Legacy is About the Presentstring(27) "Legacy is About the Present"

February 20, 2023
, , BNI, Legacy, Referrals, Success 5

As the founder of BNI®, I have spent years helping business owners build successful networks through referrals. But as I have grown older, I have come to realize that my true legacy is not in the success of my business, but in the impact that I have made on others. In order to leave a lasting legacy, it is essential to look forward and not backwards. Our windshield is larger than our rearview mirror for a reason. It’s important to recognize what is behind us; however, what is most important is what lies ahead of us.

When we look backward, we become trapped in our past successes and failures. We may be proud of what we have accomplished, but we may also be haunted by the mistakes we have made. We may be tempted to rest on our laurels and feel that we have already made our mark on the world. However, this kind of thinking can be misleading, as it can prevent us from moving forward and making even greater contributions.

Instead, we should focus on the present and the future. We should think about what we can do to make a positive impact on others right now and in the years to come. This means investing our time and resources in projects and initiatives that have the potential to change people’s lives for the better. We should seek out opportunities to mentor and inspire others, to give back to our communities, and to contribute to causes that we are passionate about.  We all have people who are in our story – people who have changed our lives. And yet, the most important thing in leaving a legacy in the world is – whose story are we in?  Whose life have we changed for the better?

When we take this approach, we can be confident that our legacy will be one of positive change and impact. We will be remembered not just for what we have accomplished, but for the lives we touched and the people we inspired. We will be remembered as leaders, visionaries, and advocates for change.

Of course, looking forward does not mean that we should forget about the past entirely. We can learn valuable lessons from our experiences, both good and bad, and use those lessons to guide our future actions. But we should not allow our past to define us or limit our potential. Instead, we should use it as a springboard to even greater achievements.

Legacy is not just about what we have done, but what we will do in the future. We should look forward with optimism and a commitment to making a positive impact on the world. By doing so, we can leave a lasting legacy that inspires others and makes the world a better place.

The Carbon Almanacstring(18) "The Carbon Almanac"

February 9, 2023
BNI, Game Theory, Networking 2

My friend, well-known author Seth Godin, has come out with a new book called “The Carbon Almanac: It’s Not Too Late”. The section on Game Theory also relates to networking very effectively. I recommend his book. This is an excerpt from the book.

Game Theory

Game theory is the study of how people or organi­zations interact with each other in a situation where there are limited resources, desired outcomes, and a finite amount of time—which precisely describes the challenges of climate. What rules would have to be in place for countries to ‘play a game’ that would lead to a worldwide reduction in emissions? Why wouldn’t wealthy, oil-rich countries cheat by free-riding when others are scaling back?

This is a version of the tragedy of the commons. If no one has an incentive to hold back, won’t everyone graze their livestock until nothing is left?

Game theory tries to solve this challenge. The problem with reciprocity is that the countries that emit the most have the least need for reciprocal behavior by others as they are the wealthiest.

Climate degradation begins when someone dumps waste or burns fuel because it costs less than doing the resilient thing instead. Degradation can be avoided when all neighbors enjoy the same incentives. The three remedies are:

  •                  Rewarding cooperation and reciprocity
  •                  Limiting the temptation to free ride
  •                  Punishing free-riders

If members of a group or different countries work together, systems can be built that lead to mutual rewards. When a marketplace is created where the invisible rules reward people for acting with the long-term in mind, that’s what people and organizations are more likely to do. It turns out that social norms, pricing real costs into the system, and other interventions can change how organizations and countries behave.

Game theory therefore explains why some nations emit and avoid cleaning up—they get the benefits of cheap fuel while others pay for it with a changing climate and pollution.

Social norms have long changed the way organiza­tions behave because they amplify beneficial long-term behaviors. The choices made by consumers and our responses to actions by producers can rewrite the rules that industries play by. Combined with fees and dividends related to carbon emission and capture, this can lead to a ‘game’ that the players win by cleaning up the mess that the last game created.

 

 

 

The book is available on amazon and select online retailers.

More information is available at https://thecarbonalmanac.org/

Welcome to International Networking Week 2023string(45) "Welcome to International Networking Week 2023"

February 6, 2023
, BNI, International Networking Week, Networking

In 2007 I helped BNI® launch an initiative called International Networking Week® which is held during the first week of February every year.

International Networking Week began as a way to help business leaders around the world connect with each other and build their networking skills together. The goal is to recognize the power of networking and celebrate its key role in the development and success of businesses across the world.

It is about creating an awareness relating to the process of networking. Not just any kind of networking, but what I call “relationship networking,” an approach to doing business based on building long-term, successful, and mutually beneficial relationships with people through the networking process.

For the past 38 years, BNI has provided a weekly networking platform for members. The process is effective because people focus on helping others, and they educate fellow members on their own target market each week. There is mutual accountability in chapters, and we use technology to help members track their referrals and the results of their networking efforts. The meeting agenda is consistent in all 10,900+ chapters around the world.

My First BNI Meeting in a Different Language

I will always remember the first time I saw a BNI meeting room where everything was printed in a different language. It was in Sweden. Keep in mind, my native language is English. Swedish is not a language like French, where many people know a little bit of French. It’s not like Spanish, either. I grew up in Southern California, and you can’t grow up there without knowing a little Spanish. The fact is that Swedish is Swedish. You probably don’t understand a single word unless you know the language.

I was listening to the entire BNI chapter meeting in Swedish and one of the members leaned over to me and said in English, “You have no idea what he’s talking about, do you?”  I replied, “Yeah. He is introducing the referral part of the meeting and he’s explaining how the referral works and if you don’t have a referral, you give a testimonial.” The man looked surprised and said, “Wow, you know Swedish!” I said, “No, I wrote the agenda.”

That’s the great thing about BNI. You can go to BNI meetings anywhere in the world, without knowing the local language, and still know exactly what is happening and what’s going on, because the BNI meetings operate very much the same all over the world. I think one of the beautiful things about the organization is that it’s all based on trust and building relationships, and that transcends many cultural differences.

How to Be Part of International Networking Week

Everyone is invited to take part in local and global events happening this week. You can participate in Speed Networking with business people from around the world.

I also invite you to be part of the Referrals for Life® webinar that is open to everyone. I’ll be one of the speakers, talking about the relevance of networking in today’s business landscape. Learn more and register at www.internationalnetworkingweek.com.

If you are a BNI member or part of a networking group, introduce new people to your group. When you bring a visitor to your regular networking meeting or a special event, make sure you introduce them to the rest of the group to help them feel welcome and to meet other attendees.

If you are new to networking and want to visit a BNI chapter, you can do so in-person or online. Go to www.bni.com and click on the Find a Chapter button to locate a meeting in your area.

 

I believe that networking is not only a great way to get business, it is a great way to DO business. International Networking Week celebrates relationship networking which is about creating long-term relationships to build your business.

I’d love to hear about your networking activities this week. Share your experiences in the comment section.

Networking at Non-Networking Eventsstring(35) "Networking at Non-Networking Events"

February 2, 2023
, , BNI, Credibility, Profitability, Relationships, Visibility 4

Do you know that you can network anywhere? Networking at non-traditional networking settings can be very beneficial. One reason is because not very many people think of it. You typically have the field to yourself, with many opportunities to develop strong and lasting relationships with potential referral partners.

Start with Person-to-Person

One type of a non-traditional networking setting is a party. Everyone goes to different types of parties throughout the year; holiday parties and other social mixers bring ample opportunities to network.

Some people consider this a strange idea as they think of a boorish person selling time-shares to their aunt and uncle at their grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary or someone trying to drum up business at a funeral. But networking is not just trying to sell something, nor is it only about passing business referrals.

It is about building meaningful relationships and social capital. Master networkers understand this, which is why they are always networking.

It’s All About Relationships

Think about it – you’re already in a relationship with everybody you know. The question is: how far along has that relationship developed? Looking at it within the VCP Process® we can ask ourselves these questions.

Is it a relationship of visibility, in which you know each other but haven’t had any  business dealings?

Is it in the credibility stage, in which you’ve interacted with each other enough that a degree of mutual trust has been established?

Or has it deepened over time to the point of profitability, where both parties receive mutual benefits as a result of assistance, business referrals, or other interactions?

Nowadays, it’s easy to lose that personal touch when so much of our communication is done electronically through email and text. Yet the fact is most relationships develop through one-to-one interactions, and they get stronger every time we meet face to face. Parties and other non-networking events are when we are more likely to see people in a social setting, and these settings certainly lend them self to building relationships.

However, there are important things to remember when you’re networking at any event.

Ask Others, “How Can I Help?”

Having a Givers Gain® attitude is the number one rule to remember. We should always be thinking: How can I help this person?  Many of us know this and attempt to apply it to our relationships, yet we are more inclined to do it instinctively with those people with whom we are in the profitability category. How can we apply it to the relationships that are in the visibility and credibility categories?

At a social event, we usually ask somebody, “How’s it going?” What is their typical reply? Something like, “Great, things couldn’t be better.” That’s an automatic response that people give because they want to be polite and because they think that nobody really wants to hear their troubles. But that standard answer they give is not usually the whole truth.

Things can always be better. There are surely ways you can help—however, most people are not inclined to go into detail or let others know what’s going on, especially at a social event. The best way to find out is to avoid generalities like “How are things?” and ask more specific questions.

One time when I was having a conversation with someone, I asked them how things were going and got the standard answer that things were great, the company was expanding, and business was better than expected. My next question was “Are you hitting all of your goals?” Their answer: Yes, the business was exceeding all its goals by a large margin.

Sounds like this person didn’t need any help, right? On the contrary: to me it sounded like a big opportunity. Think about it, here was a company that was expanding faster than the owner projected. What kind of help might it need?

Many consider networking just another way to get clients, but when you think in terms of building relationships, a chance to help is a BIG opportunity. That help can be provided in many different forms, each as valuable as the next.

In this case I was able to make some introductions that the individual was very grateful for. But it was only after getting past the generalities that I was able to figure out their specific needs.

Be Sincere

When you are networking successfully at a non-networking event, people won’t even know it. That’s because you are genuinely looking for ways that you can help others, and your concern for the person you’re talking with is apparent. People who are networking exclusively for their own personal gain come across as shallow and insincere.

A good networker doesn’t have to attempt sincerity. They really care about making connections for others, not just for themselves. Some people are so accomplished and successful at networking that they are able to network virtually anywhere. They find that people are receptive to them using an opportunity to share information that will benefit others, even when that exchange takes the form of a business card at a cultural celebration.

Honor the Event

This one should really be a no-brainer, and yet we all know some overzealous business people who trawl the room at a party in pursuit of a sale, any sale. They may do the same, although less blatantly, at family gatherings and other social events. This is the exact opposite of what business networking is all about. Remember, relationships are the name of the game. Social events are a great place to get visibility and credibility, so focus on building those aspects of relationships.

Your networking must be different in a chamber of commerce meeting compared to a social event. In both cases you want to be making contacts, connecting people with each other, helping others, and building relationships. You should NOT be actively promoting your business at a non-business event. Honor the event and tailor your networking strategies so that you fit in without being tuned out.

Networking is a Lifestyle

Networking is a lifestyle that can be incorporated into everything that you do. Since one should always be working on building meaningful relationships with other people, they should always be networking. However, that doesn’t mean one should always be trying to “sell” something to somebody, because that rarely facilitates the development of meaningful relationships.

 

Remember, business networking means developing relationships, and ALL events, including social gatherings, family get-togethers, and holiday parties are filled with opportunities to help others. And helping others provides the opportunity to build and strengthen relationships.

Do you have a success story about networking at a non-networking event?
I’d like to hear about it in the comments section.

The Concierge Concept – “Who’s In Your Room?”string(57) "The Concierge Concept – “Who’s In Your Room?”"

January 30, 2023
, BNI, Concierge, Establishing 2

 There is a new concept in the recently released Second Edition of “Who’s In Your Room?” and it’s called The Concierge. 

The premise of the book Who’s In Your Room? is:
Imagine that you live your entire life in one room that only has ONE door – an Enter Only door. There is no exit. Inside the room are all the people with whom you have ever had a relationship. You can create your own mental Doorkeeper based on your personal values to help you determine who gets to come into your room and therefore into your life.

However, many people have asked, “What about the people who are already in our room?”

My friend and co-author, Stewart Emery, joins me to talk about the importance of The Concierge concept in this video.

Along with your Doorkeeper, your Concierge becomes the other important person in your room. They work on your behalf, bringing people closer or keeping them further away. They direct the people in your life to their proper place in the room and help make sure everyone stays where they belong.

 

I invite you to learn more about establishing your own Concierge to help you create the room, and the life, of your dreams. The Second Edition of “Who’s In Your Room?” is available here: https://amzn.to/3kIGZFy

“Who’s In Your Room?” Second Editionstring(42) "“Who’s In Your Room?” Second Edition"

January 26, 2023
BNI, Book, Integrated

The revised and updated Second Edition of my book Who’s In Your Room? is released! I’m excited about this version because we’ve tripled the content in the book and included many stories about how people have integrated the concepts from the book into their lives.

I joined my good friend and co-author, Stewart Emery, to make the announcement in this short video.

The Second Edition of “Who’s In Your Room?” also has practical exercises that you can implement to create the room of your dreams… the LIFE of your dreams.

 

The book is available in three formats, paperback, e-book download, and audiobook, all at this link: https://amzn.to/3kIGZFy 
I invite you to get your copy and share your thoughts.

Ten Tips for Success at a Networking Mixerstring(42) "Ten Tips for Success at a Networking Mixer"

January 23, 2023
, BNI, Networking, Success, Tips 9
Some people get nervous about attending a business networking function. They may be uncomfortable meeting new people, or they don’t know where to begin when they walk into the event. Others feel that they just don’t get anything out of their networking efforts. I’ve taken my years of experience and compiled this list of ten tips to help you successfully network your way through your next mixer.

Read More

Build Your Credibility by Invitingstring(34) "Build Your Credibility by Inviting"

January 19, 2023
BNI, Referrals, Relationships 10

Here is an idea to enhance your contact with prospective referral sources and build your credibility with them:
Invite those potential referral partners to an event that you are attending, hosting or participating in, either as a featured guest, a panel speaker, award recipient, or as an exhibitor.

I think you are missing out on a great opportunity to keep prospective referral sources informed of the activities you’re involved in if you’re not inviting them to the events. Especially if it is an event where you will be sharing your expertise or where you are being recognized for an achievement, this strategy contributes to building your credibility and your image as a successful and knowledgeable professional. This is also a great way to connect possible referral partners with other people in your network, helping to transform strictly business relationships into friendships.

Why Credibility is Important

A key concept in referral marketing is mutually beneficial relationships, and those types of relationships don’t just happen overnight. They must be cultivated and nurtured. As they grow and develop, all relationships evolve through three phases: Visibility, Credibility, and Profitability. This is the VCP Process®. It is a useful tool to assess the status of a business relationship and determine where that relationship is in the process of getting referrals. 

Visibility is the phase where people know who you are and what you do.
Credibility is the phase where people know who you are, what you do, AND they know you’re good at it.
Profitability is the phase where people know who you are and what you do. They know you’re good at it, AND they are willing to refer business to you on an ongoing, reciprocal basis.

As you can see, credibility is needed to be able to reach profitability in your business relationships.

Tips to Help You Get Started

If you want to begin inviting prospective referral sources to events and you’re unsure whom to invite or how to invite them, here are some tips to get started:

  • Make a list of the events you’ll be attending in the next two months.
  • Make a list of people you may want to invite to each of those events.
  • Consider what benefits your prospective guests will receive from attending – perhaps an opportunity to meet someone they admire, to be entertained, or to be recognized.
  • Call or write to each person with an invitation to the event.
       > Explain the reason for the invitation (you’re speaking or receiving an award).
       > Send the invitation with plenty of lead time, at least ten days before the date.
  • Follow up with a call a few days before the event to confirm if they are attending.
  • Pay your guest’s admission fee for the event if there is one.
  • When the event allows, encourage your guests to invite guests of their own.
  • It is okay to invite some people whom you do not expect to attend. Remember, this is a way to keep your referral sources informed of what you are doing.

Make it your goal to invite someone to each event that you plan to attend. It is a good way to strengthen relationships and build your credibility. You may even find that you enjoy the event more by having a guest there with you.

Tips to Remember People’s Namesstring(33) "Tips to Remember People’s Names"

January 16, 2023
, BNI, Repetition, Tips 8

To be a successful networker, it is important to remember the basics of interpersonal communication:
– make and maintain eye contact
– listen more than you speak
– remember people’s names

I’m sure we all agree that remembering someone’s name is high on the list of mannerisms that will impress others at business networking events. It shows that you pay attention to detail, that you are a good listener, and that you are interested in the person, not just their business.

However, it can be challenging to remember names, especially if you are an avid networker who attends many different events. Well, I’ve got good news. Many years ago, I learned about a four-step process to help with the name challenge that really does work.

  1. REPETITION is key. When you are first introduced to someone, ask them for their business card and then take a moment to carefully read it. Read their name on the card and ask them to repeat it; this helps you connect the face with the name.
    “Hi! It’s great to meet you, Jamison Smith. It is pronounced Jamison, yes?”
  2. Use their name in conversation. At the beginning of a conversation with them, listen to what they are saying and then respond by using their name.
    “Wow, Jamison, that sounds like an amazing opportunity! I’d love to meet for lunch and talk with you more.”
  3. Connect them with other people and say their name. Master networkers know that when you are at a business networking event, it is important to connect people with others in your network.
    When you are introducing two people, use their names when they first meet.
    “Sara, I’d like you to meet Jamison. Jamison is a realtor who recently got a big contract with the city. I think the two of you may have a lot to talk about.”
  4. Dedicate it to memory. When you are back home or at the office after the event, review the business card and try to remember what that person looked like and what they were saying and doing. You may want to send a quick “nice to meet you” text or email to help you remember the conversation you had with them.

These tips are very effective to help us better remember people we meet during our business networking activities. 

And yet, sometimes it happens – we meet someone and don’t remember them. Or we can’t recall their name or how we first met them. I have observed this happen many times during networking events and I have seen the different ways that people have dealt with not recognizing someone. Some people ‘fake it’ by engaging in a conversation and hoping that they get a clue about who they are talking to. They try to remember where the person is from or how they know them. Others come right out and say, “I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.” or “I’m sorry, where do I know you from?”

What NOT To Do

If it happens to you, I recommend that you avoid saying, “I’m sorry, I forgot your name.” or “I don’t remember where you’re from.”  I have found that people take it rather personally when you don’t remember them. They might begin to avoid you because you did not recognize them earlier.

Finally, you certainly do not want to say, “Nice to meet you”. Even if you do not remember previously meeting the person, they clearly know you, so it is highly unlikely that you are meeting them for the first time. Nobody wants to be forgotten and it can be hard to build a strong relationship on that type of beginning.

What TO Do

When you forget someone’s name, I recommend that you say “Hi, good to see you.” and then start a simple conversation related to the event you are attending to help you remember them. Starting a dialogue is an effective way to shake up the gray matter in your head to try to remember who they are. If, after conversing for a while, you still are unable to remember, it’s time to stop trying and just move along. Before exiting the conversation, you can say, “It was nice to see you. I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you again next time”.

And my final tip: If you have a name badge, wear it when you attend all business, professional, and networking events. This is a way to help the people you meet easily remember your name. And it is very helpful for others who may be having a temporary challenge remembering YOU.

 

What are some of your tips to help remember names? Have you had an experience with forgetting, or being forgotten by, someone you previously met? I’d like to hear about it in the comment section.

How to Communicate Effectively When Networkingstring(46) "How to Communicate Effectively When Networking"

January 12, 2023
, BNI, Generalities., Networking, Practice

Effective communication can be challenging. If it were easy, there would be no need for books, training programs, or research on the subject. There would also be far fewer divorces–and wars. And yet, communication is vital in business networking.  Your success in marketing your business and yourself rests mostly on your skills as a communicator. The clearer and more concise you make your message, the more easily it is passed on by your referral partners.

Three Common Ways That People Miscommunicate

  1.  They talk too much.
  2.  They use industry jargon.
  3.  They speak in generalities.

Any one of these mistakes can cause your message to be misheard, lost, or ignored. Even worse, these mistakes can create confusion or misinformation, and may possibly turn people against you, causing greater harm than if you had not tried to communicate at all. 

  1. The easiest way to avoid talking too much is to listen more. Of course you want to be polite and answer questions that people ask you. However, sometimes we get carried away and continue talking about ourselves long after we answered the original question. Be sure that you reciprocate and ask the same, or a similarly relevant, question to them.
    And then…. BE QUIET.
    When you ask someone a question, be respectful and give the courtesy of listening to what they have to say in reply.
    Remember, a master networker has two ears and one mouth, and they use them proportionally.
  2. You must eliminate industry jargon from your vocabulary in a networking situation unless you are speaking with someone in the same line of work as yours. It is best to simplify your message so the average person can relate to what you are saying.
    Here are some examples of possible responses when someone asks, “What do you do for a living?”
    • Rather than saying, “I do IT consulting and system hard drive analysis,” you can say, “I troubleshoot and tune up computers to keep them free of problems.” Most people easily relate to computers that are problem-free, while terms such as  “IT consulting” and “hard drive analysis” can be confusing.
    • Instead of saying, “I’m a marketing consultant,” consider saying, “I help businesses become known in the community.”

Did you notice how the industry jargon is eliminated and then replaced with a benefit statement in these examples? We went from industry-specific, feature-related terms and changed the responses to less-specific, benefit-related terms.

  1. In business networking, it is also important to make sure that you don’t speak in terms that are too general. General requests are hard for people to fulfill because they don’t bring a specific person or situation to their mind.

    If you were to ask a realtor what kind of prospect they want to meet and they say, “Anybody who wants to sell a home,” it is very unlikely that you will immediately think of someone who “wants to sell a home.” If you do know someone who is putting their house on the market, they are probably already working with a real estate agent. However, if the realtor says, “I would like to meet empty-nesters who are looking to downsize,” you immediately think of two or three couples whose last child has moved out. This answer from the realtor is more specific, which helps you think of homeowners who may be starting to consider moving to a smaller house.I know it may seem odd but the more specific you are, the wider the door opens in the listener’s mind. To network your business effectively, think of yourself as a profiler. The more accurately you profile and identify your preferred client, and the more specific your message about your target market, the better the referrals you will receive. Being specific is also very helpful when you ask someone to help you. If you would like a personal introduction to the CEO of the ABC Company, be specific when you ask one of your referral partners to introduce you. “Juan, could you arrange a one-hour lunch meeting for the two of us and Mary Sinclair, the CEO of ABC Company? She’s someone I would really like to meet, and because you know both of us so well, it would be great to have you there.” This request is specific and it gives Juan the details he needs to successfully complete the task and arrange the meeting.

Tips to Help Your Message

A great way to help you get comfortable communicating your simple and specific message is to practice delivering it. 
This is the most-asked question at networking events: “What do you do for a living?” 
This week, practice your response to this question, and time yourself, honing it until you can answer it clearly and concisely in one minute. It is important to keep in mind that the question is what do you do for a living, not how you do it. 

Another good way to craft an effective message is to identify ten jargon words that you have used in networking situations.
I suggest that you make a list with two columns–title the first column “Jargon Words or Phrases” and name the second column “Saying the Same Thing in Layperson’s Terms.”  Then figure out a way to replace the jargon word with one that is easily understood by the average person.

A third thing you can do to practice your message is to write out a referral request before presenting it to the people in your networking group. Make the request specific by using the name, company, and description (profile) of the person you would like to be referred to. Create a clear image of what your fellow members should look for and describe what you want them to do on your behalf. As an experiment, you can show your written request to someone close to you and ask them if it is clear, concise, and specific. Incorporate their feedback before sharing the request at your networking meeting.

 

You have to be specific when you talk about what you do, using easy-to-understand language. Effective communication is imperative to get referrals from your business networking efforts. Your networking partners must understand what you do in a way that helps them identify potential referrals for you and also helps them easily connect those people to you.

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