secrets to harmony

Seven Secrets to Finding Harmony in Work and Lifestring(49) "Seven Secrets to Finding Harmony in Work and Life"

Would you like to know my secrets to achieving balance?  Forget about balance. It’s an illusion. “Balance” assumes that we spend an equal amount of time in all or most areas of our life. It is like the image of the “scales” where everything is completely in balance and equal. It assumes that we must spend a certain portion of each week devoted in some equal measure to every item important in our life.  As an entrepreneur, finding time for your family, your business, and your leisure time can be challenging. It’s difficult to do it all.

The problem with that is that almost no entrepreneur can actually achieve that. We tend to live such hectic, busy lives it is incredibly difficult to fit it all in. So, what do we do about this?  For me, it’s about creating harmony, not balance. This is more than semantics – it is a different way of looking at life.  While life can’t be fully in balance, it is possible to create a life that is in harmony with your vision of who you are and what you want to do. If that resonates with you, try these seven secrets to finding harmony in work and life.

1. Be Here Now

These are three simple words that will make a huge difference in creating harmony in your life. Wherever you are, be there. If you are at work, don’t be thinking about the time you didn’t spend with your family the night before or what you should be doing with your spouse or partner. When you are at home, don’t be thinking about the work you have to do at the office. My secret: Wherever you are, be there fully and completely.

2. Be Creative About How You Manage Your Time

Be creative and inventive in finding ways that you can accomplish what you need to do yet still allow you to spend time with the precious people in your life who bring you harmony. And remember, many tasks and projects have a finite timeline. You won’t always have to resort to this type of creativity unless you want to. My secret: Be creative and inventive in finding ways that you can accomplish what you need to do.

3. Integrate Various Elements Of Your Life

For many years, I spent a couple of weeks or more working remotely from my lake house in the mountains. During that time, I worked my normal hours but also had quality time with my family in a vacation setting. Sometimes I would have my staff join me for short retreats and workdays. It was a great way to integrate work-life into a leisure environment. During the last week or so of the stay at the lake house, I exclusively spent time with the family and didn’t think about work. My secret: Look for ways to integrate elements of your life whenever possible.

4. Practice “Letting Go” And “Holding On”

It is not possible to “have it all.” Unfortunately, life involves making choices. Practice understanding what things to say no to and then letting go of them. Think about the things that are truly important in your life and hold on to them with all your might. My secret: Let go of the unimportant things.

5. Be Intentional About Who You “Let In Your Room”

Imagine that you live your entire life in one room and that room had only one door and that door was an “Enter Only” door.  Anyone who gets in is there for life. If that were true, would you be more selective about who you let into your room?  Everyone I ask that to says a resounding, “YES!” Well, luckily this is only a metaphor. However, when we do let people into our lives that are caustic or difficult, it is very difficult to get them out. My secret: Be more selective about “Who’s In Your Room”.

6. Set Firm Margins 

Life for people in this day and age is crazy busy. People will take up every spare moment in your life if you let them, so it is important to create a life that has “margins.” Build free time, family time, and personal time into the margins of your day-to-day existence. If you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. You’ll be happier when you create margins. My secret: Schedule your time to relax.

7. Work In Your Flame, Not Your Wax (secrets)

When entrepreneurs are doing things they hate to do, they are in their wax – meaning they are doing things that are sapping their energy.  When entrepreneurs are doing things that they love to do, they are in their flame. They are energized and excited. My secret: Do those things that you love to do by staying in your flame.

The truth is that when you are 70 years old, you are not going to wish you spent more time at the office. You don’t need to be a workaholic to be successful. Focus on creating harmony in your life with my seven secrets. Be creative. Find ideas from these secrets that work for you and the life you live. Make the time and be innovative. Harmony is created where harmony is sought. 

Wine O'Clock

Wine O’Clockstring(18) "Wine O’Clock"

Take a little Wine O’Clock time for YOU!

Life for people in this day and age is crazy busy. People will take up every spare moment in your life if you let them, so it is important to create a life that has “margins.” Build free time, family time, and personal time into the margins of your day-to-day existence. If you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. You’ll be happier when you create margins—we promise. Schedule time to relax.

I have scheduled time to relax. Beth and I are taking a vacation this week with my good friend and co-author, Stewart Emery, with his wife. We have been enjoying this week together in Bordeaux France sipping wine and enjoying the sights.

In this video, we discuss “Margins”. You create “harmony” in your life by creating space in your life. Harmony is the access to the things that really matter to you and being fully present; while avoiding those things that do not.

“Who’s in Your Room?: The Secret to Creating Your Best Life”

This is the premise behind my newest book, co-authored with Stewart Emery, and Rick Sapio. We believe this book can change people’s lives. Learn the secret to creating your best life.

https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom

Whatever you are in life, be a good one. Experience the best the world has to offer. Opportunities will open up for you when you do.

CHEERS!

Harmony

Bringing Harmony to Your Roomstring(29) "Bringing Harmony to Your Room"

Psychologists and therapists largely agree that awareness is curative. In this vein, we believe you likely won’t be able to have harmony in your room if you aren’t aware of the people and activities that bring you deep satisfaction.

To bring harmony to your room, find a place where you can sit in silence for a while. Have a pen and paper handy. We suggest you do not use a computer for this, as there is something about the process of writing in your own hand that brings additional depth to the process. You may find it helpful to gently close your eyes and focus your awareness on the process of your breathing for a while. Then begin to review the moments throughout your life when you felt most alive.

Ask yourself:

  • What am I doing when I feel most alive? Who am I with?
  • When am I enjoying myself so much that I lose track of time?
  • What do I look forward to doing the most?
  • What makes me feel fulfilled and satisfied?
  • When have I felt the proudest? Who was I with?

The goal here is simple harmony:

Identify the people, activities, and projects in your life that make you feel alive, satisfied, or fulfilled. To take this exercise a step farther, you can also write a paragraph about each activity that gives you a sense of aliveness. What does that look like? Describe each activity as vividly as possible, and take some time to think through what it would look like to experience each activity more fully—and more frequently. You might be surprised what you discover

Next, strive to say yes to more of the people and things that bring you fulfillment and a sense of aliveness, and strive to say no to the people and things that add stress and conflict within your room. When you consciously design your room, it is much easier to live a life of harmony.

This is the premise behind the newest book, “Who’s in Your Room? The Secret to Creating Your Best Life” by Ivan Misner, Stewart Emery, and Rick Sapio. To order the book, please use this link: https://tinyurl.com/WhosInYourRoom

balance

Harmony vs. Balancestring(19) "Harmony vs. Balance"

If you’re like most people, at some point in time—possibly even today—you’ve thought about having better balance in your life. In this crazy, hectic, technology-driven society, balance is an ever-present concern for many people.  I am often asked the secret to finding it in your life. How can you get the most out of work, life, friends, family, and all of your other activities? Would you like to learn the secret to balance? Are you ready? Here it is:

The Secret to Balance

Forget about balance; it’s an illusion. “Balance” assumes that we spend an equal amount of time in all or most areas of our life. It is like the image of the scales of justice where everything is completely in balance and equal. However, the concept implies that we must spend a certain portion of each week devoted in some equal measure to every item important in our life. The problem with this is that most people can’t actually achieve this on a regular basis. We tend to live such hectic, busy lives that it is incredibly difficult to fit it all in. Balance assumes that we spend equal amounts of time in each area of our life, which realistically, is impossible. I believe in harmony, in finding ways to creating synergy between the things you love to do and the things you’re paid to do (if you’re lucky, they’re one in the same!)

But there’s good news. I suggest striving for “Harmony“. You simply cannot have balance in your life. You can, however, find harmony. This is more than semantics—it is a different way of looking at life. It is possible to create a life that is in harmony with your values and vision of who you are and what you want to do. Even the symbol for harmony (the yin yang) is out of balance if you look at each piece separately.

Here are some keys to a life that’s in harmony.

  • Be Here Now
  • Set time aside for the things that really matter.
  • Find ways to integrate different parts of your life
  • When you’re 70 years old, you’re not going to wish you spent more time at the office

My co-authors and I talk a lot more about this in our book, Who’s in Your Room.   Check it out. 

Harmony is created where harmony is sought. What do you do to create harmony in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts so please share your ideas/tactics in the comment forum below.  Thanks!

Balance Doesn’t Existstring(27) "Balance Doesn’t Exist"

Forget about balance. It’s an illusion.

Yes, you read correctly. Balance assumes that we spend equal amounts of time in each area of our life, which realistically, is impossible. I believe in harmony, in finding ways to creating synergy between the things you love to do and the things you’re paid to do (if you’re lucky, they’re one in the same!)

Try these seven simple techniques:

1. Wherever you are, be there!

2. Be creative about how you manage your time

3. Integrate various elements of your life

4. Practice letting go and holding on

5. Be intentional about who you let in your room

6. Create margins

7. Work in your flame, not in your wax

Watch the video below for a more detailed explanation.

 

The Secret to Balancestring(21) "The Secret to Balance"

I am often asked the secret to finding balance in your life. How can you get the most out of work, life, friends, family, and all of your other activities?

Well, I’ve spent decades building a successful networking organization, and have raised a family. That being said, I have thoughts on the secret to finding balance, and the answer may surprise you.

You simply cannot have balance in your life. You can, however, find harmony, and I have three specific suggestions for how you can do it.

How do you work to find harmony in your life? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Don’t Know What You Want to Be?–Stick Your Tongue Out and Wave It Around . . .string(90) "Don’t Know What You Want to Be?–Stick Your Tongue Out and Wave It Around . . ."

In this video, I talk about the often difficult question of what it is we truly want to do in order to make a living and contribute to the world.

When my kids were young, I often took them to get ice cream as a treat. When they had trouble making a decision about which flavor they wanted, I told them that if they stuck out their tongue and waved it around, the answer would come to them.

As they got older and had difficulty deciding what they wanted to be when they grew up, I reminded them of their tactic for finding an answer to the ice cream flavor conundrum. In reality, I was simply telling them to experiment and feel things out, so to speak, in order to figure out what they were passionate about and what they would truly be happy doing.

The fact is, if you do what you love, you’ll love what you do.  I think it’s so important and it’s an important message for us as business people if we want to have a balanced life–a harmony, as I call it. 

So, what helpful things have you done when talking to kids or others in regard to what they want to be “when they grow up”?  Please share your experiences in the comment forum below.  Thanks!

Balance: Illusive and Elusivestring(29) "Balance: Illusive and Elusive"

When we hear the term “work-life balance” we think about trying to spend an equal amount of time in all areas of our life.  The problem with that is that almost no entrepreneur can actually achieve that. While life can’t be fully in balance, it is possible to create a life that is in harmony with your vision.

WORKLIFEBALANCE

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here are some simple techniques:

  • Wherever you are – be there. If you are at work, don’t be thinking about the time you didn’t spend with the family the night before, or what you should be doing with your “significant other” right now. When you are at home, don’t be thinking about the work you have to do at the office.
  • Be creative (about how you manage your time). If you have a big project at work that has to be done and you want to spend time with the family one evening – get creative. I used to spend the evening with the family and when everyone went to bed, I sat down to write my first book.  I finished the book without taking any time away from the family.
  • Integrate various elements of your life.  For many years I spent a couple weeks or more working remotely from my lake house. Now, I bring my staff and management team for short retreat/work days. The last week, I take off completely and spend time with the family. By integrating the two worlds I create a sense of harmony.
  • Practice “letting go” and “holding on.” Contrary to popular belief, I do not think it is possible to “have it all.”  Unfortunately, life involves making choices. Practice understanding what things to say “no” to and then letting go of them. At the same time think about the things that are truly important in your life and hold on to them with all your might.

What are some of the things you do to create harmony in your life?  I’d love to hear your thoughts so please share your ideas/tactics in the comment forum below.  Thanks!

How to Find Balance in Your Lifestring(32) "How to Find Balance in Your Life"

In this short video, presented by Applied Transformation, Inc., I talk with Roger Green about how to achieve balance in life. 

If you often find yourself focusing on business during family outings or thinking about your kid’s soccer game while you’re in an important meeting, I highly encourage you to watch this video.  You’ll get tips on  how to prioritize, be present, and achieve ultimate harmony.

Do you have any helpful tips on promoting harmony in business and life?  If so, please share them in the comment forum below.  Please don’t be shy–let’s get the comments rolling in!

The Secret to Balancestring(21) "The Secret to Balance"

Do you have balance in your life?  Personal and professional balance in our lives seems to be the ever-elusive dream for many of us.  Trying to balance home, work, health, spirituality and free time seems almost impossible.  It is something that businesspeople have told me for years.

Well, I am pleased to tell you that I believe I’ve found the answer to creating balance in your life.   Are you ready?  Write this down. Here it is:  Forget about balance, you’ll never have it!

I can hear you now . . . “What?!  No balance?!? That can’t be!  It’s just not right!” But wait . . . there IS good news.  Although I don’t think balance is possible, I do believe you can create harmony in your life.  This differentiation is more than just semantics.  It is a critical approach to looking at life that can free you up to see the world in a different way.

“Balance” assumes that we spend an equal amount of time in all or most areas of our life.  It is like the image of the scales (see the picture at right) where everything is completely in balance and equal.  It assumes that we must spend a certain portion of each week devoted in some equal measure to every item important in our life.

Well, the problem with that is that almost no one can really achieve that.  Especially entrepreneurs, professionals and salespeople.  We tend to live such hectic, busy lives that it is incredibly difficult to fit it all in.  Women often tell me that this issue is an even bigger problem for them.

So what do we do about this?  For me, it’s about creating harmony.  Just look at the image representing harmony  in this blog (see the yin yang symbol at right).  Even the image is lopsided when you look at one aspect at a time.  But it is the whole that feels complete.  This is a way to look at the issue that has personally worked for me.  Sometimes I work crazy, long hours for several days in a row.  Or I may be on the road traveling for business for many days at a time.  On the other hand, I am a husband and a father.  I need and want to be there for my family as well as have time for myself.  Long ago I figured out that daily balance is almost impossible.  But I found I could create harmony using a few core principles.

First, three simple words make a big difference to me: “Be here now.” Wherever you are, be there.  If you are at work, don’t think about the time you did not spend with the family the night before or what you should be doing with you significant other right now.  When you are at home, don’t think about the work you have to do at the office.  Wherever you are, be there . . . fully and completely.

Second, make sure to set aside time to do all the things that are truly important in your life. Yeah, I know everyone says that, but here’s my twist:  Be creative about how you manage this. For example, when I wrote my first book I didn’t want to be holed up in my office writing in the evening and not be available to my family.  I found a creative way to find that time that was in harmony with my family time.  A few evenings a month, I’d stay up with the family, put everyone to bed and then go into my office and start writing at 11 p.m. and work almost all night on my manuscript.  I’d catch a few hours of sleep and get into the office a little late to start my day.  I’m a late-night person and this worked for me.  It may not work for you.  However, my point is to be creative and inventive in finding ways YOU can accomplish what you need to do, yet still allow yourself to spend time doing the other things in your life that bring you harmony.  Nothing pleased me more than when I showed my children the book when it was published and they said to me . . . “When did you write that?!” They had no idea I was up late working several times a month.  That was harmony to me!

Third, find ways to integrate various elements of your life. For many years, I have spent weeks at a time up at my lake home in the mountains.  Each year, I spend a week or two working from the lake house remotely.  Now I bring up my staff and management team for short retreat/workdays.  It is a great way to combine my work life into a leisure environment.   Then, the last week or so, I take off COMPLETELY and spend time with my family.  By integrating my two worlds, I create a sense of harmony.

Last, remember this: when you are 70 years old, you are not going to wish you spent more time at the office. You don’t need to be a workaholic to be successful.

Focus on creating harmony in your life.  Be creative.  Don’t try to do the things I do or that someone else does.  Find ideas that work for you and the life you live.  Make the time to do the things that are important to you and be innovative.  Harmony is created where harmony is sought.  OK, that’s a bit “new age” sounding . . . but it is true.

I’m very interested to hear what you think of this approach and/or what do you do to create balance in your life.  Leave a comment and let me, and others reading this blog, know what has worked for you.