a person. However, if you have a Promoter on your hands, be excited about the news they have to share about themselves. If you are dealing with an Examiner, come prepared with facts and data and be willing to listen to the information they share. Finally, if you’re dealing with a Go-Getter, get to the point fast, be concise, and be gone.

The content of this blog is from the book, “Room Full of Referrals”. Your behavioral style is affecting your referability! Are you treating others the way that they want to be treated?

ROOM FULL OF REFERRALS® …”and how to network for them!”

By Dr. Tony Alessandra, Dr. Ivan Misner & Dawn Lyons

This book will create a new mindset in the business networking world. You are not walking into a room full of people when you go to networking events; you are walking into a Room Full of Referrals®. The real question is – do you know HOW to network for those referrals? “There is one major obstacle to overcome at networking functions – you!”

 

 

Desperate Networkers

4 Desperate Networkersstring(22) "4 Desperate Networkers"

November 15, 2018
, , , , , Behavioral Style, Behavioral Styles, desperate networker behaviors, Networking Tactics 10

Desperation is not referable. When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation. Here are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit:

Click here to watch this video

The Card Dealer

This is probably the most common form of desperation that I’ve seen over the years. The Card Dealer is a person that darts around the room passing out cards like they’re at a poker table. They don’t spend time really getting to know anyone (unless they think they can get something from them). To the Card Dealer, networking is mostly a numbers game. The more people they can pass their cards to – the better they’re doing (or so they think). Card Dealers tend to have a network that is a mile wide but an inch deep because they don’t spend time building relationships. It never works in the long-run and they just look inexperienced, frazzled, and yes – desperate.

The Space Violator

Here’s the guy that thinks the closer he gets when he’s talking to you, the more you’ll be interested in what he’s saying. Nope. Not true. In fact, it has the opposite effect (especially if his breath has the aroma of a smelly camel). So, what’s the right distance to stand from someone without getting into their personal space? The answer to this question varies based on the cultural standards of the country you are in. In North America, it’s fairly common to have conversations at roughly “arm’s length” for people that you meet at a networking event. From my experience that distance is definitely less in some countries around the world. What’s also interesting is the issue of gender and personal space or “proxemics.” According to a “Journal of Psychology” study, “male-male pairs tend to interact at greater personal distances, whereas female-female pairs tend to interact closer.”

The Premature Solicitor

This is the person who confuses networking with direct selling. They meet you and immediately go into sales mode. They want you to do business with them without asking questions about you, your business, your interests, or your needs first. To this person, everyone is a target and every target is a dollar sign. These people are the reason why many individuals don’t like to go to networking events. They go to meetings and feel slimmed by people soliciting them for business. They leave the meeting and run home to get a shower.

The New Best Friend

Follow-up with the people you meet at a networking event is important. But be a professional – not a stalker. The New Best Friend is the over-eager seller who after you meet at a networking event – calls you, emails you, social media messages you, and tries to become your New Best Friend in the space of just a few days. Generally, they’re not actually trying to help you – they simply want to sell something to you. Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind – it’s only to “help you,” but it’s never really about you. It’s about what they want from you. Desperation seeps from their pores. I’ve experienced this many times over my career. The one that stands out the most in my mind happened a couple years ago. I met a young man (late 20’s) at a networking event and he went right into “New Best Friend” mode – calling several times, emailing every day, messaging me on Facebook etc. But when he wrote me and said that he thought of himself like my son (yes, seriously – he said that) and he needed my help in his business venture – I had to pull the plug. I tried to pull it gently by talking about the importance of establishing credibility before pitching something and that the process of developing credibility takes time. Curiously, my “new son” abandoned me.

Desperation is not referable. Remember these behaviors when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate these behaviors yourself. Remember that networking is more about farming, than it is about hunting.

Four Behavior Styles

Four Behavior Styles (the video)string(32) "Four Behavior Styles (the video)"

March 22, 2018
, , , , Behavioral Styles, Characteristics, Classic Video, Garage to Global, Ivan Misner, Networking Tactics, Relationships, Video Blog 4

There are Four Behavior Styles you will find in others when you are networking. Do you know your behavioral style? Please watch this video to learn about these different styles.

In the book Room Full of Referrals which I co-wrote with Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dawn Lyons, we offer insight into the following four different behavioral styles:

Go-Getters: (Driven, Bold, Decisive, Strong Desire to Lead)

Promoters:   (Energetic, Outgoing, Fun-Loving, Positive, Talkative)

Nurturers:   (Patient, Helpful, Understanding, Sentimental, Reserved)

Examiners:   (Effective, Efficient, Thorough, Research-Oriented)

If you pay careful attention to the behavioral characteristics of others, you will improve how you communicate with them effectively by adapting to their style.

Desperate Networkers

Four Desperate Networkersstring(25) "Four Desperate Networkers"

January 18, 2018
, , , , , Behavioral Styles, desperate networker behaviors, Networking, Networking Tactics

Desperation is not referable. When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation. Here are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit:

Click here to watch this video

The Card Dealer

This is probably the most common form of desperation that I’ve seen over the years. The Card Dealer is a person that darts around the room passing out cards like they’re at a poker table. They don’t spend time really getting to know anyone (unless they think they can get something from them). To the Card Dealer, networking is mostly a numbers game. The more people they can pass their cards to – the better they’re doing (or so they think). Card Dealers tend to have a network that is a mile wide but an inch deep because they don’t spend time building relationships. It never works in the long-run and they just look inexperienced, frazzled, and yes – desperate.

The Space Violator

Here’s the guy that thinks the closer he gets when he’s talking to you, the more you’ll be interested in what he’s saying. Nope. Not true. In fact, it has the opposite effect (especially if his breath has the aroma of a smelly camel). So, what’s the right distance to stand from someone without getting into their personal space? The answer to this question varies based on the cultural standards of the country you are in. In North America, it’s fairly common to have conversations at roughly “arm’s length” for people that you meet at a networking event. From my experience that distance is definitely less in some countries around the world. What’s also interesting is the issue of gender and personal space or “proxemics.” According to a “Journal of Psychology” study, “male-male pairs tend to interact at greater personal distances, whereas female-female pairs tend to interact closer.”

The Premature Solicitor

This is the person who confuses networking with direct selling. They meet you and immediately go into sales mode. They want you to do business with them without asking questions about you, your business, your interests, or your needs first. To this person, everyone is a target and every target is a dollar sign. These people are the reason why many individuals don’t like to go to networking events. They go to meetings and feel slimmed by people soliciting them for business. They leave the meeting and run home to get a shower.

The New Best Friend

Follow-up with the people you meet at a networking event is important. But be a professional – not a stalker. The New Best Friend is the over-eager seller who after you meet at a networking event – calls you, emails you, social media messages you, and tries to become your New Best Friend in the space of just a few days. Generally, they’re not actually trying to help you – they simply want to sell something to you. Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind – it’s only to “help you,” but it’s never really about you. It’s about what they want from you. Desperation seeps from their pores. I’ve experienced this many times over my career. The one that stands out the most in my mind happened a couple years ago. I met a young man (late 20’s) at a networking event and he went right into “New Best Friend” mode – calling several times, emailing every day, messaging me on Facebook etc. But when he wrote me and said that he thought of himself like my son (yes, seriously – he said that) and he needed my help in his business venture – I had to pull the plug. I tried to pull it gently by talking about the importance of establishing credibility before pitching something and that the process of developing credibility takes time. Curiously, my “new son” abandoned me.

Desperation is not referable. Remember these behaviors when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate these behaviors yourself. Remember that networking is more about farming, than it is about hunting.

Voicemail Email Messages

Tips on How to Return Voicemail and Email Messagesstring(50) "Tips on How to Return Voicemail and Email Messages"

November 30, 2017
, , , , , Behavioral Styles, Conversation, Follow up, Guest Video, Tiffanie Kellog 1

Tiffanie Kellog and Jason Avery discuss how behavioral styles affect how we respond to voicemail and email messages.

So you received a message and you do not know exactly how to return it. Based on the book, Room Full Of Referrals, it depends on how people want to be treated, their behavioral style.

Behavioral styles are affecting your referability. When you receive a voicemail or email message, pay attention to the length and pace of that message.  Was the message long, detailed and full of information, or was it short and to the point? Know how to respond based on the behavioral style of the person who SENT the message. There are little clues in their message to identify what is the behavioral style of the person you are communicating with.

Go-Getter

“Hey it’s Tiffanie, call me”. The person leaves a short message that is very direct and to the point or only a few sentences. They are a fast-paced busy-busy person without a whole lot of time and they expect the same from you. When you call them or reply to their email, start with “I am sure you are very busy, I only need a moment of your time. Here is what I got for you”. Get straight to the point with the relevant information listed in bullet points.

Promoter

The message is upbeat and enthusiastic. The person is talking about having a good time. They are the “Fun Loving” people. They use in their message ALL CAPS, emojis and lots of exclamation points !!!!!! When you call them or reply to their email, use words such as  “Super, Great, Fantastic, or Awesome”.

Examiner

The Message is very detailed with page numbers, questions and full of details. They want all the information. If they give you a long list, do not reply with just one or two short sentences. They might become offended and question your credibility. When you call them or reply to their email, start with “I am tied up at the moment but I will get to all these questions and I will respond by this date with all the information you requested”. Be specific.

Nurturer

The message has indecisiveness. They need more options to compare before making a decision or they want to consult with someone else first. When you call them or reply to their email, start with “Here is what you need to know about the impact on their business, family or community”.

Once you know their style, you can adapt. Mirroring is a good way to start. You behave the way that they are behaving and they will appreciate you. Another option is to have four different employees representing each of these four behavioral styles to reply to the various messages based on the sender’s behavioral style. 

Desperation

Desperation is Not Referablestring(28) "Desperation is Not Referable"

August 21, 2017
, , , , , Behavioral Style, Behavioral Styles, desperate networker behaviors, Networking, Networking Tactics

When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation. There are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit. Please check out these links below that describe each of these four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit:

There are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit.

Click on these links to find out more about each:

Are You a Desperate Networker?

Remember these behaviors when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate any of these behaviors yourself.  Remember that networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. Generally, these people are not actually trying to help you — they simply want to sell something to you. Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind it’s only to “help you,” but it’s never really about you. It’s about what they want from you. Desperation seeps from their pores.

Photo Attribution

Four Behavior Styles

The Four Behavioral Styles (the video)string(38) "The Four Behavioral Styles (the video)"

March 16, 2017
, , , , , , , , , Behavioral Styles, Characteristics, Ivan Misner, Networking Tactics, Relationships, Video Blog 4

There are Four Behavioral Styles you will find in others when you are networking. Do you know your behavioral style? Please watch this video to learn about these different styles.

In the book Room Full of Referrals which I co-wrote with Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dawn Lyons, we offer insight into the following four different behavioral styles:

Go-Getters: (Driven, Bold, Decisive, Strong Desire to Lead)

Promoters:   (Energetic, Outgoing, Fun-Loving, Positive, Talkative)

Nurturers:   (Patient, Helpful, Understanding, Sentimental, Reserved)

Examiners:   (Effective, Efficient, Thorough, Research-Oriented)

If you pay careful attention to the behavioral characteristics of others, you will improve how you communicate with them effectively by adapting to their style.

Behavioral Profiles

Understanding Behavioral Profilesstring(33) "Understanding Behavioral Profiles"

March 10, 2017
, , , , , , , , , Behavioral Styles, Book, Networking, Networking Tactics, Referrals, Relationships

I’m looking forward to presenting “Behavioral Styles in Networking” next week on Tuesday, March 14, 2017 from Noon to 1pm EASTERN DAYLIGHT TIME as part of @BNI – The World’s Leading Referral Organization’s #BusinessBuilders webinar series.

Register here:

https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/8829787935322540548

Understanding behavioral profiles is essentially about understanding the four different styles of behavior when looking at individuals.  It  is an excellent way to gain knowledge about how to craft your sales and reporting program to the style of communication most comfortable to the client as well as how to best connect with your fellow networkers.  All customers and all networkers like to be communicated with in a manner that is most familiar to them, and knowing their personality profiles/behavioral styles helps you customize a sales or networking approach for each unique individual.

RFORBlog

In the book Room Full of Referrals which I co-wrote with Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dawn Lyons, we offer insight into the following four different behavioral styles:

Go-Getters: (Driven, Bold, Decisive, Strong Desire to Lead)

Promoters:   (Energetic, Outgoing, Fun-Loving, Positive, Talkative)

Nurturers:   (Patient, Helpful, Understanding, Sentimental, Reserved)

Examiners:   (Effective, Efficient, Thorough, Research-Oriented)

If you pay careful attention to the behavioral characteristics of others, you will improve how you communicate with them effectively by adapting to their style.

Join me on my webinar next week to learn more about these traits.

 

Why You Shouldn’t Always Follow the Golden Rulestring(49) "Why You Shouldn’t Always Follow the Golden Rule"

February 11, 2016
, , Behavioral Styles, Building Relationships

ID-10040850What I’m about to tell you will seem counter-intuitive at first, but bear with me.

The Golden Rule is not the best way to ensure success in referral marketing. For those unfamiliar with this philosophy, it is commonly known as “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” While it is a good principle to live by, a great one even, this doesn’t help you in networking or referral marketing.

Instead, you should consider implementing the Platinum Rule in your networking efforts. This, put simply, is treating others the way they would like to be treated. Referral marketing is closely linked with relationships, and what better way to develop a relationship than adjusting how you treat someone to their wants and needs?

There are three people involved in a referral: You, the referral source, and the prospective referral. All three of these people come into play when you consider how to implement the Platinum Rule.

You. How do you work best? What are your strengths and weaknesses?

The referral source. How does the person communicate best, or like to be communicated with? How do they like to be treated? If you expect someone to pass a referral to you, you must communicate with them in a way that they appreciate and in a way that works well for them.

The prospect. How does the prospect like to be communicated with? What sales tactics work on the prospect? If you expect to close on the referral passed to you, you must be willing and able to communicate effectively with the prospect.

In the end, a networker’s greatest asset is their ability to be adaptable. You must always be willing to accommodate the people you are striving to develop relationships with – your comfort is not nearly as important as theirs.

What is an example of the Platinum Rule at work in your relationships? Let me know in the comments below.

So You Want to Network Up?string(26) "So You Want to Network Up?"

January 14, 2016
, , , Behavioral Styles, Blogs, Building Relationships, Credibility, Public Speaking 1

Earlier this week, I appeared on Copy Chief with Kevin Rogers as a special guest to talk all about referral marketing. If you missed it, you can check out the whole podcast here, but today I would like to specifically elaborate on one segment from the podcast.

tam-48-ivan-misner-copy-chief

Around the 20-minute mark, I tell a story about a man named Mark who invested a lot of time and energy to develop our relationship. By the time he turned around and asked me for a favor, a least a year after we had met and begun our relationship, I was so appreciative of everything he had done for me that I was willing to do whatever favor he asked for.

You need to be interested, not interesting. People don’t want you to sell to them, they want you to be interested in investing in them. If you’re networking up, or trying to network with someone very successful, you need to find a way to stand out. You need to make that powerful person want to help you, by expecting nothing in return.

So how do you do that? It isn’t one of those things that you can just do overnight, or wake up one day and decide you’re going to develop a relationship with someone.

First and foremost, you have to have an idea. A great idea. An idea that you can implement and it will positively impact the person you hope to build a relationship with. Something helpful, something that that person cannot do themselves. This idea should set you apart, and should be unique to both you, and to your future contact.

Once you have developed your idea – and I mean fully developed; you can’t go to someone with a half-baked plan in your head – you need to reach out to the person that your idea benefits. Handwritten notes can make you stand apart. Emails and social media messages can work, but often will not help you stand apart, and depending on the person they may not be managing their own accounts. A well thought out handwritten note may be your best bet.

From there, your strategy relies strongly on your idea and the person you are working to help. To hear me discuss some other related topics, check out the podcast with Kevin Rogers on Copy Chief here.

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