Relationships | Dr. Ivan Misner®

23Mar2015

Networking and Friendsstring(22) "Networking and Friends"

March 23, 2015

friendship, goals, Leadership, networking meetings, purpose, relationships, system Building Relationships, Connections, Goals, Networking, Networking Prep, Purpose, Relationships, Strategy, System 6

One of the strengths of a good networking group is that most of the members become friends. And ironically, one of the weaknesses is that most of the members become friends. It’s both a strength and a weakness. Accountability becomes key in running a good network because friends don’t like to hold friends accountable. But, people who truly understand networking are not going to have a problem with system and structure.

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It can be dangerously easy for a networking group that meets regularly to become a coffee talk session with little or no networking going on. That’s exactly what happens when a group loses sight of their purpose, focus, system, and structure–or never has any of those things to begin with.

People begin to make up their own agendas and the networking loses focus. When you lose focus, the meetings become social. Networking should be about business. Of course there has to be a social aspect, but it’s really about business, commitment, and accountability. People can be like water and tend to take the path of least resistance. Without the proper framework in which to operate, the agenda becomes the topic of the day and it ends up being whatever the person running the group thinks the meeting should be about. That sort of inconsistency over time is a problem for a networking group.

Even if you have a good, strong leader, at some point the person’s life will change or maybe he or she will simply get burned out. The problem starts if there is no one else to teach. Teaching is a leaky-bucket process. You start with a whole bucket of information. When that information is taught to someone else, some of that information leaks out and the people being taught only get that limited version of the information. In turn, when that person teaches someone else, the material continues to get watered down based on their understanding and ability to articulate the material.

By the time you are in the third or fourth generation of people passing along the information, you only have about half a bucket remaining. When the bucket of information gets low, people start putting in their own stuff. Very rarely does the material improve over time with this process.

In short, it is a beautiful thing when people in a networking group become close friends–the key to making sure it doesn’t detract from the goals of building each other’s business through networking, however, is to ensure that no matter what type of networking group you’re in the group has a strong sense of purpose, a solid structure, and that each member is committed to carrying out the systems for networking which are already in place.

So, how does your networking group maintain its focus and its commitment to its systematic networking practices (e.g., careful selection of leadership, effective training programs, etc.)? I’d love to hear your thoughts–please share them in the comment forum below. Thanks so much for your participation!

5Mar2015

Staying Focused in a Hyper Worldstring(32) "Staying Focused in a Hyper World"

March 5, 2015

Ivan Misner

John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Staying Focused, Women Are from Venus Building Relationships, Connections, Focus, Health, Relationships, Uncategorized, Video Blog

Some months back, I posted a blog about my good friend John Gray’s most recent book, Staying Focused in a Hyper World. Today I’d like to share another video with him about the topic because recently I’ve been reminded several times about the increasing importance of finding ways to stay focused amidst the bombardment of technology we’re faced with daily.

Dr. John Gray is not only my good friend, he’s also an extremely well known author–his most well known book being Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. At a recent TLC (Transformational Leadership Council) conference, I had the chance to record this video with him where we discuss his latest book and reveal natural solutions for increasing/restoring memory, improving attention span and focus, and overcoming ADHD no matter what cacophony of bustling and distraction is going on around us.

John was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease some years ago and he embarked on a mission to treat it through natural solutions. During this time, he discovered he had ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)and, quite interestingly, he was able to counteract that through natural means without the use of harmful, side-effect-inducing drugs.

In this day and age, we are so bombarded with technology and distractions that even if we don’t have ADHD, it can often be extremely difficult to stay focused and this can be a great deterrent to our success. For this reason, I highly recommend John’s new book. Businesspeople can especially benefit from the advice in this book as they tend to live highly fast-paced lives and they are often simultaneously pulled in several different directions.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about what John has to say in this video (you can leave your comments in the comment forum below) and if you’d like to learn more about Staying Focused in a Hyper World, please click here. Thanks!

23Feb2015

Referral Marketing Is Risky–It’s Also Rewardingstring(59) "Referral Marketing Is Risky–It’s Also Rewarding"

February 23, 2015

Ivan Misner

referral marketing, reward, Risk Advertising, Building Relationships, Business, Connections, Credibility, Marketing/Sales, Networking, Networking Prep, Referrals, Relationships, Risk Takiing, ROI, Word of Mouth 1

In a radio interview I once did, the host of the program asked me whether I consider referral marketing the safest form of advertising. Without the slightest hesitation, I confidently answered, “By all means, no.” Based on his response, I’m sure he was shocked by that answer.

Photo courtesy of Zuzzuillo at FreeDigtalPhotos.net

I went on to explain that I believe very strongly in the tremendous benefits that word-of –mouth marketing can bring. However, there are unique risks associated with referral advertising that are not an issue in commercial or other forms of advertising.

When you give a referral, you give a little of your reputation away. If the business you’ve referred someone to does a good job, it helps your reputation. But if it does a poor job, your reputation may be hurt.

As I said, the payoffs of referral marketing are immense—when it’s done correctly.

But referral marketing involves a really big risk: giving away a piece of your reputation every time you give a referral to someone. When you tell a valued customer that a friend of yours is going to take good care of them, you must have confidence in that friend.

But what happens if your friend lets your customer down? It comes back to haunt you. Your customer begins to lose faith in you and, because of that loss of faith, you just might lose that customer down the road. This is why it’s so important to develop strong relationships with those to whom you’re referring business and vice versa. Once those strong connections are forged you can rest easy, knowing when you tell someone a business associate or a networking partner is going to take good care of him or her, that’s what will happen.

Do you have a story others might learn from about a time when referral marketing really paid off for you, or a story about how you experienced the unique risks associated with referral marketing firsthand? Please share your experiences in the comment forum below. I’d love to hear from you–thanks!

22Jan2015

In-Person Spammingstring(18) "In-Person Spamming"

At a recent Referral Institute® conference in San Francisco, one of the organization’s top trainers, Tiffanie Kellog, took a few moments to chat with me about the concept of in-person spamming. If you’ve ever encountered people who use networking as a face-to-face cold calling opportunity, so to speak, then you’ve been the subject of in-person spamming.

Watch the video now to learn why Tiffanie sometimes compares networking to speed dating and to get our combined take on the real point of networking, where people tend to go wrong in their networking approach, and how to know when it’s appropriate or inappropriate to give another person your business card.

If you’ve had an experience with in-person spamming, please share your story in the comment forum below. Thanks!

15Jan2015

Classic Video Feature–Networking Faux Pas: Not Following Upstring(65) "Classic Video Feature–Networking Faux Pas: Not Following Up"

January 15, 2015

Ivan Misner

Classic Video, Faux Pas, Follow up, Networking Building Relationships, Business, Classic Video, Connections, Credibility, Faux Pas, Follow up, Networking, Networking Prep, Relationships, Video Blog 2

I have been doing video blogs for quite a few years now and a while back it occurred to me that some of the videos I’ve previously posted focus on timeless topics that deserve to be revisited and not buried way back in the video blog archive. For this reason, I decided to occasionally feature a “classic” video blog from my blog archive and today I am sharing the fourth one–”Networking Faux Pas: Not Following Up”

In this video, I talk about the faux pas which I see happen most out of all the faux pas which can possibly occur in the world of networking. It also happens to be the faux pas which frustrates me the most (Seriously–it drives me crazy!)–it’s when you give a networking partner a referral and they drop the ball and don’t follow up on it.

Remember, if you aren’t following up when your referral partners call you and/or aren’t following up on the referrals you’re given, you’re not just losing business . . . you’re also losing your credibility and that’s something which is extremely difficult to earn back. So, for those of us in parts of the world who are currently starting a brand new year, why not make a vow right now to make following up our number one networking priority this year? I guarantee it will pay off in big ways.

Have you had an experience where you gave a referral to someone and they didn’t follow up on it? If so, will you continue to give that person referrals? Or, have you dropped the ball on following up on a referral before? If the answer is yes, did you learn a lesson from it? Please share your experiences in the comment forum below. Thanks!

29Dec2014

Getting to the Referral Stage with a New Contactstring(48) "Getting to the Referral Stage with a New Contact"

People often ask me how to move a relationship with someone they just met to the point where the new contact feels comfortable passing them a referral.

I always say that the best way to get to this next referral-passing stage depends in part on how you came into contact with a person in the first place. Let’s say you met while giving a brief presentation to a group of people who are in your target market. Assuming you did a good job, then you absolutely have the possibility of receiving a referral, even though you just met. Why? Because the presentation moved you from visibility to credibility in the new contact’s mind and now they’re probably willing to risk their reputation and recommend you to someone they know.

Photo Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The same thing is true when you’re out networking. If you have a good conversation with someone and truly add value to the conversation, then moving from visibility to credibility isn’t that difficult, and you’ll be in great shape for getting some referral-based business. What’s more, it’s not terribly important whether the person is someone you might do business with directly. Even if your businesses don’t match up, the other person might have information that’s useful or might know other people you’d like to get in contact with. It’s often worthwhile to develop a networking relationship with people who have little in common with you because they can bring an entirely new network into contact with yours and broaden your business horizons.

Just bear in mind that even if there is a strong possibility that you’re going to do business with this new contact, it’s probably not going to happen there at the networking event, where conversations last anywhere from an eye-blink three minutes to a long-winded seven. Instant business is not likely to be had. But if you follow up with a quick note a few days later, you can make some one-to-one time and come up with ways the two of you can help each other. That meeting is where you’ll have your best opportunity for a quick referral.

What has your experience been with moving to the referral stage with new contacts–do you have a tactic that seems to be particularly effective? If so, please share it in the comments section. Thanks!

24Nov2014

6 Tips for Purchasing from Your Networkstring(39) "6 Tips for Purchasing from Your Network"

November 24, 2014

Ivan Misner

Building Relationships, Business, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Relationships 1

One of the friendliest and most natural ways to make contact with a referral source is to buy her products or services, whether in large or small dollar amounts. It’s important to note that the purchase doesn’t necessarily have to be from her primary line of business–perhaps a ticket to a fundraiser, a used car, a computer, even a box of Girl Scout cookies from her daughter.

By purchasing something from your network member/referral source, you become one of her customers. As a customer, you are high on her priority list; she will be more inclined to do business with you and give you information, support and referrals. This approach also increases your source’s interest in getting to know you and staying in touch.

Tips for purchasing from your network:

Analyze how you are spending your money now.
Decide how much you want to spend.
Test your relationship with the people you buy from now. Do they know you? Do you benefit from doing business with them?
Identify the products and services your sources offer that you want or need–or the purchase of which might benefit your business in the long run.
Are you buying products and services from people and organizations that see you as an individual? Do the people you buy from know your name and think of you as their customer? There’s a big difference between being a customer of Sears and being a customer of Joe’s Shoe Store.
Use your purchasing power in a way that gives you more benefits and builds relationships. Buy at least half of your products and services from people you know; however, don’t do it in a way that makes them feel obligated to buy things from you.

Do you have any additional tips on ways to be a good customer to those you network with? If so, I’d love to hear them so please share your tips in the comment forum below. Thanks!

20Nov2014

It Never Hurts to Ask . . . Right?string(34) "It Never Hurts to Ask . . . Right?"

How many times have we heard people say that it never hurts to ask? Surely more times than we can count.

Well, in this video, I explain why it definitely hurts to ask sometimes–especially if you ask to soon! I share a personal story of a recent time when a stranger contacted me via LinkedIn wanting to connect and accompanied the connection request with a note asking me something which I found inappropriate to the point that I decided right then that I was never even going to consider connecting with her.

Watch the video to hear the story and to find out why I flagged the woman’s LinkedIn request as problematic on three significant levels. Let me just say that this is ‘Networking 101’ and if I were her teacher, she would have gotten a failing grade–this is not the way to network! Whether you frequently participate in face-to-face networking, online networking, or both, you’ll definitely want to hear this story so you never make the three mistakes that this woman did.

I’d really love to hear your feedback on this. What are your thoughts? Also, please share any similar horror stories you may have in the comment forum below–I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks!

10Nov2014

What Does It Take to Achieve Referral Success?string(46) "What Does It Take to Achieve Referral Success?"

November 10, 2014

Ivan Misner

Referrals Marketing/Sales, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Referral Institute, Referrals, Relationships 3

A while ago, I met with my business partner in the Referral Institute, Mike Macedonio (pictured below), and as we were discussing what it really takes to drive your business by referral, one of the first things Mike mentioned was that the first core competency of referral success is the need for correct knowledge. It didn’t surprise me that Mike would start with this; after all, we co-authored Truth or Delusion–Busting Networking’s Biggest Myths which directly adresses what works and what doesn’t work in referral marketing. In the book, Mike paraphrases Mark Twain’s statement about having correct knowledge, which appropriately says something to the effect of, It’s not what you know that will stand in the way of your success as much as what you know which isn’t so.

The second core competency in successful referral marketing is to stay engaged with your referral marketing plan. This is harder than it sounds. Many referral marketing concepts are counter intuitive. It’s like telling a driver to turn into a skid. This is not the natural reaction. Even when the driver understands it’s in his best interest to turn into the skid, it’s only when he does it that he learns how it actually works.

Referral marketing is the same way. When we’re going out looking for more business, it’s natural to look for qualified prospects and approach them. However, referral marketing shows us that we will be even more effective if someone who has a credible relationship with the prospect sent them to us. We understand this is in our best interest, however it may not be our natural reaction.

So, how do you get the business owner to network in a way that may not come naturally? Some of the solutions Mike and I discussed are to:

* Stay connected to blogs and podcasts on networking
* Participate in networking groups
* Get involved in ongoing referral trainings

The first two core competencies, obtaining correct knowledge and staying engaged with your referral marketing plan, apply to any personal or professional development programs and it is important to keep in mind that though they may be “simple,” they’re not “easy.”

The third core competency, implementing a system to train your network on how to refer you business, is the missing piece that most business people do not have in place to create referral success. No matter how brilliant you are in referral marketing, or how skillful you are in “leaning into the punch,” if your referral partners are inadequate your results will be insufficient.

Mike gave a great football analogy for this. He said, “What if Tom Brady, one of the most successful quarterbacks, were to get on the field with a team that was lacking skills and knowledge of the game? Tom Brady would be throwing perfect spirals to players who can’t catch and don’t know their assignments. It wouldn’t take long for Tom to recognize that he’s better off just keeping the ball and running. This could be equated in business to direct prospecting. It is hard work for short yardage.

So, what can we learn from this? That if you make the three core competencies a priority, you will not only be on the right track for referral success, you will also be gaining much more “yardage” from your efforts!

What has your experience been and/or how do you think you can apply these ideas to your business?

6Oct2014

I Don’t Need Your Cardstring(28) "I Don’t Need Your Card"

October 6, 2014

Ivan Misner

Juan Vides, Networking Business, Connections, Conversation, Introducing Yourself, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Rant!, Relationships 16

Imagine handing your card to someone at a networking event and having it handed back to you with “I don’t need it.” Well, that’s exactly what happened to Juan Vides recently. Juan found this pretty insulting, and he wrote to me to ask how I thought someone should respond in this situation.

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First, let me talk about giving and getting business cards.

A business card is a tacit invitation to make a future connection. How you handle that connection afterward will determine how responsive your new contact will be. So be respectful with what you do after someone gives you their card.
You should always have plenty of business cards with you. It still amazes me that people go to networking events and knowingly don’t bring cards with them. I recently read a blog where many people said they didn’t bring cards so that they wouldn’t get spammed by people they meet. Really? Have they never heard of a spam filter? I use it regularly with unwanted spam. Besides, that argument is like saying I don’t want to advertise because someone might read the ad and cold call me? What kind of logic is that? Buck-up, dandelion, bring cards. It is a “networking” event!
The ideal scenario is to have a meaningful (even if brief) conversation with someone where they ask for your business card (how to do that is an entirely different blog). However, that doesn’t always happen. When it doesn’t, it is still ok to offer your business card to someone. There is nothing wrong with that.

Refusing to take someone’s offered card is just plain bad form and it’s probably too late to send them back to Mom for retraining on how to play with the other kids in the sandbox.

So what do you do if this happens to you? Pick the correct choice below:

Squash a cupcake on their nose and say “take that, you dandelion.”
Say “Really, you [bad word, bad word] dirty [bad word], I hope I never see you again at one of these events.
Let’s go outside and finish this (like someone I actually know did at a networking event!)? or
Realize that some people just have little or no people skills and move on to someone who does.

The correct answer is number four however, for the record, I kind of like number one a lot.

2Oct2014

Build Trust to Be More Effectivestring(32) "Build Trust to Be More Effective"

October 2, 2014

Ivan Misner

Charlie Lawson, Networking, Networks, Referrals, relationships BNI, Building Relationships, Connections, Credibility, Networking, Networking Prep, Networking Tactics, Relationships, Trust, Video Blog 2

In this video, I speak with Charlie Lawson, networking expert and National Director of BNI® UK & Ireland, to talk about why networking isn’t a “get rich quick” scheme and how, quite to the contrary, it involves building long-term relationships based on trust.

The thing is, networking is more about farming than hunting. In other words, instead of voraciously chasing people to gain business, you must nurture relationships in order to build trust. Trust is what makes networks work. When trust is high among members of a network, there’s a wonderful cohesiveness and capacity to help one another generate effective referrals to mutually assist each other’s business growth.

However, when trust is low and relationships are plagued by suspicion, networks collapse and no worthy referrals will be given. If someone likes and trusts you, they are much more likely to give you effective referrals which will help generate more business for you.

Essentially, you must cultivate relationships with different business professionals in order to build confidence. If confidence is gained, trust can then come into play. Once you’ve gained trust, you are more likely to generate business through those relationships.

Do you have any specifically effective ways of building trust with the professionals with whom to network? If so, please share them in the comment forum below. If not, make it your goal this week to come up with some ways to do so–you have nothing to lose and a whole lot of trusted, long-term relationships to gain!

18Sep2014

Dr. John Gray on Staying Focusedstring(32) "Dr. John Gray on Staying Focused"

September 18, 2014

Ivan Misner

John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Staying Focused, Women Are from Venus Building Relationships, Connections, Focus, Health, Relationships, Video Blog 3

At a recent TLC (Transformational Leadership Council) conference, I had the opportunity to talk to my good friend Dr. John Gray about his new book, Staying Focused in a Hyper World.

John, whom you may very well know as the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease some years ago and he embarked on a mission to treat it through natural solutions. During this time, he discovered he had ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and, quite interestingly, he was able to counteract that through natural means without the use of harmful, side-effect-inducing drugs.

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