Five Questions That Turn Contacts into Connections
A good networker has two ears and one mouth and should use them both proportionately.
Too many people walk into a networking event thinking, Who can I sell to? Who can help me? Who do I need to meet? That approach makes networking feel transactional—and people can sense it.
The best networkers approach the room differently. They are curious. They understand that networking works best when you are interested rather than simply trying to be interesting.
One of the easiest ways to demonstrate genuine interest is by asking good questions—and then actually listening to the answers.
Here are five+ questions that can help turn a casual introduction into a meaningful conversation.
1. “How did you hear about tonight’s event?”
Most people at a business event start with, “What do you do?”
There’s nothing wrong with that question, but if you really want to stand out, don’t start there. Instead, ask, “How did you hear about tonight’s event?” Or, “What brought you here today?”
It’s an easy opening that doesn’t immediately make the conversation about business. Their answer may give you something interesting to discuss before you ever get around to what either of you does for a living.
Then you can ask about what they do? (OK, I slipped an extra question in.)
Remember, the objective is to start a conversation.
2. “Who is your target market?”
Once you know what someone does, this is one of my favorite questions because you are no longer simply learning about their business. You’re beginning to think about how you might help them at some point down the road.
If someone says, “I’m a financial advisor,” that tells you something. But if they say, “I work with business owners who are within ten years of retirement,” now you know who they are looking for.
Great networkers don’t just listen for opportunities for themselves. They listen for opportunities to help others.
3. “What do you love most about what you do?”
I love this question because it changes the energy of the conversation.
Ask someone what they do and you will often get their elevator pitch. Ask what they love about what they do and you’ll often hear a completely different answer.
You’ll hear stories. You’ll discover what motivates them. Often, you’ll see their entire demeanor change because you’ve invited them to talk about something they genuinely enjoy.
Now you’re learning about the person, not just the profession.
4. “Why did you start in this business?”
This question takes you way beyond the business card.
People often have fascinating stories about how they ended up doing what they do. Sometimes it was a lifelong ambition. Sometimes it was an unexpected opportunity, a mentor, a family business—or even a complete accident.
Whatever the answer, you are learning their story. And stories are much easier to remember than job titles.
5. “What is your most popular product or service?”
This question makes their business more concrete. It helps you understand what they actually do for their customers and what those customers value most.
And if you are thinking like a great networker, you’re quietly asking yourself: Who do I know who might need this someday?
The Bonus Question
There is one more question I recommend, but only at the end of the conversation and only if you feel you’ve made a genuine connection:
“What’s the biggest challenge for you and your business right now?”
That is a more personal question. But when you have established rapport, the answer can take the conversation to an entirely different level. You may know someone who can help, you may have experienced something similar, or perhaps the best thing you can do is simply listen.
Networking isn’t about firing off clever questions so you can collect another business card. It is about being genuinely curious about the person standing in front of you.
Don’t worry so much about being the most interesting person in the room. Instead, be the most interested person in the room.
Because contacts may open doors—but relationships create connections.