What You Need to Know about the Law of Reciprocity - Dr. Ivan Misner®

What You Need to Know about the Law of Reciprocity

The term reciprocity is at the center of relationship networking, but it is often misunderstood. Webster’s dictionary defines reciprocity as “a mutual or cooperative interchange of favors or privileges,” as when actions taken for the benefit of others are returned in kind. This leads many inexperienced networkers to expect an immediate return for any actions they take on behalf of another.  Givers gain, right? Wrong.

Not every act of giving will be immediately rewarded by the recipient, and if you go into relationship networking thinking that simply giving a referral is enough to get you a referral in return, you’re confusing a relationship with a transaction. On the contrary, the idea driving Givers Gain® is actually the principle of giving without the expectation of an immediate return. In networking, this idea is called the law of reciprocity ,and the law of reciprocity differs from the standard notion of reciprocity in that the giver cannot, should not and does not expect an immediate return on her investment in another person’s gain. The only thing she can be sure of is that, given enough effort and time, her generosity will be returned by family, friends, colleagues and others–many times over and in many different ways.

Put simply, the law of reciprocity in networking means that by providing benefits (including referrals) to others, you will be creating strong networking relationships that will eventually bring benefits (especially referrals) to you, often in a very roundabout way rather than directly from the person you benefit.  This makes the law of reciprocity an enormously powerful tool for growing your own business’s size and profitability.

I know a lot of experienced networkers who have amazing stories about how the law of reciprocity has proved to them that there’s far more business to be gained by referring business to others than you might at first expect. If you have a story you’d like to share, I’d love to hear it, so leave a comment. Also, be sure to check back on Thursday for some tips on what to keep in mind as your learn to use the law of reciprocity.

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9 thoughts on “What You Need to Know about the Law of Reciprocity

  1. I recently described the power of network by “your attitude towards helping others”.
    It is exactly as you wrote “giving wihtout expecting an immediate return”.
    Thanks for your great blog!
    Jordi

  2. Excellent networking advice. Be out there to genuinely help and good things will happen for you. You never know where it will come from, that’s part of the fun of it.

  3. Great article. It covers the reason why so many networkers end up disappointed with the whole activity right after they have started on it. And as a matter of fact, we all do at some point, especially when we are the newbies in the networking world, we tend to confuse, as you well put it, networking with a transaction and when contributing to somebody else’s gain we put more emphasis on what we will obtain in return rather than on how we are helping the others parties.
    This should be sent to a lot of people out there, just to open their eyes and approach networking in a different way that will bring more benefits in the end.

  4. Every action produces expectations regarding the future behavior of the one who gives and the one who receives- that’s why this works.

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