say no

Improve Your Life by Learning How to Say Nostring(44) "Improve Your Life by Learning How to Say No"

November 26, 2018
, Book, Relationships, Who's in Your Room

Sometimes people come knocking at your door because they want something from you. However, you either don’t want to work with them or that project doesn’t resonate with you or your values. Other times, you may be dealing with people already in your room, and we feel this is an important aspect of our message. Here are seven ways you can say no and not come across like a jerk (or worse):

  • If I say yes, I’m afraid I’d let you down. A very effective way to tell someone no is to tell them you believe you’d let them down if you do what they are asking. It might be because you don’t have the bandwidth, the knowledge, or the expertise to do what they are asking; but, in any case, you’re not the person to help make this idea a success, and you don’t want to disappoint them. This type of response not only gets you off the hook but also affirms your work ethic and shows you want the person and their project to succeed.
  • Know the difference between an opportunity and a distraction. Recognizing this distinction begins by knowing your own personal or professional mission. If you know your purpose/expertise/mission, then you can say no when someone comes to you with something that is a distraction to that mission. This strategy can be particularly helpful for projects that perhaps interest you in theory but don’t align with your goals and mission in practice, right now. One of the best ways to apply this concept is to use the technique below.
  • Refer them to someone more qualified. When we say no to someone, we always try to refer them to someone who is more qualified or more suited to help that person. We also try to refer them to someone whose mission is more in alignment with their project. Just because you can do something doesn’t necessarily mean you should if it’s not truly your area of expertise.
  • I don’t do that. Sometimes the request and response can be very simple. For example, when someone tries to convince Ivan to have a piece of cake or pie, he simply says, “Thanks, but I don’t eat processed sugar.” When they say something like, “Oh, just a bite,” he has no problem telling them they should feel free to have his bite—because he doesn’t eat sugar.
  • Don’t “Seinfeld” it. One of the really funny things on the old TV series Seinfeld was how the characters would go off on some crazy, complicated subterfuge or ruse and end up getting in more trouble than if they had just been candid to start with. Be polite, but be honest and direct.
  • Propose something else. If you are unable to do something that you’re being asked to do, offer them something else instead. If you are a restaurant owner, maybe you can’t afford to cater that 5K charity race for free, but maybe you can afford to donate several gift certificates for the charity to raffle. By proposing something else, you can still build a relationship.
  • When you say it, mean it! Be a broken record. Sometimes people don’t take no for an answer. Try to be polite, smile, and repeat what you said before. Don’t be surprised if you have to repeat yourself multiple times before people understand you meant what you said.

Let Me Help You Create Your Best Life

This is the premise behind the newest book, “Who’s in Your Room? The Secret to Creating Your Best Life” by Ivan Misner, Stewart Emery, and Rick Sapio.

To order the book, please use this link: https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom

The Kindle edition of “Who’s in Your Room” is available for a limited time for only $1. Download it while the Cyber Monday special lasts.
https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoomKindle

Free Webinars

Let Me Help You Create Your Best Lifestring(37) "Let Me Help You Create Your Best Life"

November 19, 2018
, Author, Book, Who's in Your Room 1
The book, “Who’s in Your Room” (the public edition), is now available.  The lessons in this book are not only relevant to growing your business and your involvement in networking groups they’re also relevant to your personal life.   Therefore, I will be conducting regular free webinars to create your best life.
Free Webinars
Have you ever thought about this?: Am I living my BEST life?  Do you ever feel overwhelmed or inefficient?  Are you truly happy with everyone that you have around you?  Are you having trouble achieving some of your life goals?  If you said Yes to any of these questions, don’t worry – there’s hope.  You see, the quality of your life depends on the people in your life.  The book, “Who’s in Your Room“, will help you discover the secret to creating your best life by creating your best room.
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Free Webinars

I believe this book will have a bigger impact on people’s lives than any other book I’ve ever written. I’m willing to share these secrets with you in regular live webinars – for FREE.  Over the next several months, my co-authors and I will be conducting regular webinars where we will talk about the ideas from “Who’s in Your Room” and how you can apply them to your life today.  It’s all free. It costs nothing.  All we ask is that if you like the content of the book, you tell other people about it.  That’s it.  Free webinars to create your best life, and all we ask is that you be a book ambassador and let others know about the book if you feel it makes a difference for you.
 
 Free Webinars
If you would like to sign up for these free webinars or would like more information, I invite you into my room by going to this URL and signing up for the webinars: https://tinyurl.com/FreeRoomWebinars
Engines

Are the People Trying to Enter Your Room Engines or Anchors?string(60) "Are the People Trying to Enter Your Room Engines or Anchors?"

November 11, 2018
, , Author, Book, Ivan Misner, Law of Attraction, Relationships, Success, Who's in Your Room 2

Over the years I’ve recognized that there are some people who are positive and supportive individuals that I really want to be around.  They are solutions focused relating to most problems and are almost always willing to talk through challenges with a positive end in mind.  These people are engines.  They help me be my best self and they motivate me to drive forward.

I’ve also noticed, as I’m sure you have, that there are some people who complain as though it were an Olympic event (for the record – it’s not!).  They tend to be negative, argumentative, and obsessed with problems.  I’ve learned not to spend much time with these people because they focus on all the things that are wrong relating to most challenges.   If all someone does is focus on problems – they become an expert on problems and not on the solutions.   These people are anchors, they hold me back and weigh me down.

Who do you surround yourself with: engines or anchors?

This is an important question for everyone.  It’s particularly important if you are trying to build a powerful personal network of people around you.  Is your network full of people who are engines helping you go to the next level in your life or your career?  Or, are they anchors weighing you down with the plethora of issues, problems, and complaints? Do they hold you back, or do they drive you forward?

The funny thing here is that no-one thinks they’re an anchor.  No one!  Of course, they’ll tell you that they are an engine – they just do not like the direction you are going and that’s why they come across the way they do.  For the record – they’re an anchor – with a motor attached. My advice is to call for “all hands on deck,” cut loose the anchors in your life, partner up with your fellow engines and go full-speed ahead.

Doorman

This is where your Doorman comes in. Your Doorman is looking for engines, people helping you go to the next level in your life. Your Doorman should forbid entrance to the anchors, people weighing you down with a plethora of issues, problems, and complaints.

This is just a little of the content from my new book, “Who’s in Your Room? The Secret to Creating Your Best Life.”  Check out the book here: https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom.

If you would like to be in my room, CLICK HERE. 

manage

The Secret to Creating Your Best Life is to Know How to Manage Who’s in Your Roomstring(87) "The Secret to Creating Your Best Life is to Know How to Manage Who’s in Your Room"

November 1, 2018
Relationships, Video Blog, Who's in Your Room

Do you love the life that you created? Learn how to live your best life, embrace happiness, and discover how to manage “Who’s in Your Room”.

This video will give you a good overview of what the book is about. Therefore, please watch this video at creating your best life

Live your life to the best by learning how to manage the best room to live in

  • is your room to full of people already?
  • is your room too loud?
  • is your room full of drama?
  • is your room boring?
  • is your room full of angry people?
  • is your room chaotic?
  • is your room full of weird people?
Do you feel lost without people who can provide friendship and advice?
The solution is to take control of your room and take control of your life.
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The quality of your life depends on the people in your life. First, learn the secret to creating your best life by managing “Who’s in Your Room.” Therefore, change your life and click on this link: https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom
Best Life

The Secret to Your Best Life… “Who’s in Your Room”string(70) "The Secret to Your Best Life… “Who’s in Your Room”"

October 29, 2018
, Author, Book, Building Relationships, Relationships, Self Development, Who's in Your Room

Learn how to live your best life, embrace happiness, and discover “Who’s in Your Room”.

This 2 ½ minute video will give you a good overview of what the book is about. Therefore, please watch this video at https://tinyurl.com/CreateYourBestLife

Live Your Life to The Best

This is what Jack Canfield says about this book: “Who’s in Your Room is one of the most powerful personal-development books you will ever read.  It has changed my life and it will change yours.”
♥
The quality of your life depends on the people in your life. First, learn the secret to creating your best life by managing “Who’s in Your Room.” Therefore, change your life and click on this link: https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom
Who's In Your Room

Who’s in Your Room?string(25) "Who’s in Your Room?"

October 18, 2018
, , , , Author, Book, Building Relationships, Self Development, Video Blog 9

I’m really excited about the upcoming release of my latest book, “Who’s in Your Room?” in December. It is my 23rd book and I believe it will have the biggest impact on people’s lives than any other book I’ve done. This is the public version of the book and is vastly different than the BNI version.

What if you had to live your life in one room?  Whoever you want to interact with in life is in that room.  There is only one door.  It is a one-way door.  Whoever is in your room, stays in your room forever.  Whoever comes into your room impacts your life directly in many ways.  If you knew that this person would be in your room forever, would you have let that person in your room?

We design the room we live in, along with the people who are in it.  We can do that consciously, or we can do that by happenchance.  The choice is ours.  Understanding this idea now, who are we going to let in our room from this point on?

What do you think about the concept of “Who’s in Your Room?”  Knowing this concept now – what would you do differently in the future?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

To preorder the book, please use this link:

https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom

How Your Deal Breakers Impact Your Businessstring(43) "How Your Deal Breakers Impact Your Business"

April 25, 2016
, , , Balance, Networking 3
ID-10089874

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Everyone has deal breakers. You have things you won’t tolerate in friendships, in romantic relationships, and in living situations. Whether you know it or not, you also have deal breakers that come into play with your business practices. We all do, it is just a matter of whether or not you consciously know what they are.

So how do you know what your deal breakers are, and then what do you do with them once you know?

Start by figuring out what you simply won’t tolerate in business. Try asking yourself these questions:

  • When was the last time you were really angry/frustrated?
  • What traits do you deplore most in others?
  • What do you find the epitome of misery?
  • What do you least value in friends and business associates?

Now, separately, list out projects or associates that fall in line with the answers to your above questions. These projects and people go against your values, and don’t align with who you strive to be in business and in life. They are holding you back, and in order to elevate your business and move on, you must consider cutting them out. Keeping these people or projects in your life are costing you time, money, and energy. By cutting them out, you can see an increase in your passion, in your happiness, and in your success.

What are your deal breakers? How has cutting them out (or keeping them in!) impacted your business? Let me know in the comments below!

New International Networking Week® Video for 2014string(50) "New International Networking Week® Video for 2014"

December 19, 2013
, , , , , Announcement, Building Relationships, Business, Collaboration, Community, Connections, Global Business, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Referral Institute, Relationships 3

The new video for International Networking Week® 2014 has just been released!

This short, six-and-a-half-minute video, sponsored by the Referral Institute, explains how the week of February 3rd-7th, 2014 will bring about great opportunities for businesspeople around the world and increase worldwide awareness about the powerful benefits of business networking. International Networking Week® 2013

2014 will mark the 8th annual celebration of International Networking Week which is now recognized by many countries across the globe, with thousands of events being held during the week. One of the main goals of the week is to help businesspeople everywhere build their networking skills and expand the opportunities within their reach.  In the video, I talk about Stewart Emery’s “Who’s in Your Room?” concept within a networking context and how International Networking Week presents a great opportunity to reassess the people currently in your life and reach out to people who you want in your ‘room’ but may have lost contact with or need to build a relationship with.

I hope you enjoy the video and that you’re as excited as I am about participating in the global celebration of International Networking Week come February.  After watching the video, please share your thoughts on it, and on International Networking Week in general, in the comment forum below.  I’m looking forward to hearing from you.  Thanks!

Who’s In Your Room? – A Personal Storystring(50) "Who’s In Your Room? – A Personal Story"

February 25, 2013
, , , , , , , , , , Business, Collaboration, Connections, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Relationships, Self Development, Strategic Planning, Strategy, Success 5

A few years ago my company was in the midst of one of the largest projects in the history of our organization.  The project involved many people—it was very complex and financially challenging.  It was also in trouble.  I needed to select a key player for the project team.  The man I chose had incredibly strong technical skills.  He was very qualified for the project and was the perfect person to help turn this around . . . or so I thought.  I knew he came with a lot of baggage.  He didn’t always play well with others, he would fly off the handle emotionally when talking to people and, worst of all, he brought an immense amount of drama to the workplace.  On the other hand he was highly qualified for the work. Based on those qualifications, I hired him as manager. I suspected there would be problems with the drama and the outbursts – however, I felt I could coach him and guide him through this.

It turns out I was wrong.  Monumentally wrong. 

Despite his incredible technical skills, his behavior more than offset his technical strengths.  The project went from problematic to horrific within a year.  It was way over budget, well behind schedule, and not nearly the quality that I expected.   Around this time, one of the project team members told me that the best thing the project manager could do for a meeting was to call in sick!  The team member said when the manager was not there they got a lot more done.

Right about that time, I attended a presentation that Stewart Emery did where he talked about the concept of “Who’s in Your Room?”.  I walked out of that presentation and decided right then and there that this project leader should have never been in my room.  I also realized that getting him out of the room was going to be very difficult.  Why?  Because he kept everything close to the vest.  Most of the people in the project didn’t understand or know many of the aspects of the work, because this project leader didn’t collaborate or share information freely.  I understood that removing him from the room was going to be difficult and painful.  But I was clear on the reality that it had to be done.

It ended up taking months to lay the ground work with everyone on the team by me personally engaging them in pieces of the project they needed to know but weren’t privy to with this manager.  I had to drop many of my normal responsibilities and devote an immense amount of time to this process.  I promoted some people and moved others around.  When all was ready, I made the move and let go of the project leader.  There was an immediate and palpable change in the project.  Today it has made incredible strides, and it is becoming exactly the product that I was hoping for and it is something I am proud of as an entrepreneur.

The lesson I learned in this very expensive and very stressful process was this: be very selective about who you let in your room.  Don’t allow people in just because of their technical skills.  I want a work environment that is a “drama-free” zone and I pick people for my organization who I want in my room.  I now try to select qualified people who fit the organizational culture of collaboration, people who share information and knowledge and people who don’t bring to the process an Emmy Award winning soap opera of behaviors.

Have you experienced this phenomenon?  If so, please tell us about it in the comment forum below and, also, please share any thoughts you have on Stewart’s Who’s in Your Room concept. Thanks!

Stewart Emery: “Who’s in Your Room?”string(54) "Stewart Emery: “Who’s in Your Room?”"

February 14, 2013
, , , , , Author, BNI, Book, Ivan Misner, Networking, Relationships, Self Development, Success, Video Blog 11

In this video, I talk to bestselling author Stewart Emery about his concept “Who’s in Your Room?” which prompts people to practice discernment in regard to those they let into their life.

Just imagine you are going to have to live your entire life in one room with an entrance door but no exit door–who would you let in and who would you keep out?  Knowing the answer to this may be more valuable than you realize . . .

What do you think about this concept?  Does it encourage you to be more careful about the people you let into “your room”?  Please leave your thoughts in the comment forum below . . .

Today Marks the 500th Blog Post on Business Networking.com!string(59) "Today Marks the 500th Blog Post on Business Networking.com!"

August 30, 2012
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , Announcement, Beth Misner, Blogs, Ivan Misner, Networking, Rant!, Video Blog 18

I am very pleased to announce that today marks the 500th blog post on BusinessNetworking.com!  To celebrate, my wife Beth and I recorded this video where we reminisce about which blog posts have been our favorites over the five years I’ve been doing this blog and why these individual posts stand out to us.

Below you’ll find the links to the specific blogs we mention in the video so you can check them out if you’re interested.  To celebrate this 500-blog milestone, I’d love nothing more than to hear which BusinessNetworking.com blogs have been your favorites through the years and why.  I’d really like to hear what you think so please leave a comment in the comments section.

I appreciate you taking the time to read my BusinessNetworking.com blog posts and I am very grateful to have a forum where I can share what I’ve learned throughout the course of  my career and learn from all of you who contribute such great feedback.  Thank you so much for being a part of this community of learning and sharing knowledge to promote the success of business networkers around the world–I’m looking forward to another five years (and hopefully more) of keeping this blog going!

1. The Butterfly Effect: September, 07 – http://businessnetworking.com/the-%e2%80%9cbutterfly-effect-of-networking

2. OMG, I’m an Introvert: February, 2009 – http://businessnetworking.com/omg-im-an-introvert

3. Premature Solicitation: February, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/premature-solicitation

4. The Networking Disconnect: September, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/the-networking-disconnect/

5. Who’s in Your Room: March, 2012 – http://businessnetworking.com/whos-in-your-room

* Rants:*

6. Networking — A Soft Science: September, 2007:http://businessnetworking.com/networking-a-soft-science-only-to-college-profe…

7. My Philosophy About Competition: June, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/my-philosophy-about-competition

8. Relationships are Irrelevant!?: February, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/premature-solicitation-from-a-believer

9. You Don’t Become Exceptional by Looking for Exceptions: September, 2011 – http://businessnetworking.com/you-dont-become-exceptional-by-looking-for-exce…

10. Unsolicited Advice is Rarely Welcome: February, 2012 –http://businessnetworking.com/unsolicited-advice-is-rarely-appreciated

Who’s in Your Room?string(25) "Who’s in Your Room?"

March 26, 2012
, , , , , , Building Relationships, Emotional Intelligence, Rant!, Self Development, Success 9

“Who’s in Your Room?”  This was the question asked by a close friend of mine, Stewart Emery (pictured in this blog) at a presentation of his that I attended a few months ago.

He posed an interesting series of questions and ideas to the audience; “What if you had to live your life in one room?  Whoever you want to interact with in life is in that room.  There is only one door.  It is a one-way door.  Whoever is in your room, stays in your room forever.  Whoever comes into your room impacts your life directly in many ways.  If you knew that this person would be in your room forever, would you have let that person in your room?”

He went on to ask, “If you let people in – what would your room look like?  Would it be:

  • An angry room?
  • Chaotic room
  • Happy room?
  • Conflicted room?
  • Would there be a lot of drama?
  • Are there too many people in the room?
  • Too many interruptions?”

His point was that the quality of your life is a direct reflection of who is in your room.  How you manage who you let into your room (and life) is very important.  How do we go about choosing who we let in?  He suggested a sort of mental “doorman” who is trained on your values and your passions.  It is this doorman who stops people from getting into your life who conflict with your values and passions.  Nobody gets in who doesn’t meet your personal values.

He asked us to do an exercise to think about the people who are in our room now.  Are there people close to us that don’t live our values?  Would we have let them in if we had thought about this concept before letting them close to us?

We design the room we live in, along with the people who are in it.  We can do that consciously, or we can do that by happenchance.  The choice is ours.  Understanding this idea now, who are we going to let in our room from this point on?

This concept fits powerfully with building a powerful personal network.  The people we bring in close to us should be people we want to work with.  They should be people who share our values and our passions.  Understanding this simple concept can help us to understand the difference between an opportunity or a distraction.  It can help us choose between a person who we think has a skill set we need versus a value set we wish to emulate.

What do you think about the concept of “Who’s in Your Room?”  Knowing this concept now – what would you do different in the future?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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