Category Archives: Networking

Most of us have experienced the anguish of forgetting someone’s name while they’re standing right in front of us! It’s like a mental game of hide-and-seek that you’re destined to lose. But there’s hope, I’ve got a strong, seven-step plan to turn your name-guessing game into a name-recalling masterpiece. Prepare to impress at social gatherings and business events, all while keeping your pride intact.

1. Stop the Name-Shaming

Let’s break this vicious cycle of saying “I’m bad at remembering names.” If you keep telling yourself you’re bad at something, your brain is going to believe it and throw in the towel before the networking event even begins. So, let’s all raise our imaginary glasses and toast to a new mantra: “I’ve got this. I can be better at remembering names.”

2. Repetition Repertoire

Imagine this: You’re introduced to someone, they say their name is Jamison, and you think, “Alright, Jamison, got it.” Fast forward five seconds, and it’s like your brain just performed a vanishing act. The solution? Repetition! Ask them to say their name one more time, like you’re savoring the sound. “Jamison”, then, if appropriate, say something relevant to the moment like: “that’s a memorable name, why did your parents name you that?”

3. The Name Ninja Technique

You’ve nailed the repetition, but now what? Integrate their name into the conversation.  Say things like; “How did you hear about tonight’s event Jamison?” As you continue to talk make sure to respond a couple times using their name as appropriate. “Wow, that sounds amazing Jamison!” Towards the end of the conversation ask them what social media platform they are most active on. Then, ask for one of their business cards and make a note as to the social media platform that they like to use. The conversation and the business card will help anchor their name in your mind.

4. Association Amusement Park

For some people, remembering names is like playing a wild game of word association. So, if you meet a Jamison who’s really into football and travel, picture this: Jamison wearing a football helmet, kicking a suitcase across a field while shouting travel tips. Vivid mental images stick like peanut butter to the roof of your brain. Bonus points if it makes you chuckle in the middle of a serious conversation. Whatever form of association you make, dedicate the name to memory. Make associations in your mind. Write notes… When you are back home, review your meeting and try to remember what that person looked like and what they were saying and doing. You may want to send a quick “nice to meet you” message online to help you remember the conversation you had with them.

5. The Phonetic Finesse

If you’ve ever stumbled over someone’s name like it’s a tongue-twister on steroids, try this technique. Ask them if there is a particular way they prefer their name to be pronounced. Not only will you earn extra points for courtesy, but you’ll also have a unique mnemonic device to remember their name. For example, if they say, “It’s actually pronounced ‘Jay-muh-sun,'” you’ll forever think of them pronouncing their name.

6. The Visual Anchor

For some people, associating the person’s name with a distinctive feature of their appearance is helpful. If Jamison has striking green eyes, imagine him surrounded by jam jars made of emerald glass. This technique capitalizes on the power of visual memory, making it easier to recall their name by conjuring up their unique physical trait.

7. The Greeting Gambit

Saying “it’s nice to see you” instead of “it’s nice to meet you” is rooted in the idea that many social encounters are not actually the first time you’ve seen someone. In today’s interconnected world, you might have come across someone’s photos or posts on social media (yes, it happens, I’ve had someone who felt bad that I didn’t remember them from our social media connection), you may have heard about them from mutual friends, or even seen them in a previous event, webinar, or video call. By acknowledging this, you’re not treating the encounter as completely new but rather as a continuation of a relationship, no matter how brief or distant. Plus – this has the added benefit of not offending someone that you’ve previously met. For example, there was the wife of a business associate who was once at a party at my home. Many months later, I ran into her at a grocery store which of course, was a completely different context. I recognized her face, but I had no idea where I knew her from. When she came up and said hello, I said, “hi, it’s great to see you.” She then went on to talk about how much she enjoyed the party and voila – it immediately came back to me where I met her.

So, there it is, the ultimate guide to name mastery. No more awkward moments of standing there with a polite smile while your mind is screaming, “Who are you?!”  With these additional techniques in your networking toolkit, you’ll be a name-remembering maestro in no time. So go forth and conquer those social and business events with confidence, knowing that you won’t be left in the awkward abyss of forgotten names!

As the Founder of BNI, an international organization with hundreds of thousands of members globally, I am well aware of how we are sometimes overwhelmed by commitments and obligations. And I know firsthand how important it is to make the most of your time. Have you ever tried to get back an hour you spent on something that didn’t turn out well? It’s absolutely impossible. Since we all know we can’t retrieve an hour, much less a day, of our precious time, we obviously want to spend it as wisely and effectively as we can.

So, if you spent some of your time networking for your business, you would want to get a high return on your networking investment, right? Here are some tips to help you do just that.

1. Be “on” 24/7
Be on the top of your networking game all the time – 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Networking opportunities present themselves in the most unsuspected places and at various times of day. It helps to be prepared. Always have your business cards with you and have your response ready when someone asks you about what you do. Keep it succinct and memorable by giving a brief summary of your business.

2. Learn to play golf or something else
Challenge yourself to learn the game of golf or some other activity that aligns with your skills and interests. It’s true that a lot of business happens on the golf course. And it could just as easily happen on the badminton court, the soccer field or across a pool table. Even during these “fun” activities, always be prepared for networking opportunities.

3. Have purposeful meal meetings
Get more value out of your mealtime by having a meeting that includes a meal and a specific, meaningful purpose such as business networking. These meetings are strategic and results-oriented and can provide high value for your invested time. Remember:

• It’s not a break from work. It’s a way to build a strong, mutually beneficial relationship with each other.
• It’s not a time to have three martinis. It’s a time to teach three things about your business to a potential referral partner and learn about theirs.
• It’s not about trying out and critiquing new restaurants. It’s a way to help a colleague solve their problems.

4. First impressions count
Make sure you get off to a good start. Begin by taking a closer look at your appearance and your body language. Are they helping you start productive conversations? Or ending them before you can even say a word? Dress appropriately, smile when you meet someone, and maintain eye contact. Be relaxed and comfortable rather than rigid with your arms crossed. Always maintain a positive attitude.

5. Seek out a referral networking group and join a chamber of commerce
If you’re going to venture out and build a network, the first steps should be to seek out a referral networking group and a chamber of commerce to help network your business. These are strong interprofessional groups where participants typically get the majority of their business through referrals. Visit a few groups to get a feel for them and be selective when you make your commitments.

6. Sponsor and/or host select events
Find out how you can leverage sponsorship opportunities and specific events to position your business in front of key people. Of course, you need to take the initiative to do the research and make it happen. Hosting a successful business mixer can also be a powerful tool for fostering connections and expanding your professional network.

When you implement these strategies, you can strengthen your network and get more return on your business networking investment. You also increase your visibility within the community and, most importantly, you get the most value from the time you spend networking.

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I was talking about networking with a good friend of mine, Dr. Mark Goulston (a well-known psychiatrist and consultant), some time ago, and he said, “People should always introduce themselves to the wallflower in the room.  Nobody attends a networking event wanting to stay in a corner and be left alone. They’re in that corner because the most technically skilled people are often socially shy. You never know when you’ll meet the next Bill Gates.”

This comment really resonated with me, and it reminded me of a time a few years ago when I was at a party put on by Virgin Galactic relating to the testing of White Knight Two and SpaceShip Two. I walked outside the party and looked over in the corner by the pool where I saw a man standing by himself looking uncomfortable and very much out of his element. Then I noticed who it was. It was the legendary Burt Rutan, Founder of Scaled Composites, and designer of the SpaceShipTwo! He was by himself at a party with hundreds of people celebrating the work of the company he founded as well as Virgin Galactic.

This was an opportunity I could not pass up. So, I went up and introduced myself to him.  I asked him if he went to many of these events, and he said, “Counting this one – that would be one.”  I asked him why he decided to go to this one, and he said, “Because Richard asked me to come.”  By the way, that would be – Richard Branson, the Founder of Virgin Galactic.

Although he didn’t seem very outgoing in this setting, he did seem good with having a conversation, so I pushed on. I said to him, “It must be incredible to see this amazing, long-term vision come to fruition.” He nicely replied, “This isn’t my long-term vision of what the company can do.”  I’m sure I was visibly surprised as I asked him, “What’s your long-term vision?”  He said, “Well, I believe the company can push forward past sub-orbital flights and expand to allow space tourists to do orbital flights around the earth.”  I naively said, “That’s an amazing long-term vision.” He replied, “That’s not my long-term vision.”  I was really surprised and said, “Okay, what’s your long-term vision?”  He replied that he felt “the company could provide orbital flights to passengers who could then stay at a hotel in space for a short period of time.” At this point, I’m completely blown away, and I once again said, “That’s an amazing, long-term vision,” and, yet again, he said, “That’s not my long-term vision.” At this point I’m all in, and I’m completely fascinated with this visionary, so I again asked, “What’s your long-term vision?” He replied, “I believe we can launch flights into orbit, stay at a hotel in space, and then take flights around the moon and back – that’s my long-term vision.”

Burt was probably in his late 60’s when we had this conversation, and I asked him one final question, “When do you think that vision can become a reality?” And he replied, “I think it can be done in my lifetime.”

The British have a term for what I felt at that moment – “gobsmacked.” I was utterly astounded by this man’s vision, and I was incredibly honored to have had this opportunity to talk with him.

I founded the largest referral networking organization in the world, and I’ve met tens of thousands of people during my tenure in BNI. I can easily say that this was one of the most interesting conversations I ever had with someone at a party or networking event. Burt Rutan’s (and, of course, Richard Branson’s) vision of what can be done through their entrepreneurial efforts has left an indelible mark on me.

The important lesson here relates to Dr. Goulston’s belief that we should always look for the “wallflowers” in the room. Not everyone of them will be a “Burt Rutan” but I’ve found that most of them are interesting and well worth the conversation. Just every now and then, you might meet a Bill Gates or a Burt Rutan, and that makes the effort of finding those wallflowers worth it.

Do you have a story to share about talking with someone who was alone at a networking event? Or have you had your own “wallflower” experience when someone came over to talk with you at a meeting or event?

Photo courtesy of:
“File:Burt Rutan – Cropped.JPG” by Steve Paluch is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.