In Business Networking, Desperation is Not Referablestring(53) "In Business Networking, Desperation is Not Referable"

People want to do business with people that they know, like, and trust. Business networking is all about relationships, and successful networkers know that they need to get to know potential referral partners by investing time with them.

However, there are some people who are desperate to make a sale and think that networking is an easy way to get new customers. When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it is a tell-tale sign of desperation.

I have identified four behavior types exhibited by desperate networkers.

The Card Dealer

This is the most common form of desperation that I’ve seen over the years. The Card Dealer is a person that darts around the networking event handing out their business cards like they are the dealer at a poker table. They don’t spend time really getting to know anyone unless they think they can get something from them. To the Card Dealer, networking is mostly a numbers game. The more people they can pass their cards to, the better they’re doing (or so they think). Card Dealers tend to have a personal network that is a mile wide but an inch deep because they don’t spend time building relationships. It never works in the long-run and they just look inexperienced, frazzled, and yes – desperate.

The Space Violator

This is the person who thinks that the closer they get when they are talking to you, the more you’ll be interested in what they are saying. Not true. In fact, it has the opposite effect. Which brings the question: what is the right distance to stand from someone without getting into their personal space? The answer varies based on the cultural standards of the country you are in. In North America, it’s common to have conversations at “arm’s length” with people that you meet at a networking event. In my experience, that distance is often less in some countries around the world. 

The Premature Solicitor

This is the person who confuses networking with direct selling. They meet you and immediately go into sales mode. They want you to do business with them without asking any questions about you, your business, your interests, or even your name. To this person, everyone is a target, and every target is a dollar sign. These people are the reason why many individuals don’t like to go to networking events because they feel pursued and uncomfortable by people soliciting them for business. 

The New Best Friend

Following-up with people you meet at a networking event is important. But be a professional – not a stalker. The New Best Friend is the over-eager seller you meet at a networking event  who calls you, emails you, messages you on social media, and tries to become your New Best Friend in the space of a few days. Generally, they’re not really trying to help you – they simply want to sell something to you. Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind – it’s only to “help you,” however, it’s never really about you. It’s about what they want from you. Desperation oozes from every attempted contact they make with you.

 

Remember that networking is more about farming, than it is about hunting.

Keep  these behaviors in mind when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate these behaviors yourself. Desperation is not referable.

Desperate Networkers

4 Desperate Networkersstring(22) "4 Desperate Networkers"

Desperation is not referable. When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation. Here are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit:

Click here to watch this video

The Card Dealer

This is probably the most common form of desperation that I’ve seen over the years. The Card Dealer is a person that darts around the room passing out cards like they’re at a poker table. They don’t spend time really getting to know anyone (unless they think they can get something from them). To the Card Dealer, networking is mostly a numbers game. The more people they can pass their cards to – the better they’re doing (or so they think). Card Dealers tend to have a network that is a mile wide but an inch deep because they don’t spend time building relationships. It never works in the long-run and they just look inexperienced, frazzled, and yes – desperate.

The Space Violator

Here’s the guy that thinks the closer he gets when he’s talking to you, the more you’ll be interested in what he’s saying. Nope. Not true. In fact, it has the opposite effect (especially if his breath has the aroma of a smelly camel). So, what’s the right distance to stand from someone without getting into their personal space? The answer to this question varies based on the cultural standards of the country you are in. In North America, it’s fairly common to have conversations at roughly “arm’s length” for people that you meet at a networking event. From my experience that distance is definitely less in some countries around the world. What’s also interesting is the issue of gender and personal space or “proxemics.” According to a “Journal of Psychology” study, “male-male pairs tend to interact at greater personal distances, whereas female-female pairs tend to interact closer.”

The Premature Solicitor

This is the person who confuses networking with direct selling. They meet you and immediately go into sales mode. They want you to do business with them without asking questions about you, your business, your interests, or your needs first. To this person, everyone is a target and every target is a dollar sign. These people are the reason why many individuals don’t like to go to networking events. They go to meetings and feel slimmed by people soliciting them for business. They leave the meeting and run home to get a shower.

The New Best Friend

Follow-up with the people you meet at a networking event is important. But be a professional – not a stalker. The New Best Friend is the over-eager seller who after you meet at a networking event – calls you, emails you, social media messages you, and tries to become your New Best Friend in the space of just a few days. Generally, they’re not actually trying to help you – they simply want to sell something to you. Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind – it’s only to “help you,” but it’s never really about you. It’s about what they want from you. Desperation seeps from their pores. I’ve experienced this many times over my career. The one that stands out the most in my mind happened a couple years ago. I met a young man (late 20’s) at a networking event and he went right into “New Best Friend” mode – calling several times, emailing every day, messaging me on Facebook etc. But when he wrote me and said that he thought of himself like my son (yes, seriously – he said that) and he needed my help in his business venture – I had to pull the plug. I tried to pull it gently by talking about the importance of establishing credibility before pitching something and that the process of developing credibility takes time. Curiously, my “new son” abandoned me.

Desperation is not referable. Remember these behaviors when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate these behaviors yourself. Remember that networking is more about farming, than it is about hunting.

Desperate Networkers

Four Desperate Networkersstring(25) "Four Desperate Networkers"

Desperation is not referable. When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation. Here are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit:

Click here to watch this video

The Card Dealer

This is probably the most common form of desperation that I’ve seen over the years. The Card Dealer is a person that darts around the room passing out cards like they’re at a poker table. They don’t spend time really getting to know anyone (unless they think they can get something from them). To the Card Dealer, networking is mostly a numbers game. The more people they can pass their cards to – the better they’re doing (or so they think). Card Dealers tend to have a network that is a mile wide but an inch deep because they don’t spend time building relationships. It never works in the long-run and they just look inexperienced, frazzled, and yes – desperate.

The Space Violator

Here’s the guy that thinks the closer he gets when he’s talking to you, the more you’ll be interested in what he’s saying. Nope. Not true. In fact, it has the opposite effect (especially if his breath has the aroma of a smelly camel). So, what’s the right distance to stand from someone without getting into their personal space? The answer to this question varies based on the cultural standards of the country you are in. In North America, it’s fairly common to have conversations at roughly “arm’s length” for people that you meet at a networking event. From my experience that distance is definitely less in some countries around the world. What’s also interesting is the issue of gender and personal space or “proxemics.” According to a “Journal of Psychology” study, “male-male pairs tend to interact at greater personal distances, whereas female-female pairs tend to interact closer.”

The Premature Solicitor

This is the person who confuses networking with direct selling. They meet you and immediately go into sales mode. They want you to do business with them without asking questions about you, your business, your interests, or your needs first. To this person, everyone is a target and every target is a dollar sign. These people are the reason why many individuals don’t like to go to networking events. They go to meetings and feel slimmed by people soliciting them for business. They leave the meeting and run home to get a shower.

The New Best Friend

Follow-up with the people you meet at a networking event is important. But be a professional – not a stalker. The New Best Friend is the over-eager seller who after you meet at a networking event – calls you, emails you, social media messages you, and tries to become your New Best Friend in the space of just a few days. Generally, they’re not actually trying to help you – they simply want to sell something to you. Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind – it’s only to “help you,” but it’s never really about you. It’s about what they want from you. Desperation seeps from their pores. I’ve experienced this many times over my career. The one that stands out the most in my mind happened a couple years ago. I met a young man (late 20’s) at a networking event and he went right into “New Best Friend” mode – calling several times, emailing every day, messaging me on Facebook etc. But when he wrote me and said that he thought of himself like my son (yes, seriously – he said that) and he needed my help in his business venture – I had to pull the plug. I tried to pull it gently by talking about the importance of establishing credibility before pitching something and that the process of developing credibility takes time. Curiously, my “new son” abandoned me.

Desperation is not referable. Remember these behaviors when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate these behaviors yourself. Remember that networking is more about farming, than it is about hunting.

Desperation

Desperation is Not Referablestring(28) "Desperation is Not Referable"

When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation. There are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit. Please check out these links below that describe each of these four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit:

There are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit.

Click on these links to find out more about each:

Are You a Desperate Networker?

Remember these behaviors when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate any of these behaviors yourself.  Remember that networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. Generally, these people are not actually trying to help you — they simply want to sell something to you. Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind it’s only to “help you,” but it’s never really about you. It’s about what they want from you. Desperation seeps from their pores.

Photo Attribution

The Card Dealer

The Card Dealerstring(15) "The Card Dealer"

Desperation is not referable.

When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation.  There are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit. “The Card Dealer” is the first of these four “desperate networker behaviors” that I’ll be sharing each week over the next month.

The Card Dealer

This is probably the most common form of desperation that I’ve seen over the years.  The Card Dealer is a person that darts around the room passing out cards like they’re at a poker table.  They don’t spend time really getting to know anyone (unless they think they can get something from them).  To the Card Dealer, networking is mostly a numbers game.  The more people they can pass their cards to – the better they’re doing (or so they think).  Card Dealers tend to have a network that is a mile wide but an inch deep because they don’t spend time building relationships. It never works in the long-run and they just look inexperienced, frazzled, and yes – desperate.

The image above is from a great video called “BNI – The People in The Room” about “The Card Dealer” type of networker.  It was done by Charlie Lawson – check it out. https://youtu.be/EDONaoEcuNM

Remember this behavior when you go to networking events and whatever you do – don’t demonstrate “The Card Dealer” behavior yourself.  Remember that networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. Please check out my blog next week as I describe the next of the four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit: “The Space Violator”.

What other kinds of desperate networker have you seen?

Check out these links to the other three types of “desperate networker behaviors” on my blog over the next few weeks: