Group Dance Card Archives - Dr. Ivan Misner®
Emotionally Charged Connection

My ECC: Emotionally Charged Connection

In my book, “Avoiding the Networking Disconnect”, I talk about my ECC: Emotionally Charged Connection. We all have an ECC. It was something that happened to you generally as a child that lays the groundwork for who you are as a person. It can be positive or it can be negative.

Many people are not conscious of their Emotionally Charged Connection, yet it’s the reason we get up in the morning and do the things we do every day.  It’s driven by the heart, not the checkbook or the head–there’s a big difference.  Once you become conscious of this connection, you are able to understand and more effectively apply it.

Gladstone High School

My ECC resulted in my desire to help others to succeed. I cannot make you successful. I always lost when I ran for student council. As a freshman at Gladstone High School, Mr. Romero, my freshman high school history teacher, picked me for the student council. “Oh no, not Ivan. Anybody but Ivan”.   I do not know what he saw in me but I am going to do whatever I need to do to make him proud. He saw something and helped me to succeed. I’m doing the same thing now. I had a handful of teachers that saw something in me and supported me. We all have something like this that helped guide a chapter in our life that will influence our future.

Your “why”–the Emotionally Charged Connection you have with your work–is the most important thing you can figure out about your business. If you don’t know why you do what you do, you’ll never fulfill your professional dreams.

MINO

MINO: Members In Name Only

Being a member of the group is not enough. What I called a MINO (Member In Name Only)  If you are not contributing then why are you there.

Whatever the issues are, just ask, “How can we help?” If we respond negatively, they become defensive. The power is to focus on a constructive approach. If you ask them, “How can we help you?”, their answer will always be either a “Can’t do” or “Won’t do” answer. The person will either explain why they are having difficulty with the situation because they “don’t know how to” address it effectively, or they will give an answer that illustrates that they “don’t really want to” do this for some reason or another. If they are going to say they are really challenged: I can’t do.

How to handle a “Can’t do”:

The printer in a chapter was dead last on P.A.L.M.S. report. We did not tell him that he was dead last. Instead, we asked him, “How can we help you?” The print shop is new, I don’t understand networking. I sleep at my print shop. I do not know how to do this networking stuff. This is a classic “Cant’ Do” response. It is our job to teach them. We were all “can’t do” when we first started. We all make tons of mistakes. When someone alleges they can’t do, they are open to being coached. It is our job to teach them.  If we were just negative and told them they were dead last, he would have quit. Pour into them and help them. They become champions in BNI.

We came up with this together and brainstorm the idea. Not my idea, but I helped. Where the clients come into the lobby area of his shop, he put up a sign where everyone could see it with slots for the BNI members’ business cards. Get 20 copies of everyone’s business cards to fill signs with only the cards from BNI members. Tell them that Bob’s printing referred you. If someone not in BNI wants to give you their cards for the sign, invite them to the next BNI meeting. True story! Nobody just took a card and left. They asked Bob his opinion on each of these. He gave a testimonial with everyone he had cards for. Bob went from last to number one in giving the most referrals. He went from being embarrassed to the top referral giver within 6 months. Bob was the winner of the year. He now loves BNI. We changed his business by coaching and mentoring Bob.

How to handle a “Won’t do”:

It’s too difficult. They give excuses, they are busy, I’m different. With a clear-cut “won’t do”, you open the door for them. They will leave on their own. “I understand your frustration, it is ok to leave the group, feel free to come back if things change”. If you kick them out, they will become defiant and negative towards BNI. They blame and claim it is everyone’s fault. It’s ok to leave on top. If they don’t save face, they will fight you all the way. They don’t hate you if you give them the option to leave in a positive manner. Throw them a “retirement party”. You can cut down the percentage that will require a tough conversation by 90%. Then only 10% of the time you need to have the tough talk about opening their classification and not renewing their membership.

The best part about BNI is friendship; the worst part is the friendship. Ice hockey without rules would be boxing on ice. Without rules, your networking group would be chaos.  You want to be invested in their success. Being a member of the group is not enough.   If you are not contributing then why are you there? Do not become a MINO.

three P's

The Three P’s Of a Great Entrepreneur

There are a variety of factors and circumstances that go into the making of a great entrepreneur. However, there are a few personality traits that will help you make the most of any and every situation you find yourself in, and that could prove the difference between success and failure. It is important to reiterate that there is no sure guarantee to success. However, with the three P’s in your arsenal, failing will not remain an option.

See if you have these three P’s, which have been found to be the hallmark of all great entrepreneurs.

Passion

Passion is the prerequisite for success in almost any aspect of life. Especially when being an entrepreneur comes with the promise of long hours and problems to deal with every day. Only passion can motivate you to keep at your dream in spite of all the hurdles in your way. There is no guarantee that you will be realizing your dream at the end of the journey. Then again, as an entrepreneur, the journey can be never-ending, and your passion is what will see you through it all.

Persistence

What is the reason 90% of startups fail to continue beyond their initial years? Lack of persistence could be the answer. It takes persistence to survive the critical early years and overcome the challenges that every entrepreneurial initiative is bound to go through. Many believe that securing your funding and starting out is It. However, reality proves that this is only the first step. Unless you keep at it through all the hurdles that you face, you will only be a statistic in the course of history.

Problem Solver

The third most important thing that can make a difference in your success is your attitude towards problems. A lot has been said about this, but it might not be enough. As an entrepreneur, one thing you will find yourself doing a lot will be solving problems. The experience of most great entrepreneurs has shown that unconventional thinking and the ability to take calculated risks is what matters at critical junctures.

Luckily passion also means that work will not feel like work, just the way of life; and happiness at doing what you love will enrich the experience.  Your passion will guide your ability to persist. So the greater your passion for your chosen idea, the higher will be your ability to persist at it till you succeed. Only if you are good at problem-solving and able to find the right people along the way to help you will you ever be successful.

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