Business Networking and Sex: Not What You Think

Business Networking And Sex (not what you think)string(48) "Business Networking And Sex (not what you think)"

January 3, 2012
, , , , , , , Announcement, Book, Business, Gender, Networking, Recommendation, Survey, Uncategorized

Business Networking and Sex (not what you think) is officially released this week in bookstores.  This book was more fun to work on than any book I’ve ever written.  My co-authors: Frank De Raffele and Hazel Walker were fantastic to work with.

You may be wondering what sex has to do with networking.  You may also be excited to learn how to use your sexual prowess to influence business deals.  Well, get your mind out of the gutter!  Sorry to burst your bubble, but this book is really more about gender than sex, but who’s going to want a book called Business Networking and Gender (do you hear the crickets chirping)?  Not many people walk around thinking about gender, but many people think many times a day about well, you know.

The book is based on the findings from a survey that we conducted.  Over a four-year period, more than 12,000 businesspeople from every populated continent of the world participated in a study focused around 25 simple questions.  Beyond irritating you, the answers may also make you excited and motivated to learn how to work with the opposite sex.

So, pick up a copy of the book – if you dare.  But be WARNED.  It might make you angry.  Oh, and there’s some statistics too.

If you would like a sample chapter or would like more information, go to www.BusinessNetworkingAndSex.com.  If you have an advance copy of the book – tell me what you like most about it.  What surprised you?  What annoyed you?

 

 

Year-End is Time for Vision Makingstring(34) "Year-End is Time for Vision Making"

December 26, 2011
, , , Blogs, Management, Recommendation, Self Development, Success, System, Uncategorized 7

Each year, a few days before New Year’s Eve, I head off to my mountain retreat in Big Bear Lake, California, to recharge my batteries. It’s a great opportunity to spend time with the family and prepare for the onslaught of the coming year.

It’s also a good time to give some thought to the vision you have for your business and life over the next year.

It’s hard to hit a target you’re not aiming at. The new year is a great time to think about some of your plans and goals for the next 12 months (and beyond). Even if all you have is a couple days, take the time at the end of every year to slow down and do some “vision making” for your business. Remember that a successful businessperson needs to work “on” the business as well as “in” the business. Work “on” your business this month by creating your vision for 2012.

This is what I did back in the mid 1980’s when I had some time to reflect on this little networking enterprise that I started, called BNI.  It was during one of these year-end retreats that I created an organization chart for my company as part of my 5 year plan.  At the time, I had two part-time employees.  However, I created an organization chart with 15 different boxes on it.  I put my name in about 11 or 12 of the boxes for the areas I was responsible for and I put my part-timer’s names in the boxes for the areas they were responsible for.

Over the next 5 years, I scratched my name out of each box and put someone else’s name in that box as I hired someone to handle that area.  It was a great exercise that helped me achieve my goals over the next 5 years and it came from one of my year-end retreats.  Clearing your mind and thinking about your the future of your business can be a very good thing this time of year.  Even if you only have a couple days – get away and do some vision making.

If you use this time of year to think about your goals for the future, tell me what you do here in my blog.

Have a great New Year!

Ivan

 

Where There Are Systems There’s Successstring(45) "Where There Are Systems There’s Success"

December 12, 2011
, , , Announcement, Author, Blogs, Business, Networking, Networking Tactics, Success, System 17

I’m excited to tell all the readers of this blog that my next book, Business Networking And Sex (not what you think), will be released in January.  There was a substantial amount of survey data(*) that my co-authors and I were unable to use in the book so we plan on sharing much of that data on the BusinessNetworkingAndSex.com blog.

The following table shows the response to a question about having a “system to track money” in relation to whether or not the respondent felt that networking has “played a role in their success.”   As you can clearly see in this graph, people who had a system to track their business were more likely to have felt that networking has played a role in their success.  Even more notably, those who did not feel that networking played a role in their success were almost twice as likely to not have a system for tracking their business!

This is a powerful finding for people who wish to produce a referral-based business.  Clearly, those people who do not use “systems” to track their business are much more likely to feel that they are not successful in their networking efforts.

(*) Survey data is based on a survey of over 12,000 people from every populated continent in the world.  This survey is the basis of the book – Business Networking and Sex.

The lesson here is to start creating systems to help manage your referral marketing and business networking efforts.

Question – Have you used systems to manage this process?  If so, what have you done and how has it worked out?

What Do You Do When People You Don’t Know Ask For Business?string(65) "What Do You Do When People You Don’t Know Ask For Business?"

December 5, 2011
, , , , , , , Building Relationships, Connections, Credibility, Marketing/Sales, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Online Networking, Referrals, Sales, VCP Process, Visibility 11

I received an e-mail this year from a man named Robert and it contained an excellent question.  The full message read:

Good morning, Dr. Misner.

I was wondering if you could answer a question for me.

When it comes to networking and being a connector, how do you handle requests from people you barely know (or don’t know at all) who ask you to give them the names of your contacts so they can connect with those people for their own ventures or projects?

For example, I received a message from a woman I met years ago via the Chamber of Commerce. She was laid off by the Chamber and now is attempting to find her niche. She sent me a message on LinkedIn that read:

“Hello and Happy summer! Do you know personally any life/disability agents or financial planners? I need to meet as many as possible in RVA to see if they can use our medical services at Portamedic to complete the medical portion of the insurance applications. Please forward any names to me if you do. Thank you.”

This is a great question, Robert.

When people contact me with requests like the one you’ve described, I refer them to my article on the VCP Process and explain to them that though I appreciate them reaching out to me, we’re not even at “visibility” yet.  In order for me to feel comfortable referring them, I would need to build a relationship over time that gets us to strong “credibility.”   When most people read the article, they move on to someone else because they think that networking is about “direct selling” and they don’t understand that it is about long-term relationship building.

How would you respond to this and what is your “policy” for giving referrals?  Please leave your feedback in the comment section.

 

What Are You Waiting For?string(25) "What Are You Waiting For?"

November 21, 2011
, , , , Competition, Marketing/Sales, Networking, Referrals, Sales, Word of Mouth 2

The best referral efforts I’ve seen happen by design, not by accident or wishful thinking.  Many business people view word of mouth somewhat like the weather: “Sure, it’s important, but what can I do about it?”

Referrals and word of mouth can be planned and nurtured.  Anyone, including business owners, entrepreneurs, sales representatives, staff employees, even individuals serving in a volunteer capacity in any field, can accomplish plenty with a well-structured and systematically executed referral plan for a business.

All too often I have seen business people waiting for business to walk through the door.  They think because they are good at what they do, people should be flocking to them. I’m afraid the truth is, it doesn’t work that way! You have to take charge, no matter what business you’re in or how good you are, and bring the business in to you.

I once saw a cartoon strip of two large, ravenous-looking vultures perched on a tree limb, overlooking a dry desert plain. After quite a while, one vulture turns to the other and says, “Wait for something to die? Hell, let’s kill something!” So it is with word-of-mouth marketing. You can’t simply wait for people to come to you. If you do, one of your competitors who also provides good customer service will most likely find them before they show up at your door-step.  If you want to succeed, you have to go get your business, or better yet, have someone else get it for you through referrals.

So . . . don’t wait around.  Do something!

Dumbest Online Commentsstring(23) "Dumbest Online Comments"

November 7, 2011
, , , , BNIBusinessIndex.com, Online Networking, Rant!, Social Media 5

I recently read an article in FORTUNE magazine entitled “OMG!!! The End of Online Stupidity?”

The article was written a few years ago but it stated that “internet veterans have long complained about the steady erosion of civility — and worse, intelligence — in online discourse.”  I couldn’t help but think that things haven’t gotten much better in the last few years.

It never ceases to amaze me how some people behave online (especially if it is anonymous)!  For example, as I was reviewing survey responses to an online survey at BNIBusinessIndex.com, I read two comments that were almost hysterical in their stupidity.

The first response was in relation to the question “Where Do You Reside?”–a question which was accompanied by a list of answer options (including all the populated continents) from which the respondent was asked to select the continent they live in.  In an optional “additional comments” section attached to this question, one respondent felt the need to empatically state, “I’m located in AMERICA not North America!!!”  OK genius.  For the record, America is in North America!

My other . . . ahem . . . “favorite” response was from a person who went on a passionate rant about how “the survey is clearly just a form of ‘pull marketing.'”  He proceeded to ‘scream’ these instructions in all capital letters: “DO NOT USE MY E-MAIL FOR MARKETING PURPOSES!” 

Fair enough, that’s a reasonable ‘request’ . . . the only thing that puts a hitch in the logic of including these instructions is this: not once in any area of the survey are respondents asked to include their e-mail address (the survey is completely anonymous unless a respondent voluntarily offers their name or other info in one of the optional “additional comments” sections).  This respondent’s e-mail address was never once requested, nor was it recorded!  How exactly could we, the survey sponsors, possibly spam people effectively without ever actually trying to collect an e-mail addresses from anyone???

Suffice it to say that people are funny (euphemism for something else I’m thinking . . . I’ll leave it up to your imagination what that may be). 😉

I know I’m not the only one who has seen some whoppers as far as senseless online comments go and I’d love to add some more examples to my list (What?–They make GREAT stories! ) . . . what are some of the dumbest online comments you’ve seen on the internet lately?  Keep it clean though, please–my Mom reads my blog too and, trust me, according to her I’ll never be too old to get in trouble. 😉

 

 

 

Perception is Everythingstring(24) "Perception is Everything"

October 10, 2011
, , , , Blogs, BNI, Conversation, Emotional Intelligence 5

I saw a presentation at a BNI Conference a couple years ago by Chick Gallagher, my Executive Director in Delaware and part of Pennsylvania.

In his presentation he talked about “perception” being relative and how small things can substantially alter one’s perception.  On one of his Power Point slides he had the words:

A woman without her man is nothing.

As you might suspect, it got loud boos from the audience.  Then, he added two commas to the wording.  It still fell in disfavor with the audience (especially the women):

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

Finally, without changing any words he simply changed the first comma to a colon and moved the second comma to a different place in order to make this sentence:

A woman: without her, man is nothing.

As you might suspect – this sentence got loud applause from the audience (especially the women).  His point was that small changes in communication can completely alter the meaning of what is being communicated.

Punctuation is like people’s perception. A minor change can make a big difference in how the message is received and understood.

Have you run into this during your lifetime?  If so, share it here. 

ps. Before I posted this blog, I showed it to my wife.  She told me about a FaceBook page called: Let’s Eat Grandma OR Let’s Eat, Grandma.  The site says – see, punctuation saves lives!

 

You Don’t Become Exceptional by Looking For Exceptionsstring(60) "You Don’t Become Exceptional by Looking For Exceptions"

September 19, 2011
, , Business, Rant!, Self Development, Success 11

Over and over again in life I am reminded that exceptional performance is not achieved by looking for exceptions.  I don’t feel very diplomatic today so, I’ll just say it like I see it.  I find it really tiring to deal with people who want “great” results but don’t want to put in “great” effort.  I honestly think that if people spent half as much time focusing on the fundamentals of success in the areas they are interested in – they would get twice the results of what they are currently getting.  Instead, I see way too many people searching for ideas and then arguing with people about what works (especially people who have already achieved success in that area).

Earlier this year I read an article by a friend of mine who was talking about Tony Alessandra’s Platinum Rule (treat people the way ‘they’ want to be treated, not the way ‘you’ want to be treated).  His piece was well written about Tony’s material.  Then, some guy posted a comment saying this was a horrible idea because people don’t always know what’s best for them.  Really?  That seemed crazy to me but, maybe I was overreacting.  I thought I’d check some of this guy’s other writings.  I started looking at his comments on other people’s postings and he was ALWAYS the guy taking the opposing position.  He disagreed with virtually everyone about virtually everything.  I then started looking at his original postings and discovered he was a total loser!  He clearly jumped from business to business and didn’t appear to be successful at anything.  The best thing this guy seemed to do was. . . wait for it, wait for it – yes, argue about everything.

Soon after I read my friend’s article about the Platinum Rule, I received an email from someone who visited some networking groups and wrote me an email saying:

“I am interested in how I can provide my extensive list of contacts to a local networking group without having to attend the weekly meetings… we can [only] attend once a month to a meeting… but we still [want to] adopt the groups ethos and principles of such a well structured program.”

His request got me thinking…

I’d like to win the Tour De France but, I don’t like all that peddling. I’ve always thought it would be amazing to win an Olympic medal but come on, is all that conditioning really necessary? I would have liked to become a medical doctor but, can I do it without all the blood and internal organ stuff… yuk! I would love, really love, to be a military General – but boot camp? Really, do I have to do boot camp? But, most coveted of all – a Nobel Peace prize. That would truly be amazing. But, must I change the world in some important way?  Surely, there is something less I can do but still get the same results – right?

If only wishing made it so, but it doesn’t. 

Looking for exceptions to what’s been proven to work seems to be the norm.  However, those who go around constantly searching for exceptions to validate reasons why the disciplined hard work that has made others successful won’t work for them will, in my experience, only find one overriding truth–the exceptional people who have achieved success through consistent, disciplined action are, in fact, the only real exceptions to the norm..

Have you seen people like I’m describing here?  If so, tell us the story.   I can’t be the only person who sees this… right?

 

BizPer Social Media Marketingstring(29) "BizPer Social Media Marketing"

June 20, 2011
, , , , , , Building Relationships, Business, Conversation, Entrepreneur, Event, Social Media 19

I met Starr Hall at an Entrepreneur Magazine Conference that we both spoke at last year and she did a really impressive presentation on social media marketing.

One of the things she discussed was the concept of “BizPer” Social Media Marketing. She said that about half of your social media posts should be about business and about half should be personal.

I love the concept but, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the percentage.  I definitely believe that people want to see a little of me as a person via my social media – but, I don’t think that half the posts I do should be fully personal.  Granted, I think that a business message about a personal experience is very good – but, that is still business – not personal.

So, here’s my question to you:  What do you think the best BizPer split  (business focus vs. personal focus) for someone in business to use as a gauge for their social media posts would be?  50/50? 60/40? 70/30? 80/20???

Something else?  How much of your social media (in the context of a business person) should be devoted to personal postings? I’d really like to hear your thoughts on this . . .

Talk ‘To’ Each Other, Not ‘About’ Each Otherstring(68) "Talk ‘To’ Each Other, Not ‘About’ Each Other"

June 13, 2011
, , , , Building Relationships, Collaboration, Conversation, Networking, Rant!, Self Development 13

An important and invaluable lesson I’ve learned over the years is that clear, open, honest, direct communication with people solves most problems. So often I have seen relationships deteriorate to the point where people are talking “about” each other instead of talking “to” each other.

This can happen more easily than you might think.  For most people, when things don’t go the way they expect in a relationship, the tendency is to talk to EVERYONE they know EXCEPT the person they have the problem with.  Someone once told me that when you point your finger at someone, you have three more fingers pointing back at you–this is very true!

So, my advice (which–trust me–is based on years of experience and learning the hard way) when it comes to strengthening and maintaining healthy relationships, particularly relationships with your referral partners, is to talk “to” each other not “about” each other. If you have a problem with someone in your life, pick up the phone and call them right now.  Ask to meet and talk to them about your concerns and, most importantly, how you can both resolve the challenges or issues you’re experiencing and get back to a positive place in the relationship.  Stay “solutions focused”–don’t even attempt to get into the “blame game.”

Now that I’ve explained my perspective which is a result of my experience, I’d like to ask you–the BusinessNetworking.com blog readers–about your experience.

Tell me about a time in your life when you  either spoke to someone and ended up working out your issue(s) OR, about a time when you didn’t and the issue(s) in your relationship got worse and worse.  You’re among friends . . . both situations have happened to the best of us. 😉

Winning or Losing, Trying or Quittingstring(37) "Winning or Losing, Trying or Quitting"

June 2, 2011
, , , , Ivan Misner, Self Development, Success 1

I met with my good friend Dr. Mark Goulston for dinner recently.  Casually, over our meal he said something that made me reach into my pocket and scribble it down on the back of one of my business cards.  He said:

We have much less control over winning or losing at something than we do over trying or quitting at something.

If you always try, you can eventually win.  If you always quit, you can never win.

I loved this statement and it completely resonated with me and what I’ve seen in relation to people being successful at networking or at anything for that matter.

When people give up (even in their thoughts), it’s ‘game-over.’  I’ve always thought that I may not be the most successful man in the room or the smartest man in the room, but I’m pretty confident that I’m the most persistent man in the room.  That commitment to “trying” has helped me succeed.  I think it is the one thing that consistently helps anyone have long term success.

The whole process must begin with the old axiom – if you think you can or you think you can’t… you’ll be right.

When have you seen this in your life or someone close to you?

A Life in Leadershipstring(20) "A Life in Leadership"

April 4, 2011
, , , Author, Book, Building Relationships, Business, Emotional Intelligence, Event, Leadership, Self Development 4

Last week I had an opportunity to go out to dinner with Dr. Warren Bennis after his presentation at the University of La Verne.   It was a true pleasure to spend time with him in a small group.  Dr. Bennis sat on my doctoral committee at the University of Southern California and I had a chance to study under him for a brief period while I was there.

For those few people who may not know who Warren Bennis is, let me suggest that you pick up almost any major book on the subject of “leadership” and I can almost guarantee that Bennis either wrote it or will be quoted in it.

His latest book is called: Still Surprised, A Memoir of a Life in Leadership. I highly recommend this book to you. Bennis is a master story teller who teaches by telling interesting and relevant stories interwoven with tangible and applicable advice.

His presentation last week took me back to my graduate school days.  I sat in the audience at the foot of an icon in the field of leadership and I took copious notes as he spoke to the group.   Here are some of the things he shared in his presentation and at dinner later that evening which impressed me:

He started his presentation by stating that “an organization is not about the buildings, it’s about the values that are passed on.”  He shared four key values relating to leadership:

  1. Showing respect is very important.  In fact, it is critical for great leadership.  We forget how sensitive people can be.  Simple things like saying hello or thank you.  Making other people feel important.  These are small gestures that can yield great results.
  2. Admitting mistakes. If you make a mistake, say “’boy’ I screwed up, but I’ll make this right.”  Telling the truth about mistakes makes us stronger.
  3. Adaptive capacity.  (This was my biggest takeaway of the night!) He said that it is important for us to develop the contextual intelligence to deal with challenges.  NO, we can never conceive of all the potential problems in any given situation.  This means that one’s ability to adapt is truly an important key to being a great leader.
  4. You have to want it! Being in the role of leader is something you must truly want.  If it’s not something you are passionate about – you’re in the wrong place.  Also, it is important to abdicate your ego to the needs of the organization.

During the evening, he quoted a couple of characters from Shakespeare, the first being Glendower who said, “I can call the spirits from the vast deep.” To which the second character, Hotspur, replies, “Why so can I, so can any man.  But, will they come when you call for them?”

Bennis concluded by saying that a defining characteristic of great leaders is that they have inspired followers–people who are inspired to come when called upon by a leader.

Dr. Bennis, it was an honor to spend some time with you last week.  I sincerely hope our paths cross again.

For my readers – which idea above resonates most with you?  Oh…. and pick up this book.  It’s really that good!

1 … 3 4 5 6 7