What Kind of Man Do I Want to Be?string(33) "What Kind of Man Do I Want to Be?"

April 10, 2023
, Accountability, BNI, Networking, Recognition

I was recently talking to a good friend and fellow member of the Transformational Leadership Council, Bettie Spruill.  We were talking about relationships and she asked me “what kind of man do I want to be?”  I thought that was a great question and I decided to write this blog on that topic.

I want to be a man who lives his values and treats others accordingly.  Living my values is an important aspect of having a fulfilled and meaningful life. For me, my values are fundamental to my identity.  They shape my beliefs, priorities, and behaviors. I want to be a man who lives his values and I strive to embody those values in all aspects of my life. My values include Givers Gain, a positive attitude, recognition, accountability, traditions, innovation, building relationships, and lifelong learning. I’ve incorporated all of these into my company, BNI.

The philosophy of Givers Gain is a value that I hold dearly. I believe that when we give to others, we ultimately receive more in return. This value is particularly relevant in my professional life, where networking and building relationships are essential for success. By giving to others, whether it is time, resources, or knowledge, I can build stronger connections and foster a sense of reciprocity.

Maintaining a positive attitude is another critical value for me. I believe that a positive outlook can have a profound impact on our overall well-being and our interactions with others. By maintaining a positive attitude, I can approach challenges with a sense of optimism and resilience, and inspire others to do the same. Additionally, a positive attitude can create a more welcoming and inclusive environment, where everyone feels valued and supported.

Recognition is a value that is important to me, both in my personal and professional life. I believe that acknowledging the efforts and achievements of others is essential for building strong relationships and fostering a sense of appreciation. By recognizing the contributions of others, we can build a culture of gratitude and respect, where everyone feels seen and valued. Recognition also aligns with my belief in the importance of building strong relationships, as it helps to create a sense of trust and mutual respect.

Accountability is another critical value for me. I believe that taking ownership of our actions and decisions is essential for personal growth and development. The older I get the less I believe in words and the more I believe in behaviors.  By holding ourselves accountable, we can learn from our mistakes and make meaningful changes that benefit ourselves and others.

Traditions are a value that is important to me, particularly in my personal life. I believe that honoring our cultural and organizational traditions can provide connection and belonging and help us to maintain a sense of identity and purpose. Additionally, traditions can help to create a sense of continuity and stability, particularly during times of change or uncertainty.

Innovation is a value that is important to me, particularly in my professional life. I believe that embracing new ideas and approaches can lead to more creative and effective solutions to complex problems. Innovation brings excitement and motivation, as we explore new possibilities and push beyond our boundaries.

Building relationships is a value that is essential for me, both personally and professionally. I believe that cultivating strong connections with others is essential for personal and professional growth and can provide a sense of support and community. By building relationships, we can learn from others, share knowledge and resources, and gain a sense of belonging.

Lifelong learning is a value that is fundamental to my identity. I believe that learning is a lifelong process, and that we can always strive to become better versions of ourselves. By embracing a growth mindset, we can approach challenges with an attitude of curiosity and openness, and use each experience as an opportunity for learning and development. Additionally, lifelong learning aligns with my values of accountability and innovation, as it involves being open to feedback and exploring new ideas and approaches.

Living our values is essential for leading a fulfilling and meaningful life. My values of Givers Gain, positive attitude, recognition, accountability, traditions, innovation, building relationships, and lifelong learning are fundamental to who I am, and they guide my behavior in all aspects of my life.

By striving to live my values and treating others accordingly, I hope to inspire other people to do the same and create a positive impact on the world around me. I believe that when we align our values with our actions, we can create a life of purpose, fulfillment, and joy. It is my goal to continue to live my values and always strive to be the best version of myself so I can positively impact those around me.

That is the kind of man I want to be.

 

 

 

Related Blog Posts:

What Are Your Values?

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Buck Up Blog

Buck Up Buttercupstring(17) "Buck Up Buttercup"

August 30, 2021
, Building Relationships, Online Networking 3

For many of us, a great amount of our business life and personal life is taking place on video calls. There are tremendous benefits to these video interactions, and there are certainly some challenges, too.

Why Does Everything Have to be a Video Call?

Video calls aren’t quick or easy, they require planning. We’re not just going to talk to someone, we’re going to be looking at them, and they will be looking at us. There is the time needed for personal primping to look our best. There is time needed for tidying up our background, and we need to do background noise abatement before a planned call. We have to do our tech test and check our equipment prior to the call to ensure we have a quality video connection.

A voice-only phone call involves very little preparation for our personal appearance, and our office or house doesn’t have to be meticulously cleaned to talk with someone on the phone. And remember, we DID conduct business – quite successfully – by regular phone calls for years!

Is It Okay to Just Say NO to a Video Call?

Of course it is. Simply say… “Let’s do this by phone please.” When stated professionally and respectfully, most people respond to that statement with “Sure, a phone call is fine.” 

During the workday, I sit at my desk for hours. Sometimes I prefer to walk around and talk. I use a headset while stretching my legs during the phone call. It is a comfortable way to have a productive conversation.

Some people worry that others will automatically assume that the reason they don’t want to be on video is because they don’t like how they look. Personally, I don’t generally care what other people think about unimportant things. If it troubles someone, I suggest using the “I need to walk around” reason. 

Are Some Types of Calls Better on Video?

Absolutely! Meeting with a new client is definitely a good time to use a video call. Having that eye contact and seeing a smiling face helps to build the business relationship right from the start.

Having a video call with someone you haven’t seen in a while is also a good idea.

If you are doing a presentation for a prospective customer, a video call can be a very effective way to meet with their entire team of decision makers.

Video Call Etiquette

Most of the business etiquette for in-person meetings applies to video meetings. You can build and maintain your professional credibility by using these suggestions. 

  • Be on time – which means you need to arrive five minutes early. Because everything on a video call is highly visible, even arriving a few minutes late will be noticed. If you are unavoidably going to be late, contact the person who is leading the meeting by text, phone and/or email.
  • Know the status of your microphone – always know when you are muted or unmuted. Costly mistakes happen when others hear something they shouldn’t because you think you’re on mute when you are openly broadcasting.
  • Stay focused. Put your multi-tasking urges aside for the duration of the call. Others can tell if you are checking your phone, typing, or talking to someone else who is in the room with you.
  • Make eye contact by looking directly at your camera more than you are looking at the video feed of yourself and others. 
  • Don’t interrupt when someone is speaking. By waiting 1-2 seconds after they have finished talking, you can avoid “double speak”, which is when attendees speak over one another, and no one is heard.
  • And for goodness’ sake – wear pants!!! You need to be fully dressed for ANY video call. I haven’t seen the pants thing yet, but I did have a woman who bent over directly in front of the camera and left nothing to the imagination.

 “Zoom fatigue” may be a real thing but I ask you to think of the alternative. What if Covid happened in 1991 instead of 2021?  Virtually everyone would be out of business!  There wouldn’t be video-call-fatigue, there would be bankruptcy.
Zoom fatigue – you kind of need to get over that.  I mean, Buck up Buttercup.

We need to FOCUS ON THE BENEFITS of today’s available technology that provide the opportunity to not only survive, but to thrive.

building deep referral relationships

Get More Out of Networking by Building Deep Referral Relationshipsstring(66) "Get More Out of Networking by Building Deep Referral Relationships"

February 11, 2021
, , Building Relationships, Referrals, Social Capital 5

To become successful at networking, you need to be building deep referral relationships. Many people rely on referrals from others as a primary source of business. However, not everyone who relies on referrals is successful.

Many people have surface-level referral relationships.  They know just enough about a referral source’s business to get by. They probably could not tell you anything else about the business than you can read on their business card. They have not built enough social capital with their referral relationships to count on them when they need something.

Building deep referral relationships is almost completely dependent upon the social capital you have built with someone. Social capital is like financial capital. To amass financial capital, you have to invest and grow your assets. You have to have money in the bank before you can make a withdrawal.

Building Social Capital Is the Groundwork for Future Payoff

In this video, I discuss why Building Social Capital is one of the best investments you can make to secure future success for yourself and others with whom you network.

 

Do you have a personal story about social capital similar to the one I shared in this video about Alex? Please share your story in the comments below about how you have built great social capital with someone who is now just itching to help you in any way they can.

Are You Building Deep Referral Relationships?

Before you ask for a referral, make sure you have built a deep referral relationship first by knowing the following points about that person:

  • You believe they are an expert at what they do.
  • You trust them to do a great job and take great care of your referred prospects.
  • You have known each other for at least one year.
  • You understand at least three major products or services within their business and feel comfortable explaining them to others.
  • You know the names of their family members and have met them personally.
  • You have both asked each other how you can help grow your respective businesses.
  • You know at least five of their goals for the year, including personal and business goals.
  • You could call them at 9 p.m. if you needed anything.
  • You would not feel awkward asking them for help with either a personal or business challenge.
  • You enjoy the time you spend together.
  • You have regular appointments scheduled, both business and personal.
  • You enjoy seeing them achieve further success.
  • They are “top of mind” regularly.
  • You have open, honest talks about how you can help each other further.

Referral Relationships Reality Review:

  1. What conclusions do you have about the depth of your current referral relationships?
  2. Are your relationships more or less in line with these points?
  3. What points can you improve upon to deepen your relationships?

Over the years, people have asked me to promote something for them.  It happens to me almost daily on LinkedIn. Now, I don’t want to pick on LinkedIn.  It can happen on any social media platform. The majority of those who contact me have never actually met me or had a previous conversation with me. They never invested in the relationship, yet they wanted a withdrawal from it. Please stop and do not pitch to me (or anyone) on LinkedIn.

You may be shocked at the level of personal knowledge required for building deep referral relationships. I completely disagree if you believe that referrals should be all about business. Referrals are personal. It takes a lot to develop this type of relationship. When you give a referral, you give a little of your reputation away. You need to know the person that is going to affect your reputation but those who do will certainly succeed at building a business from referrals.

Who's In Your Room

Who’s in Your Room?string(25) "Who’s in Your Room?"

October 18, 2018
, , , , Author, Book, Building Relationships, Self Development, Video Blog 9

I’m really excited about the upcoming release of my latest book, “Who’s in Your Room?” in December. It is my 23rd book and I believe it will have the biggest impact on people’s lives than any other book I’ve done. This is the public version of the book and is vastly different than the BNI version.

What if you had to live your life in one room?  Whoever you want to interact with in life is in that room.  There is only one door.  It is a one-way door.  Whoever is in your room, stays in your room forever.  Whoever comes into your room impacts your life directly in many ways.  If you knew that this person would be in your room forever, would you have let that person in your room?

We design the room we live in, along with the people who are in it.  We can do that consciously, or we can do that by happenchance.  The choice is ours.  Understanding this idea now, who are we going to let in our room from this point on?

What do you think about the concept of “Who’s in Your Room?”  Knowing this concept now – what would you do differently in the future?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

To preorder the book, please use this link:

https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom

Ask a Favor

When to Ask a Favor (classic video)string(35) "When to Ask a Favor (classic video)"

March 1, 2018
, , Building Relationships, Classic Video, Emotional Intelligence, Entrepreneur, Garage to Global, Ivan Misner, Referrals, Relationships, Social Capital

When is the right time to ask a favor? Building a relationship takes time, and cashing in your relationship capital before it has earned enough interest can be devastating.

The following video is classic rebroadcast of my “Ivanism” Garage to Global series, hosted by Entrepreneur.com, where I expand on catch phrases I have used frequently over the years. Originally published on March 30, 2016.

In this video, I discuss how to identify and prepare for the appropriate time to ask for a favor within the context of a business relationship. Social capital is a key factor when it comes to asking for favors from others.

Most of us have been in a situation where someone has asked for a favor before the social capital to make that kind of request. If you want to amass financial capital, you have to invest and grow your assets. Social capital works the same way. You have to invest before you can withdraw.

Throughout my career, I have had a huge number of folks come to me and ask me to promote something for them. The thing is the majority of those who contacted me had never even met me, had never had a conversation with me. If they did, they met me once and we had the briefest of conversations. They never invested in the relationship and yet they wanted a withdrawal from the relationship.

You may be shocked at the level of personal knowledge required for a deep referral relationship. You may want to argue that referrals should be all about business. I completely disagree. It takes a lot to develop this type of relationship. Those who do will certainly succeed at building a business from referrals.

When Is It Appropriate to Ask for a Favor?

So the answer to this question of when should you ask for a favor, before you ask for a withdrawal, make sure you make an investment and build a deep referral relationship.

quality

Quantity is Good but Quality is Kingstring(36) "Quantity is Good but Quality is King"

June 19, 2017
, , , Building Relationships, Connections, Ivan Misner, Networking, Networking Tactics, Relationships 3

The more people you meet at an event, the more successful your networking efforts are–and that’s simply not the case.  Instead, the quality of the connections you form is much more significant than the quantity of connections you make.

A few years ago, I had a long conversation with a good friend who was considered a networking expert in Europe.  He did a lot of work with online networking or social networking.  During this conversation, we got into a fundamental disagreement on the subject.  He believed that networking was first and foremost a numbers game.  He said that “the more people you were connected to the stronger your network.”  At first, I went along with this comment agreeing that the number of people in your network was in fact, very important.  I then said, “the only thing more important than the quantity of people was the quality of people in your network.”  Suddenly, our paths diverged.  He said the “quality of people in your network are really not that important, instead it is all a numbers game.” 

To this day, I steadfastly disagree.  Networking is not a numbers game.  It’s more like a people puzzle.  It’s about building relationships with the close people in your network.  That means that it’s about finding ways to interconnect the relationships you have to build a powerful personal network.  In order to do that – you actually have to have a fair number of quality relationships in that sea of contacts.

If your network is a mile wide and an inch deep, it will never be successful.

Instead, your network needs to be both wide and – in places, deep.  That is, you need to have a wide set of contacts but some of those need to be connections that go deep.  Therefore, the quality of your network is just as important, if not more important than the quantity of your network.  This doesn’t mean that quantity isn’t important.  It is important.  The thing is that a small network of quality people limits your success.  However, a large network with multiple quality relationships makes for a much more powerful, personal network.

It is a little like your left hand and your right hand.  Both are really important. But one is generally stronger, more powerful, and generally used more than the other. You can’t accomplish what you want as easily without both.  However, one is the stronger hand.  This is similar to the quantity vs. quality argument in networking.

I believe that it is NOT, what you know, or who you know – it’s how well you know each other that counts.

Strong relationships take simple “contacts” and turn them into powerful “connections.”  It doesn’t really matter if I have an amazing database of people with many phone numbers.  What really matters is if I can pick up the phone and ask some of them for a favor and they take my call then are willing to do that favor.

By the way, since that argument a few years ago, my friend is no longer in the networking business.  Quantity is good but quality truly is King.

John Maxwell

John Maxwell Interviews Ivan Misner on “Building Relationships”string(67) "John Maxwell Interviews Ivan Misner on “Building Relationships”"

December 26, 2016
, , , , BNI, Building Relationships, Givers Gain, Ivan Misner, John Maxwell, Leadership, Mentors, Relationships, Video Blog, work ethic

In this video, I share with John Maxwell how BNI started with my personal need to build my business with referrals. I also share who are my mentors and the philosophy of Givers Gain.  Finally, we discussed how you should make decisions based on the information you are provided WITHIN the context of your value system. Please click on the photo below to watch the video of my personal interview with John Maxell.

John Maxwell interview

John Maxwell Interviews Ivan Misner on “Building Relationships”

Ivan Misner on “Building Relationships”

from The John Maxwell Team on Vimeo.

Sometimes, the Best Addition is Subtractionstring(43) "Sometimes, the Best Addition is Subtraction"

September 1, 2016
, , Growth, Management, Networking 3

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let go.

Let’s say you’re in a networking group and you have hit a plateau. You can remember a time when your group was on fire, when you all had passion and excitement and you couldn’t get to your meeting fast enough. Now, you all seem to have lost steam, and things just aren’t what they used to be. The referrals aren’t being generated, the 1-2-1’s are happening, and the group seems to groan a little every time the meeting begins. You want to regain the passion and help your network grow, but how?

Like I said–sometimes, the best thing you can do is let go.

If you want to add value to your group, you need to take away the things–or people–that are making it dysfunctional. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you want your network to grow, you may have to cut it back.

The TRUE Definition of Networkingstring(33) "The TRUE Definition of Networking"

August 18, 2016
, , Networking, Networking Tactics, Uncategorized, Video Blog 1

What is the true definition of business networking? I’m going to give it to you straight.

Networking is the process of developing and activating your relationships to increase your business, enhance your knowledge and expand your sphere of influence. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

Notice that the key word here is relationships. Successful networking of any kind starts with the genuine desire to build relationships for the purpose of giving and receiving business. If you are only networking to gain and not to give, you’ll never be successful.

Remember-networking is more about FARMING than it is about HUNTING. It’s about cultivating relationships and taking the time and energy to help them grow and flourish. A good farmer knows when to tend to his crop and when to harvest it; if you over pick, you’ll be left with nothing. But if you continue to care for and maintain your crop, it’ll grown abundantly.

Watch the video below to hear more details about the true meaning of business networking.

This video is hosted by the Entrepreneur.com YouTube Channel, Networking for Success.

 

It’s actually NOT about who you knowstring(42) "It’s actually NOT about who you know"

August 15, 2016
, Networking, Networking Tactics, Success, Uncategorized 2

When it comes to networking, the old adage goes, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” We’ve all heard it and we’ve probably all said it.

But I’m here to tell you it’s NOT about who or what you know, but about how well you know each other!

Networking can become a shallow game if you treat relationships like chess pieces, using them for you own best advantage. Instead, if you approach networking from a personal angle with a genuine desire to get to know others, you’ll have far greater success. But how can you deepen your existing relationships with people to get to the point where they’d be willing to help or refer you in the future?

1. Give them a personal call. I know, I know–calling someone on the phone is so dated. But hear me out. Sending an email or a text message won’t get you the same results as actually making the effort to pick up the phone and call someone. Set up a 1-2-1 meeting and DO NOT try to sell them. Set up this meeting to deepen the connection and start to build a professional relationship.  ID-100209414

2. Make personal calls to all the people who have helped or referred you business to you in the past. Ask them how things are going. Try and learn more about their current activities so you can help in some way.

3. Put together a “touch-point list” of fifty people you’d like to stay in touch with this year. Include anyone who has sent business your way in the past twelve months as well as any other prospects you’ve connected with recently. Send them cards on the next holiday, connect with them on social media, and stay connected in any other way you believe they are most interested in.

4. Two weeks after you’ve connected with them (from step 4) call them and see what’s going on. if they’re past clients or people you’ve talked to before, now is the perfect time to ask for a referral. If they’re prospects, perhaps you can set up an appointment to have coffee and find out if their plans might include using your services.

love

Why Steve Farber Believes in Love (in Business)string(47) "Why Steve Farber Believes in Love (in Business)"

August 11, 2016
, Business, Connections, Ivan Misner, Uncategorized, Video Blog 1

The notion of love is too touchy-feely for many of us, especially when it comes to business.

But my friend and fellow Transformational Leadership Council Member, Steve Farber, doesn’t think so. Steve is one of the most renowned leadership speakers in the industry. When we were in Napa Valley together last week, he talked to me about making love a part of your every day mantra as a business owner.

“If the customer loves you, you can blow up their building and they’ll say ‘Eh–accidents happen,'” Steve said (OK, so that might be a bit extreme. But you get what he’s trying to say.)

Steve goes on to say that it’s more than just the forgiveness factor that makes it worth having a loving relationship with your customers.

“Love is what leads to customer loyalty,” he said. “it’s what leads to word-of-mouth and growing your organization.”

I think this advice is spot on. If your customer relationships are held in as high regard as the service you provide, you can only benefit. Customers want to love you-they want to trust and believe in you, which are foundational building blocks of love. Focus on building those blocks with the goal of creating loving, loyal customer relationships, and you’ll create a strong reputation that will hold up in the business community.

 

 

 

Networking for Millennials, by a Millennialstring(43) "Networking for Millennials, by a Millennial"

July 25, 2016
, , , Guest Blog, Guest Blog, Networking, Networking Tactics, Uncategorized 4

This article is from guest blogger and BNI Executive Director Dana Gallagher.

For the first time in American history, three generations – Baby Boomers, Generation X, and Millennials – all with different work ethics, values, beliefs and experiences are working side-by side.  One generation stands out from the rest because they have become the largest generation in the workforce.  Who are they?  You guessed it… Millennials!

Let’s take a step back. What is a Millennial?  This term refers to the generations born between 1982 and the early 2000’s.  Born in the year 1990, I am proud to say that I, myself am a Millennial.  In this article I will be focusing on how my generation does business, communicates, and networks.

Face-to-face networking will never go out of style.  This leads me to a common misconception; that millennials would rather network with one another via social media than face-to-face. All of my experiences, and everyone I know, have shown this to be the exact opposite. If we had a choice of either type of networking the answer would be face-to-face every time, hands down.  Human interaction is one of the most powerful ways to network and connect with others.

With that being said, getting out to networking events every night and seeing people isn’t always an option.  Lucky for us, we have other means of building relationships when we are unable to meet face-to-face.  So what are some of the other ways we network and how does our different generational attributes effect the way we communicate?

Communication Style:

On a daily basis, I communicate with people approximately ten different ways.  The most common ways are text messaging, group text messages, phone calls, e-mail, Facebook, Facebook group pages, Facebook Messenger, SnapChat, FaceTime, and LinkedIn.  Many other millennials use apps, like GroupMe, Voxer, Twitter, Skype, and Kik as a means to meet and connect with other people.  Wait a minute, why do Millennials choose to use all these ways to communicate?  Simply put, it’s quick, easy, and switching tasks helps hold our interest.

While referring to our communication style, informality is key.  For the most part we find it completely acceptable to reach out to other business associates, bosses, and acquaintances via text, LinkedIn, Facebook messenger, Google hangouts, or whatever else.  As long as we get in touch with the person we need, why does it matter how we do so?
Building Relationships:

After meeting someone at a networking event, wedding, back yard barbecue, or any other get-together, we will most likely friend them on Facebook, add them on SnapChat, follow them on Instagram, connect with them on LinkedIn, or all of the above.  By having so many resources to connect with each other we are able to build relationships faster (from the mass amounts of information online) and keep our relationships longer because of the ease of staying in touch.  I may not see you for two years but I know you have become engaged, bought a house, went on vacation, and adopted a new dog, all because you friended me on Facebook.  In short, it’s easier for millennials to establish long term relationships.

Team Oriented:

We are a generation that prefers to socialize and work in groups because we grew up in an environment that promoted constant team work.  On a daily basis, our school teachers would have us work in groups to accomplish assignments.  When everyone played their part, we learned that by working together we can achieve more, create a better result, and have fun!  Our grade school teaching style fostered the belief that collaboration is the most effective way to get a job done.

One of the reasons that BNI is so great for millennials is that it accomplishes two things at once.  We are able to socialize in a group setting while also building a network of people who can help accomplish one another’s goals by working together as a team.  There is no better support system for a young entrepreneur or business professional than a group of entrepreneurs, professionals, and field experts that can share their best practices and learn together.

Business Focus:

Our generation is pursuing careers for more than a paycheck and rejecting the old school mentality of the more you work, the more you’re worth.  We believe that success is based on efficiency and results, rather than long hours and harder work.  By completing our work quicker, we are able to get more accomplished throughout the day and fulfill our desire to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

The focus on a healthy work-life balance has caused a change in the beginning stages of networking.  Rather than the typical conversation starter, “Tell me about your business,” you are more likely to hear millennials start a conversation off with, “What do you like to do?” or “Tell me about yourself.” Why is that? Well, we’re pickier about the people with whom we do business. Millennials prefer to work alongside people whose values and interests align with their own.

Of course, it goes almost without saying that every person is an individual, so keep in mind that some of the characteristics we’ve discussed may not be applicable to every millennial. However, the information in this article refers to the millennial generation as a whole and the common trends that will help you to network and better communicate with them in professional circles.

 

 

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