My Process for Connecting People
When someone asks me to connect them with somebody I know, I follow a process to make sure the connection will be a good fit. In my mind, some of the boxes that must be checked are trust, competence, and alignment of values. In this short video, I share the steps in my process.
Trust, competence, alignment, and preparedness – these are important considerations for me when I am making a connection between two people.
What are some of things you consider when you are asked to make an introduction for someone you know?
These tips go for filtering personal relationships, too. A man recently reached out to me via email, wanting to connect and share stories and memories from our mutual home town, a place I haven’t lived for over 60 years. I doubt that he and I ever met formally; he is at least a dozen years my senior (I’m 71); and he knew my parents only in their role as Boy Scout/Cub Scout leaders (my mother was his den mother).
The poor man is so desperate for contact with the outer world that he got angry at me when I didn’t respond immediately upon receipt of his emails, even after I informed him that I’m still working for a living and have professional as well as personal obligations. Then he asked me to connect him with girls/women from those days I’m still in contact with (only two!). He said he has a wife, but he consistently said he is looking for women from that town who will swap memories with him, via emails, from those days (apparently no interest in direct meetings, as he is physically compromised and no longer drives).
Of course I did not give him what few contacts I have – after all these years, I don’t know them very well, either. But it made me very sad that his life has reduced him to this level of loneliness. I did direct him toward a Facebook group that posts old photos of that region, which are fun – and often comforting – to see. I don’t know if he has done so, but that was the most I felt comfortable doing.
It all boils down to discernment.
De fato a falta de conexões faz com que se busque a mais remota possibilidade de companhia
We need to do in-depth 1-1
Session to help us to understand our member so that we can pass qualified and quality referrals.
reliability, honesty and to know if they wont tarnish my reputation and relationship where i’m connecting them
I like to tell folks something I learned at a conference many years ago … that the #1 job of the person *receiving* the referral is to make the person *giving* the referral look good. I might be referring one of my trusted chapter members to a potential client of mine, so that potential client doesn’t know either of us very well, and a nice tailwind helps all around.
Yes. I agree with you. i too consider above points, before i recommend someone. If i can hire them for my own requirement then only i suggest to others !!!
Yes…. That gives Clarity!!!
I am still new, just over a month in, but I really love the concept and I appreciate the insight you share through your videos. I am learning every day and I admire the vision of BNI. I hope one day I will even be able to speak about it in my home countries and maybe open a chapter there. Thank you for the inspirations.
We have to listen first what exactly person do, the connection he or she is looking for.. & this is happened only when we do 121. Great concept to understand each other’s business. I got business through 121 only. Thank you Ivan!!