Building Relationships Archives - Page 3 of 5

28Aug2014

Are You an Active Networker or a Passive Networker?string(51) "Are You an Active Networker or a Passive Networker?"

August 28, 2014

I was talking with a business woman recently who is fairly new to networking and I was explaining that networking is a contact sport–that it requires people to get out there and actively and strategically build relationships. At one point she asked, “Well, what exactly does that involve? . . . What defines ‘active’ networking?”

This is actually a great question because it opens up a discussion about not only what it means to be an ‘active’ networker but also what it means to be a ‘passive’ networker.

Actively networking with others means you invite those people to one or more of the networking organizations you belong to, carry several of their business cards with you all the time, and above all, refer them whenever you have an opportunity to do so. Active networking also means having a reciprocal relationship with others.

Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We prefer doing business with people who do business with us. Why give your business to someone who’s not willing to return the favor? There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of competent, dependable business professionals in your area who provide any given product or service. They don’t have to buy something from you to reciprocate. They can join one of your networking groups, carry your business cards, or simply refer you to people looking for your product or service.

Passively networking with others means that you use them as a resource occasionally but for some reason cannot actively network with them. It may be because they represent a narrow market where you have no way of assisting. Perhaps they’ve told you they’re not interested in participating in any networking organizations. Maybe they’re located too far away to refer to them regularly.

Now that you know the difference between active networking and passive networking, strengthen your networking strategy by making it a point to:

1. Identify members of your information, support, and referral network components.

2. Spot the voids and weaknesses in your network, and work to improve and fill it with valuable members.

Try pinpointing one person this week to actively and strategically build a relationship with. What can you do to begin to form a connection with them? I welcome your questions and comments in the comment forum below. Thanks!

21Aug2014

Networking Is Not a Short Term Strategystring(39) "Networking Is Not a Short Term Strategy"

August 21, 2014

Ivan Misner

BNI, Building Relationships, Marc-William Attie, networking strategy, Referrals BNI, Building Relationships, Connections, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Referrals, Relationships, ROI, Strategic Planning, Strategy, Video Blog, Word of Mouth

In this video, I talk to my friend, French networking expert Marc-William Attie, about why networking is not a short term strategy and also why the long term commitment that goes along with networking is well worth your while.

Marc demonstrates the value of putting effort into networking by telling the story of an architect who spent three years building relationships with fellow networkers without receiving any significant referrals and then received a referral worth $300,000.00 . . . a payoff that was definitely worth the wait!

Do you have any stories about how your networking efforts have paid off in big ways? Is so, please share them in the comment forum below. Thanks!

2Jun2014

How to Meet the RIGHT Peoplestring(28) "How to Meet the RIGHT People"

A networking event is not–I repeat not–designed to bring strangers together for the purpose of referring themselves to one another. Why would you refer yourself to someone you barely know? A typical networking event is designed to have people who don’t know one another meet and mingle. But for a networking event to be fully productive for you, you must meet the right people for the right reasons. Meeting the right people will make a positive impact on your business and give you a high return on your networking investment.

Image courtesy of jannoon028 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So, at a networking event, how exactly do you identify the right people to meet? You do this by considering two types of individuals: those serving your preferred clients and those who have the potential to help you meet your business goals. Today I’d like to focus on looking at those who serve the same professional client as you. “Hey, aren’t those folks likely to be my competitors?” you might wonder. Not necessarily.

Consider these two examples:

Lorraine is a real estate agent whose preferred clients are retired home owners or empty nesters with assets over $1 million, who love to travel, are country club members, and seriously pamper their pets. Other suppliers for their services might include high-end salons and spas, professional landscapers, financial advisors, country club owners, travel agents, home-cleaning service providers, and pet resorts.
Tanya is the owner of a direct-mail company that targets colleges and universities. When Tanya could not determine who else serviced the decision makers at the university, her marketing coach asked her if she had a current client in that preferred market. She said yes. Then she was asked, “How well do you know her? Will she take your call? Would she grant you thirty minutes of her time?” Tanya emphatically replied, “Yes!” Her coach then suggested that she schedule a purposeful meeting and sit down with her to pick her brain on who she grants her time to and who else supports her needs.

Your preferred clients have many suppliers for their needs and it could be in your best interest to connect and build relationships with those other suppliers so, when networking, you want to focus on meeting these people. The answers to the questions that were asked of Tanya helped direct her to the people she should be searching for while networking. You can gain the same benefit by having a similar conversation with one of your preferred clients and asking questions like these: “Who else solves your daily problems?” ; “Who do you allow in the door?” ; “What companies do you call on when you need (product)?” ; “Whom do you trust when it comes to helping you (type of service)?”

At networking events, look for name tags that fit specific professional categories you’re seeking to cultivate. If you meet a professional who services your preferred client–and you like the individual as a person–consider this the first step in building a new relationship. If you build a trusting and giving relationship with someone who provides services for your preferred client market, it stands to reason that your referral potential will increase dramatically. Remember that in a true tri-win (that’s win-win-win) relationship, that person’s referral potential will also increase, and the client will get the best service possible.

Be sure to come back next week as I’ll be posting specifically about the other types of people you want to focus on meeting while networking–those who can help you meet your business goals.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear any stories you may have about how you successfully built a relationship with someone who serves the same professional client as you do and how that relationship has benefited you and/or the other service provider . Please share your experiences in the comment forum below–thanks!

16Dec2013

For Long Term Networking Payoff, Take Small Steps . . .string(55) "For Long Term Networking Payoff, Take Small Steps . . ."

A few years back, I was speaking to a friend of mine who is a partner in an international consulting and training company. We discovered that we had a mutual acquaintance who is a bestselling author and fairly well-known speaker. In our discussion, we found out that he had contacted each of us individually to see if there were any possibilities for some type of strategic alliance with our companies.

We were both open to that possibility but couldn’t see any immediate and dramatic way our companies could link up with his and do any specific projects at that time. Both of us were also a bit amused to then discover that we were summarily “dropped” from his radar (no response to e-mails or other attempts to connect) after that.

We got the sense that he was looking for the one big alliance that would help his company soar to the next level. That realization started a conversation about the difference in the relationship between the two of us.

Ironically, we had had the same type of phone call with each other just 18 months earlier and came to the same conclusion. There was nothing on a grand scale we could do together at that moment. The difference, however, was the rest of the story.

We agreed to stay in touch. And then we did. We connected several times over the year and met in person on several occasions. During that time, we found some simple ways to help each other and gradually enhanced the relationship. This was in sharp contrast to the third party we had talked to individually. When this person didn’t see any big payoff, we became persona non grata to him. On the other hand, the two of us found ways to help each other gradually and, even to this day, continue to build on our relationship.

We came to the conclusion that most people who are successful at networking and creating strong strategic alliances view the process as a series of small actions taken with many people to create a long-term positive growth for your company. The process is more of a marathon than a sprint. Throughout the race, you form alliances and help each other over the long haul.

Have you had a similar experience? If so, how has this played out in your business? Please share your thoughts in the comment forum below. Thanks!

9Dec2013

Referral Marketing: Know the Risks, Reap the Rewardsstring(52) "Referral Marketing: Know the Risks, Reap the Rewards"

December 9, 2013

Ivan Misner

Building Relationships, referral marketing, reputation, rewards, Risks Advertising, Building Relationships, Business, Connections, Credibility, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Referrals, Relationships, Risk Takiing, Word of Mouth 1

In a radio interview I once did, the host of the program asked me whether I consider referral marketing the safest form of advertising. Without the slightest hesitation, I confidently answered, “By all means, no.” Based on his response, I’m sure he was shocked by that answer.

I went on to explain that I believe very strongly in the tremendous benefits that word-of –mouth marketing can bring. However, there are unique risks associated with referral advertising that are not an issue in commercial or other forms of advertising.

When you give a referral, you give a little of your reputation away. If the business you’ve referred someone to does a good job, it helps your reputation. But if it does a poor job, your reputation may be hurt.

As I said, the payoffs of referral marketing are immense—when it’s done correctly. But referral marketing involves a really big risk: giving away a piece of your reputation every time you give a referral to someone. When you tell a valued customer that a friend of yours is going to take good care of them, you must have confidence in that friend.

But what happens if your friend lets your customer down? It comes back to haunt you. Your customer begins to lose faith in you and, because of that loss of faith, you just might lose that customer down the road. This is why it’s so important to develop strong relationships with those to whom you’re referring business and vice versa. Once those strong connections are forged you can rest easy, knowing when you tell someone a business associate or a networking partner is going to take good care of him or her, that’s what will happen.

Do you have a story others might learn from about a time when referral marketing really paid off for you, or a story about how you experienced the unique risks associated with referral marketing firsthand? Please share your experiences in the comment forum below. I’d love to hear from you–thanks!

7Nov2013

Building Social Capital Is the Groundwork for Future Payoffstring(59) "Building Social Capital Is the Groundwork for Future Payoff"

In a video blog I posted recently, I talk about the Law of Reciprocity which is one aspect of social capital theory. In today’s video, I specifically address what social capital is and why investing in social capital is one of the best investments you can make in order to secure future success for yourself and others with whom you network.

My friend Alex, whom I mention in this video, is a master at building social capital and there isn’t a person who knows him who wouldn’t help him in an instant in any way they could if he asked them to. Alex has an expansive support system comprised of a diverse array of people who are all willing and eager to help him succeed and it’s all because he dedicates himself 100% to investing in the relationships he builds with those around him. If you could use a support system like Alex has (which I already know you could because we ALL could), then start creating ways to build social capital with those in your network at every opportunity.

Perhaps you’ve already got a story about social capital that’s similar to the one I share in this video about Alex, or a story about how you’ve built great social capital with someone who is now just itching to help you in any way they can. If so, please go to www.SubmitYourNetworkingStory.com and share your story for consideration of inclusion in the upcoming networking book I’m writing with Jack Canfield, and Gautam Ganglani. Also, I’d love for you to briefly summarize your story in the comment forum below as well. Thanks in advance for your participation!

23Sep2013

Hyper-Active Visibility Is Not a Good Thing!string(44) "Hyper-Active Visibility Is Not a Good Thing!"

September 23, 2013

Ivan Misner

advice, Building Relationships, Credibility, Networking, networking strategy, VCP Process, Visibility Building Relationships, Credibility, Faux Pas, Networking Tactics, Uncategorized, VCP Process, Visibility 5

Years ago, I met a woman who was known as the consummate networker – she had hundreds (if not thousands) of contacts, giving her a wide-ranging network made up of people from all walks of life. She was well-known as the go-to person if anyone needed anything. Then, one day during a conversation she and I were having, she dropped a bombshell . . . she said that her networking efforts weren’t really paying off for her. She went on at some length about all the groups she went to, all the people she met, and how she had made all these contacts and was continuing to make more all the time but wasn’t actually getting any solid business from her efforts.

Why wasn’t she seeing real results? Because despite her great talent for making contacts and gaining visibility, she was never really getting to the heart of what networking is about–building relationships. She was so busy running around and making appearances that she wasn’t ever learning how to actually “work” the networks she had built in order to build deep relationships with people and develop credibility with them.

It’s true that she was visible in the community–very visible, actually. The problem was that she viewed “activity” as an “accomplishment” when it came to her networking efforts. Her network was a mile wide but only an inch deep. She had not taken the next, and most important, networking step with the many, many people in her wide-reaching network–she never devoted the time to developing the kind of rapport with any of them that would allow them really get to know her, like her, trust her, and want to pass her business.

I bring this up because I just recently saw the same thing with someone I’ve known for a few years. He made a consistent habit of going to every single networking meeting/event he could go to and he was incredibly visible. Not only was he always at networking meetings but he was always full of energy and enthusiasm from the time he arrived to the time he left. Again, the problem was in no way due to a lack of activity, effort or enthusiasm in regard to putting himself out there and meeting new people; the problem was that he was running around so much that he never stopped long enough to spend the time necessary to establish the kind of long-term roots that lead to an ongoing, reciprocal referral relationship.

If your goal is to significantly grow your business, networking with your main focus being solely to make as many contacts as possible will not help you achieve your aim. If you’re networking in this way, you’re also guaranteed to get burned out on networking because constantly being on the go and trying to keep track of hundreds of people who you don’t really know is exhausting. There needs to be a balance between the visibility-creating aspect of your networking efforts and the credibility-creating aspects of your networking efforts.

What are your thoughts on the ideal networking focus/approach? What do you feel your main networking focus is currently? I’d love to hear your thoughts and, also, if you know someone with the type of hyper-visibility networking style I describe in this blog, please share what you’ve observed as far as their networking technique and how you think it has worked out for them. Thanks!

16Sep2013

Purposeful Meal Meetings Equal Networking Opportunitystring(53) "Purposeful Meal Meetings Equal Networking Opportunity"

September 16, 2013

Ivan Misner

Building Relationships, Keith Ferrazzi, making connections, Networking, Never Eat Alone, Purposeful Meal Meetings Building Relationships, Connections, Networking, Networking Tactics, Referrals, Relationships, Strategy 1

So, what exactly is a purposeful meal meeting? First, I’ll clarify what it isn’t. It’s not a way to escape work, it’s not a time to have three martinis, it’s not a romantic date, and it’s not about critiquing new restaurants or reviewing fine wines. All these things can be great fun, I’m not arguing that–it’s just that none of them are focused on, or maybe even conducive to, productive networking.

A purposeful meal meeting is nothing more than a meeting that includes a meal and a specific, meaningful purpose. And the specific purpose I want to talk about today is networking. When networking at a meal meeting, your networking purpose might be to further develop the relationship, to help a colleague solve a problem, to learn how to refer someone in your network, to introduce your colleague to someone significant, or to teach someone how to talk about your business to his own network members. These meetings are strategic and results oriented. They provide high value for your invested time.

Let’s begin by considering the average work week of five days. There are three main meals which could be eaten per day. Barring the usual hindrances to daily scheduling, this gives you fifteen opportunities each week to have a purposeful meal meeting. That’s 780 opportunities in a year. Now, dining with 780 people could not only put a hole in your pocket, but it could tear a hole in some of your personal relationships as well. Let’s be realistic . . . imagine what your significant other would begin to think if instead of eating the majority of your meals with them, you were out eating each meal with a different person. You certainly don’t want to stay away from home so much that your children and/or pets no longer recognize you. So, let’s say half of your meals are spent eating with your family–you still have an estimated 390 opportunities for purposeful meal meetings.

The point is, the potential exists for a substantial amount of networking over meals. No one capitalizes on this concept better than Keith Ferrazzi in his book Never Eat Alone: “I’m constantly looking to include others in whatever I’m doing. It’s good for them, good for me, and good for everyone to broaden their circle of friends.” This level of networking increases his productivity and helps him connect with people from different parts of his community. Ferrazzi believes that his strongest links have been forged at the table. He has learned how powerful the art of throwing a dinner party can be in creating memories and strengthening relationships. Something magical and companionable happens when friends break bread together. Ferrazzi is quick to mention, however, that if we continue to have dinner parties with the same people, our circle will never grow. His solution is to identify and invite “anchor tenants” to your party. These are people who are related to your core group but who know different people, have experienced different things, and thus have much to share. They tend to be the people who have had a positive influence on your friends’ lives. It’s akin to inviting the CEO to the manager’s table, as Ferrazzi says. Soon, other executives will want to be there too.

I had the opportunity to experience one of Keith’s networking parties firsthand and the anchor guest that night was the legendary author Gore Vidal. Providing the entertainment was America’s oldest collegiate a cappella group, the Whiffenpoofs of Yale. Clearly, not all of us will be able to get Gore Vidal and the Whiffenpoofs at our networking party, but I’m guessing that Keith didn’t have them at his first party either. However, the strategy is sound, and I encourage you to try out the concept as a way of building your visibility in the community. Keith has paid close attention to how a meal can most appropriately be leveraged for a business networking opportunity; the primary focus should always be on developing the relationship. Learning about each other, helping one another with problems, and giving of ourselves–that’s what defines a purposeful meal meeting.

Do you have any stories about purposeful meal meetings or dinner parties where you made memorable, beneficial connections? If so, I’d love to hear your story–please share your thoughts in the comment forum below. Thanks!

11Mar2013

Are You Building Deep Referral Relationships?string(45) "Are You Building Deep Referral Relationships?"

March 11, 2013

Ivan Misner

Building Relationships, Deepening Relationships, Referral Relationships, referral sources Building Relationships, Connections, Networking, Networking Prep, Referrals, Relationships 5

Many people have surface-level referral relationships. They know just enough about a referral source’s business to get by. They don’t actually know a lot about the person themselves. They tend to say vague things like: “They are really nice,” “You’ll like them, they are a good person,” or “Well, if you just meet with them, I am sure you’ll like them.”

So, what are the key points to having a deep referral relationship? If you know the following points about a person and his or her business, you would have a pretty deep referral relationship:

You believe they are an expert at what they do.
You trust them to do a great job and take great care of your referred prospects.
You have known each other for at least one year.
You understand at least three major products or services within their business and feel comfortable explaining them to others.
You know the names of their family members and have met them personally.
You have both asked each other how you can help grow your respective businesses.
You know at least five of their goals for the year, including personal goals and business goals.
You could call them at 10 o’clock at night if you really needed something.
You would not feel awkward asking them for help with either a personal or business challenge.
You enjoy the time you spend together.
You have regular appointments scheduled, both business and personal.
You enjoy seeing them achieve further success.
They are “top of mind” each and every day.
You have open, honest talks about how you can help each other further.

You may be shocked at the level of personal knowledge required for a deep referral relationship, feeling that referrals should be all about business. I completely disagree. It takes a lot to develop this type of relationship, and my hope is that you’ll make the effort with someone you truly like, have the desire to help, and want to spend time with.

After reviewing the bullet points above, what conclusions have you come to about the depth of your current referral relationships? Are your relationships more or less in line with these points, or could they use some work? If you have some work to do, what are some of the tactics you are going to start with in order to deepen your relationships? Please leave your thoughts in the comment forum below.

17Dec2012

Lead from “Among” Not from “Above”string(58) "Lead from “Among” Not from “Above”"

Stewart Emery (Success Built to Last) was over my house a few months ago. At breakfast one morning he told me about an interview he did with a well-known billionaire in the computer industry. The billionaire shared an intriguing story with Stewart about an experience he’d had when the senior executives of a company interested in purchasing his company visited his office to discuss the possible purchase.

Stewart Emery

At lunch, the billionaire told the senior executives of the company he was negotiating with that he was going to take them to the Executive Dining Room. They followed him to the dining room which was very nice but not extravagant. But that wasn’t the big surprise. The surprise was that the dining room had a buffet line. Moreover, the billionaire walked up to the buffet line, picked up a tray, and stood in line behind everyone else. The executives looked around the room as it filled up and they realized that this room was not an “executive dining room” but was the company dining room. The boss stood there in line with all the employees. He spoke to everyone. No one was afraid to talk to him. In my opinion, he didn’t lead by being above them; he led by being among them. Stewart told me that the billionaire said the management team was surprised by the fact that he and all the executives ate with all the employees. One of them commented that this would have to change. For the boss, it was a test. This was not the kind of company that he wanted to sell his business to. The negotiation ended that day.

Companies have a choice. They can move toward exclusivity in their organizational culture or they can strive, commit, honor, and embrace inclusivity in their organizational culture.

Sometimes when people meet me, they say that they are surprised that I am approachable. I find that interesting. I think they feel this way because sometimes we, as leaders, act in a way that people perceive as unapproachable. We act “better than” to other people. I believe people should be surprised when a leader is unapproachable, not when they are approachable. The problem is that we live in a world where success sometimes creates a sense of separation (with both the organizational leaders and others). One of the key things to embrace in a successful company is the sense that the boss, the owner, the senior executive(s) are, in fact, approachable.

What are your thoughts on this matter? Please feel free to share any relevant stories and experiences you may have.

30Jul2012

Body Language Can Be the Silent Killer of Conversationsstring(55) "Body Language Can Be the Silent Killer of Conversations"

Body language can be an extremely powerful or attractant or deterrent when it comes to building relationships with others. Could you be unknowingly undermining your networking efforts through your body language?

Here’s a good experiment to implement, sooner rather than later. The next time you’re out networking, take along a trusted friend and have him observe your body language. Here are several things you can ask him to focus on regarding your performance at this event:

Eye contact. Are you making good eye contact throughout the conversation? Or are you looking behind the person to see who else is at the event?
Arm movement. What are your arms doing? Are they folded (“I’m bored”) or tucked behind your back (“I’m interested”)?
Positioning. Are you standing in a manner that is open and welcoming, or blocking people out of your conversation? Are you leaning on something, as if bored or tired? Are you unable to shake hands because you’re juggling a plateful of food?
Facial expressions. Are you smiling, or holding back a yawn? Are you showing interest? What does your face say?

Take time to discuss your friend’s observations and reactions. Listen to the feedback, become more aware, and make adjustments accordingly. Our body language is primarily subconscious–we’re usually not aware of it, or the hidden messages it sends. That’s why we need the help of someone we trust to give us honest feedback.

People check you out visually within the first seven seconds of meeting you. With that in mind, try these two actions in the next few weeks to help ensure that you are making positive and powerful first impressions:

Look in the mirror before leaving the house and ask yourself, “What message am I sending to those who are meeting me for the first time? What opinions will they have of me before I even open my mouth?”
Become more aware of your body language by getting feedback. What are you saying without speaking a word? Take someone with you to your next networking function and ask them to provide honest, direct feedback on your body language.

After you’ve taken these actions, please come back and leave a comment sharing what important things you learned–we’d all like to hear your thoughts!

2Jul2012

Want to Achieve Networking Success with the Opposite Sex?–Advice for Women & Menstring(91) "Want to Achieve Networking Success with the Opposite Sex?–Advice for Women & Men"

Last week I posted a summary of the conclusions my Business Networking and Sex co-authors and I came to after surveying over 12,000 people and conducting months of research. I promised that this week I would post advice for both women and men in achieving networking success with the opposite sex so below I’ve outlined some key tips Frank De Raffele, Hazel Walker, and I put together.

We Say . . .

We’re all trying to get to the same place. It will be much more profitable for all of us if we can help each other along the way. Here are a few things to guide your success in networking with the complementary gender:

For the Ladies

Don’t get stuck in the credibility phase of the VCP Process®. Ask for what you want.
When asking for help, communicate clearly exactly what it is that you want.
Make time for networking.
When speaking to men, try to impress them and share your accomplishments.
When spoken to inappropriately, speak up about it immediately.
Dress for business at business events.
Put systems in place to track your business.
Stay in contact with and follow up on leads, referrals, and acquaintances made.
Diversify your networks.
Remember that networking is ultimately about getting business, so ask for both business and referrals.
Convey an image to others that you are a serious businessperson, in all that you do.
Get educated about referral systems.
Don’t lump all men into the same group.

For the Guys

Slow down and build the relationship.
Work through the VCP Process® in the proper order of its phases. Don’t race through the credibility phase.
Make and maintain eye contact.
Listen and ask relational questions.
Don’t assume that women don’t take their business seriously.
Don’t hit on women at networking events.
Edit what you are about to say, using filters to sift out what is not business appropriate.
Stay in contact with and follow up on leads, referrals, and acquaintances made.
Stay informed about the best, most current, and cutting-edge networking practices.
Develop and use systems for your networking activities.
Make time for networking.
Speak to relate, not just to impress.
Remember that women are at networking events for business gain, just as you are.

The difference between the genders when it comes to networking is a great advantage, not a disadvantage. By following the tips we have outlined above, you should be able to develop more productive relationships with members of both sexes. Also, be sure to visit www.BusinessNetworkingAndSex.com if you would like to follow the latest developments on the subject of business networking and the genders.

1 2 3 4 5