Attitude Is a Choice and Choosing Wisely Is a Necessitystring(55) "Attitude Is a Choice and Choosing Wisely Is a Necessity"

Years ago I wrote a blog on the importance of attitude in networking and recently I’ve had several situations arise which have reminded me yet again that attitude shapes the outcome of everyday dealings in huge ways so I’d like to revisit the idea in today’s blog post . 

Some days my schedule involves marathon radio interviews beginning at 4 a.m. and, as you can imagine, getting up at an hour when roosters haven’t even begun to think about warming up their vocal chords is not the most enticing of tasks. However, as the Founder & Chairman of BNI®, the world’s largest business networking organization, I agree to do these interviews at such an outrageous hour because it is my responsibility to do whatever needs to be done to network for the organization.

Now, can you imagine what would happen if  I answered the interviewer’€™s first question–which is always “How are you doing today, Dr. Misner?”–€”by grumbling about how I had stubbed my toe and how I wished I was back in my warm bed?  Well, what would happen is that people would be immediately turned off by my negative attitude and nobody would listen to me.

This brings me to my point that in order to be a master networker, you must always maintain a positive attitude no matter what.  With over two decades of professional networking experience, one thing I’ve learned is how important it is to have a positive attitude in order to successfully network.  And if I’€™m going to go around telling other people how to discipline and train themselves to network effectively, then I darn well better be walking the walk (or at least limping along, stubbed toe and all) and maintaining the positive attitude of a master networker.

Now that I’ve shared the second most important trait of a master networker, I figure might as well give you the other nine.  Here they are, ranked in order of their perceived importance to networking:

 

1. Follows up on referrals
2. Positive attitude
3. Enthusiastic/motivated
4. Trustworthy
5. Good listening skills
6. Networks always
7. Thanks people
8. Enjoys helping
9. Sincere
10. Works their network. 

Starting this week, try making a conscious effort to be aware of your attitude at all times and if it could stand some improvement think about three simple things you could do to change your attitude for the better on a daily basis.  If you’ve already got a great handle on maintaining a positive attitude, take this week to focus on one or more of the other nine traits of a master networker and think of three ways you can build your effectiveness in these areas.  As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you might do to implement the ideas in this blog so please share your comments in the forum below. Thanks!

My Journey Into Healthstring(22) "My Journey Into Health"

Since my announcement that I am in remission, I have been receiving many requests to share the details of what I did to get healthy—so many that my wife and I  have created the Misner Plan in order to share this information with many more people than I can individually.

We all know and love far too many people who are obese and/or suffering from many health issues which are due primarily to how and what they are eating.  Many people know they need to make changes, but they are not interested in doing so.  Others want to make changes, but they don’t know exactly what to do.  There is a lot of conflicting advice out there and there may not be a lot of support for the changes they do want to make.

We are not selling anythingAll the information on the site is free (donations to the Misner Charitable Foundation are welcome – but notMisner Plan Logo with Photos required).

The Misner Plan offers both information and support for you as you seek to transform your life and improve your productivity, not to mention increase your outlook for a long and healthy life.

At the Misner Plan website, you will find blog posts with our personal experiences, struggles and successes, as well as upcoming contributions from other well-informed and renowned health-care professionals.  You will find recipes using the specific food list I have been using during my recovery. As you read through the content, please share anything you feel would be of benefit with your own social media followers and join in the conversation on the blog page.

A big thank you to my wife, Beth Misner.  It was her vision and hard work that led to the Misner Plan.

Do you know anyone who’s health has changed because of their change in diet?  If so, share it here.

If You’re Not Networking Up, You’re Not Tapping into Your True Potentialstring(84) "If You’re Not Networking Up, You’re Not Tapping into Your True Potential"

In this short video, referral marketing expert Tom Fleming and I explain what networking ‘up’ is all about and why it’s imperative to the success of your business that you focus on networking up.

Though our natural instinct is often to stay firmly planted in our own comfort zone by associating with people who are either equally as successful or less successful than we are, if we want to achieve higher levels of success, it is crucial that we network up by making an effort to surround ourselves with people who are more successful.

Jack Canfield often says that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with and that concept holds quite a bit of truth; if you surround yourself with and spend the most time with people who are more successful than you, you are in a perfect position to constantly learn from them, meet other successful and accomplished people through their networks, and continually challenge yourself to achieve higher and higher levels of success.

Take a minute to think about a successful person you admire.  What is something they have experience with that you could use their advice on in order to improve your business?  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by contacting them and asking them to share their knowledge with you so what are you waiting for?  Make it your goal to connect with them in the next seven days and to start putting consistent effort into nurturing your relationship with them.  Next, repeat this process week after week with other successful people you would like to surround yourself with and learn from–I guarantee you will be amazed at the results and pleasantly surprised at their willingness to help.

If you’re already networking up, what are some of the most invaluable things you’ve learned from the successful people you’ve been brave enough to reach out to and build relationships with?  Please share your thoughts in the comment forum below–I’d love to hear about your experiences with this!

The Power of Undivided Attentionstring(32) "The Power of Undivided Attention"

When you’re at a busy networking event, sometimes it’s easy to fall into the trap of not giving people your undivided attention.  However, making every effort to avoid that trap and to, instead, be fully present and focused on each conversation you have will no doubt help you make a huge impression on people.

In this short video, I tell the story of how I will never forget the impression Sir Richard Branson made on me in this regard.  The first time I met him, we had a brief conversation about raising children and I mentioned my son Trey.  Months later, when we met again at a party, I was standing with my son and Richard approached me and asked, “Is this your son Trey?”

I was shocked that Richard remembered my son’s name from the brief conversation we’d had months earlier and it showed that he had obviously given me his complete undivided attention during our verbal exchange.  This was extremely impressive to me and though I already thought highly of him for his entrepreneurial achievements, this made me think very highly of him in regard to his character as a person in addition.

We all know that when people are impressed with us and like us on a personal level, they are much more apt to want to help us; so, think about the changes it would make within your business if you were to give laser-point focus to each and every individual at the next networking event you attend.

From this point forward, make your best effort to give those you interact with your undivided attention so you can really connect on a personal level.  I guarantee you’ll begin to make a memorable impact on each and every person with whom you speak.

What can you do this week to show those you network with and interact with in all areas of your life that you are giving them your undivided attention? Maybe turn your mobile phone off and put it out of sight while you’re conversing?  Perhaps you could try listening more attentively and focusing on maintaining eye contact so you’re not distracted by what’s going on around you?  Please leave your ideas in the comment forum below.  Thanks!

 

 

Crucial Conversationsstring(21) "Crucial Conversations"

We’ve all heard the phrase “It’s not so much about what you say, it’s more how you say it that really matters” and, let me tell you, I learned the hard way how true that actually is.  Conversations can be tricky–especially when one or more of the people involved are upset.

 

Back in the 1980s when I first started BNI®, there were only a handful of chapters in existence, as the organization was in its very beginning stages, and it was still small enough to where I was able to make personal visits to chapter meetings.  One day, the chapter president of a local Southern California BNI chapter called me up and asked me if I would come sit in on their next meeting and offer some insight into how they could improve because they were having some challenges keeping their networking group running smoothly and effectively.

I was more than happy to help out however I could so I went to their next meeting, sat back and observed, and then when the chapter president called me up to the front of the room and asked me to offer my feedback, I stood up and began to go over my list of suggestions and changes they should make in order to improve their effectiveness.  All of a sudden, one of the chapter members raised her hand and said, “Excuse me but who in the heck do you think you are, sashaying in here (I didn’t know that I “sashay”)  and telling us everything you think we’re doing wrong?!–You don’t know anything about us!”

How did I respond?  I didn’t respond . . . I reacted.  I went with my gut reflex which was to defend myself, saying that I was the founder of the organization and I tried in vain to argue that my points were valid and that they needed to listen to what I had to say if they wanted to improve.  The way I handled it was completely ineffective because, in a heated situation where somebody was obviously very upset and already convinced I was the enemy, I had no strategy for guiding the conversation in a positive, solutions-focused direction and trying to argue and stick to my guns only made things worse.

That day, on my commute back home from the meeting, I spent the first twenty minutes fuming about how rude the woman was to me in spite of the fact that I had gotten up early to drive out to their chapter meeting and taken time out of my day to go above and beyond to help them.  In the privacy of my own car, with my blood boiling, I drove through traffic flaring my nostrils, vehemently muttering several choice words (which I will not detail here) while I verbally bashed them for being so ungrateful (suffice it to say, I definitely would have been in trouble if there were anyone else in the car to hear me!).

But then I started to calm down and think about how I might have handled the situation differently and it was during that same lone car ride that I came up with BNI’s corporate policy (which is used to this day) on customer support and handling customer complaints.  Below are a few select bullet points from the policy:

  • Remember–people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care
  • Listen and let them talk.  Then . . . listen, listen, listen.
  • Ask questions.  Then . . . listen!
  • Acknowledge the information
  • Understand their complaint and ask how you can help
  • Follow up
  • Thank them
  • Remember–diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.  Be diplomatic!

Some years later, I came across Crucial Conversations, a book which teaches people how to prepare for high-stakes situations, transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue, create situations where it is safe to talk about almost anything, and to be persuasive not abrasive.

Not only are some of the tactics and strategies right in line with what I outlined for BNI’s policy on dealing with tense situations, but it contains a slew of additional tactics that are immensely helpful for ensuring that whatever it is you are trying to say in any given situation is presented in the best possible way (i.e., “how you say it”) in order to achieve the best possible results for everyone involved.

If you really think about it, all conversations are crucial on some level because once you say something you can’t take it back and saying the wrong thing can have sometimes have tremendously negative repercussions.  Whether you are conversing with your fellow networkers, your business associates, or with those close to you who you love and care about, it’s always best to know what you want to say and how you want to say it (and to have a plan to diffuse things if the conversation gets heated) before anything comes out of your mouth . . . take it from someone who definitely learned this the hard way. 😉

To learn more about Crucial Conversations, please CLICK HERE or visit: http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialconversations/.

 

What Is Success & How Is It Defined?string(41) "What Is Success & How Is It Defined?"

No matter what we call it, we all pursue success.  We all have desires and strive to achieve them.  Our desires may be different from anyone else’s, and we may not consider achieving them to be “success.”  We look around and see people whose success we envy.  What is Jake doing with his supply of hours in any given day that puts him so far ahead of me in money, friends, and influence?  Why is he successful, and why am I not?  Why is he flying his own Learjet while I’m rattling around in this two-year-old Jaguar?  Why is she living in a new house and raising three perfect children while I’m still looking for a mate?  Why is that guy’s cardboard box so much bigger than mine, and where did he get that king-size shopping cart?

But without knowing all the facts, without being inside the mind of the other person, you can’t say whether that person is more successful than you.  Maybe he’s worth $100 million but is unhappy because his goal was to become governor by the age of 40 and he’s growing tired of the frenetic pursuit of power.  And maybe you are not as wealthy as you wanted to be, but on the other hand you’ve made it through great personal difficulties and are pleased to have kept your finances afloat and family intact.  Which of you is more successful?  Fulfilling any personal desire is success by any reasonable definition, and you’ve achieved some very important and satisfying goals.

The measure of your success is how well you use your productive time to achieve the goals that are important to you.  Not how you stack up compared to everybody else–but how well you’ve used your own abilities and resources to achieve worthy goals, however humble, for yourself and the people who are important to you.  Who knows?  That would-be governor may be watching you and saying to himself, “I’m a miserable failure.  When did I decide money was more important than enjoying my work?  Why didn’t I stay off the fast track and spend more time with my kids?  Why can’t I take it easy and enjoy life like George is doing?”

Dictionaries define success as the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.  But in real life, success is a slippery concept, especially when you come to your own personal definition of it.  Success is a relative thing and highly personal.  Many an exhausted high achiever has reached a lofty goal only to discover that it was a false peak, that the true summit loomed much higher.  Others have reached the highest heights only to find them barren and empty and then realized the only way down was . . . down.  Yet many a modest achiever has trekked through a lifetime of rocky trails and boggy swamps to realize, after all, what a glorious and rewarding trip it has been.  And the ex-addict who’s stacking lumber?  Every day on the job can be a victory.

So, now that you have an idea of how ephemeral this notion of success is, how do you go about achieving it?  If you’re looking for a generic formula, you won’t find it–there is none.  Success depends on timing, circumstances, situations, and–most important–your own perception of what success is.  Nor is there a mathematical standard for measuring when and how thoroughly you’ve achieved it.  There are many ways to measure success, but in the final analysis, it’s how you measure it for yourself that truly counts.

I’m curious . . . how do you personally measure success?  I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comment forum below.  Thanks!

 

 

 

 

The 2 Key Factors of Successstring(28) "The 2 Key Factors of Success"

In this video, I talk about the two factors that I firmly believe are what make people successful in any situation–hard work and good choices.  The truth is, you can’t achieve success without both of these things.

People talk all the time about the necessity of hard work when it comes to success and though they’re one hundred percent correct about the importance of hard work, I’ve seen people work hard for decades and still not achieve the results they want because they consistently undermine themselves by making bad choices.

Think about one of your more important goals–are the choices you’ve been making surrounding that goal consistently contributing toward achievement of that goal?  There’s no better time than now to make a list of the choices you’ve been making in relation to your goals, examine the list, and decide how you can make better choices toward your goals moving forward.

Are there additional factors which you believe have helped you or someone you know to achieve success in aspects of life and business?  I’m always eager to hear new ideas and learn from others’ experiences and I know many of the people who read this blog share this desire to learn so please offer your thoughts in the comment forum below. Thanks!

What Wind Sprints Taught Me about the Fundamentals of Successstring(61) "What Wind Sprints Taught Me about the Fundamentals of Success"

I learned an important lesson about the fundamentals of success while playing football many years ago.  We had a fairly good team my junior year of high school and most of the players on the team were juniors.  The following year the team had mostly seniors, and we had some pretty high expectations for the season.  A situation like this can make one over-confident, and that’s exactly how we were at the beginning of my senior year.

When the season started, we experienced that brutal rite of passage for all football teams known as “Hell Week.”  It’s called Hell Week for very good reason; the conditioning that a team is put through is pure hell.  The team does very little other than drills and exercises.  I’m talking about isometric exercises, wind sprints (short-distance sprints as fast as you can possibly run), hitting bags, tackling dummies, running in place and hitting the ground on command, more wind sprints, running up and down stadium steps, hitting the sled (while the most overweight coaches known to man are standing on them yelling at you) . . . and, did I mention wind sprints?  Lots and LOTS of wind sprints!

We were doing so many drills, we never even saw a football (except when they were thrown at the backsides of some of the slower players)!  We knew we were going to be a good team, and we felt we didn’t need to go through all this nonsense.  We wanted to play ball–not run around the field, hit bags, and do wind sprints!  So, we formed a little rebellion.  We decided to pull our coach aside after practice and tell him, “Coach, we don’t want to do wind sprints anymore–we want to play ball!”

From my experience, coaches generally have two answers for anything they don’t like.  The first is “NO!” and the second is, “What part of NO don’t you understand?”

Imagine our surprise when he said, “Okay, I’ll make you a deal, if you get here an hour early tomorrow morning for a little bus ride, I’ll let you drop the conditioning program.”

It took us all of about two seconds to say, “Road trip and no wind sprints?–We’re there, Coach!”  We were there early, and rode a bus with the coach to Cal State University Fullerton.  At that time, the university stadium was one of the practice fields for the Los Angeles Rams.  When we realized we were going to see a Rams’ practice, we were beyond excited!  We were in awe.  It’s one thing to be in a football stadium looking down at the field.  But it’s something completely different to  be on the field, looking up.  Even though it was the same size field as the one back home, it felt gigantic!  If that wasn’t enough, the Rams began to come onto the field.

If you’ve never seen professional football players up close and personal, let me tell you–these men are huge.  When they’re suited up, they are absolutely gigantic!  Imagine a door frame with a football helmet–these guys were frightening to stand next to.  We watched as our heroes stepped onto the field.  We watched in total awe as they lumbered out onto the grass and, for the next two hours . . . did wind sprints!  Yes, that’s right–wind sprints.  They were out there tackling dummies, hitting bags, running in place, attacking the sled (they had their really overweight coaches on the top yelling at them)–and did I mention wind sprints? Lots and LOTS of wind sprints!  The truly amazing thing was, they were not only doing the same conditioning exercises we did, they were doing them in the exact same order were did them in.

When we returned to our own campus, the coach took us out and put us in a big semi-circle in the parking lot.  Here, this football coach from this fairly small, lower-middle class high school said to us:

“Boys, it doesn’t matter if you’re talking about Pop Warner Football, high school football, college football, professional football, or life.  If you do not learn to execute the fundamentals flawlessly, you will never be a champion on or off the field.  It doesn’t matter if you are talking about football, school, or work.  When you leave this school and go on to college, you must learn the fundamentals and do the drills that will make you successful in your continuing education.  When you go on to your professions and careers, you will see that there are fundamentals that you must learn in order to be a champion in that profession.  Only those of you who are willing to develop the physical and mental conditioning necessary to execute these fundamentals will ever succeed.  This is something you must choose.  I can’t choose it for you.”

It took about 10 seconds for the entire team of 39 young men, including me, to enthusiastically choose to do–you guessed it–wind sprints.

We had a great season.  But, more importantly, we learned an incredible life lesson.  Success comes to those who execute the fundamentals flawlessly.  It comes to those who work hard on the “right things.”  It comes to those who drill and learn and drill some more.  It comes to those of us who, day in and day out, are willing to do the wind sprints necessary to succeed.

Are there fundamentals in your business which you need to work on in order to execute them flawlessly?  There’s no better time (and no more necessary time!) than now to start doing the necessary “wind sprints” that will ensure lasting success for you and your business.  Take it a step further by holding yourself accountable–leave a comment below outlining what business fundamentals you’re going to work on this week and tell us how you you’re going to work toward flawless execution of those specific fundamentals.

Making a Difference in Someone’s Lifestring(43) "Making a Difference in Someone’s Life"

There are little ways and big ways of making a difference in someone’s life.  More likely than not, there’s someone you can immediately call to mind who has impacted you and really made a difference in your life, whether it happened recently or even back during your formative years.

There are definitely certain individuals in my life who have made a big difference for me and in this five-minute video, I tell the story of how one of these people in specific really made a positive impact on my life back in high school and helped shape me into who I am today simply by believing in me and giving me a chance when it seemed that no one else would.

After watching the video, please share a story of your own in the comment forum below about a person you are grateful to for the way they positively influenced your life and made a difference for you.

On Friday, April 5th I will review all the comments and I’ll pick the top three standout stories.  If your story is one of the top three, I’ll send you an autographed copy of Masters of Success and, additionally, if you have a current mailing address for the person who made a difference in your life, I’ll send an autographed copy of the book along with a personal note of recognition to them as well.  A little bit of recognition can mean a lot and, who knows . . . simply bringing to light that you are grateful to them may even find you making a difference in their life.

Get a Top Notch Networking Education for Free at NetworkingNow.com!string(67) "Get a Top Notch Networking Education for Free at NetworkingNow.com!"

This video from NetworkingNow.com explains the powerful impact your business card can have and why it’s so important to tailor your business card to coincide with the exact business image you want to present.  

This video is just one example of the vast array of educational content offered on NetworkingNow.com–there are literally hundreds of business and networking downloads available in the site’s online library and you can access all of them for FREE for six months by entering the free subscription code given below.

The free subscription is a gift from BusinessNetworking.com and all you have to do is enter the code (“freesixmonths”) on NetworkingNow.com to gain access to the entire library of content!  Please note that you will be required to enter a credit card number on the site but you will not be billed for the free six month membership.  You will need to end your subscription if you don’t wish to be billed for the second six months.

Please leave a comment and let me know what type of downloadable content you most like to access on sites like NetworkingNow.com:

  • Video?
  • Audio?
  • PDF Articles?
  • Digital Books?
  • Something Else? If so, what specifically?

Who’s In Your Room? – A Personal Storystring(50) "Who’s In Your Room? – A Personal Story"

A few years ago my company was in the midst of one of the largest projects in the history of our organization.  The project involved many people—it was very complex and financially challenging.  It was also in trouble.  I needed to select a key player for the project team.  The man I chose had incredibly strong technical skills.  He was very qualified for the project and was the perfect person to help turn this around . . . or so I thought.  I knew he came with a lot of baggage.  He didn’t always play well with others, he would fly off the handle emotionally when talking to people and, worst of all, he brought an immense amount of drama to the workplace.  On the other hand he was highly qualified for the work. Based on those qualifications, I hired him as manager. I suspected there would be problems with the drama and the outbursts – however, I felt I could coach him and guide him through this.

It turns out I was wrong.  Monumentally wrong. 

Despite his incredible technical skills, his behavior more than offset his technical strengths.  The project went from problematic to horrific within a year.  It was way over budget, well behind schedule, and not nearly the quality that I expected.   Around this time, one of the project team members told me that the best thing the project manager could do for a meeting was to call in sick!  The team member said when the manager was not there they got a lot more done.

Right about that time, I attended a presentation that Stewart Emery did where he talked about the concept of “Who’s in Your Room?”.  I walked out of that presentation and decided right then and there that this project leader should have never been in my room.  I also realized that getting him out of the room was going to be very difficult.  Why?  Because he kept everything close to the vest.  Most of the people in the project didn’t understand or know many of the aspects of the work, because this project leader didn’t collaborate or share information freely.  I understood that removing him from the room was going to be difficult and painful.  But I was clear on the reality that it had to be done.

It ended up taking months to lay the ground work with everyone on the team by me personally engaging them in pieces of the project they needed to know but weren’t privy to with this manager.  I had to drop many of my normal responsibilities and devote an immense amount of time to this process.  I promoted some people and moved others around.  When all was ready, I made the move and let go of the project leader.  There was an immediate and palpable change in the project.  Today it has made incredible strides, and it is becoming exactly the product that I was hoping for and it is something I am proud of as an entrepreneur.

The lesson I learned in this very expensive and very stressful process was this: be very selective about who you let in your room.  Don’t allow people in just because of their technical skills.  I want a work environment that is a “drama-free” zone and I pick people for my organization who I want in my room.  I now try to select qualified people who fit the organizational culture of collaboration, people who share information and knowledge and people who don’t bring to the process an Emmy Award winning soap opera of behaviors.

Have you experienced this phenomenon?  If so, please tell us about it in the comment forum below and, also, please share any thoughts you have on Stewart’s Who’s in Your Room concept. Thanks!

Stewart Emery: “Who’s in Your Room?”string(54) "Stewart Emery: “Who’s in Your Room?”"

In this video, I talk to bestselling author Stewart Emery about his concept “Who’s in Your Room?” which prompts people to practice discernment in regard to those they let into their life.

Just imagine you are going to have to live your entire life in one room with an entrance door but no exit door–who would you let in and who would you keep out?  Knowing the answer to this may be more valuable than you realize . . .

What do you think about this concept?  Does it encourage you to be more careful about the people you let into “your room”?  Please leave your thoughts in the comment forum below . . .

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