I was a Lollipop Entrepreneurstring(29) "I was a Lollipop Entrepreneur"

It is extremely valuable to understand your behavioral style and how it relates to your business networking.  Most importantly, learning how to identify behavioral styles in others, and then learning how to adapt your own approach to those different styles, can make a significant difference in your referability.

I wrote about this in my book, “Room Full of Referrals,” with co-authors Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dawn Lyons. All customers and all networkers prefer communication in a manner that is most familiar to them. Knowing their personal style can help you customize an effective sales or networking approach for each unique individual.

Dr. Tony Alessandra calls this The Platinum Rule – the idea of treating people the way they want to be treated.

The Four Common Behavioral Styles

  • Go-Getter: Fast-paced, task-oriented, & doesn’t like to be wrong about anything.
                      Driven, Bold, Decisive, Strong Desire to Lead
  • Promoter: Fast-paced, people-oriented, gregarious, likes to be in the spotlight.     
                      Energetic, Outgoing, Fun-Loving, Positive, Talkative
  • Nurturer: Slower-paced, people-oriented, dislikes confrontation, & helps others.
                      Patient, Helpful, Understanding, Reserved
  • Examiner: Slower-paced, task-oriented, methodical, likes facts, & dislikes hype.
                      Effective, Efficient, Thorough, Research-Oriented

A key point to remember is that we are all a blend of the four styles with different intensity levels of each.

My Style

Oftentimes your behavioral style can be observed at a fairly young age.  When I was 11 years old, I missed the bus going to school one day. The school was about two miles away and I had plenty of time, so I started walking.

Along the way I passed a fuel station with a small store attached to it. My eye caught some awesome looking lollipops – big, red, strawberry-flavored suckers. They only cost a nickel (five pennies) so I bought four or five of them and continued on to school. When I got there, a friend saw what I had and asked me if he could buy one. I said sure he could – for a dime (ten pennies). He bought it right away! That day I sold all the lollipops except for the one that I kept for myself . . . and I saw a great business opportunity.

The next day I decided to walk to school again, and this time I bought a dozen lollipops at the store. I sold them all before school was done for the day. I did this the next day, and the next… for almost a month. I was very happy with my margin and the money that I saw growing from my lollipop enterprise.

That was my first experience in business, and it was obvious from that early time in my life that I was a “Go-Getter” behavioral style. 

The end of the story had another lesson in store.  After a month of great sales, the Principal called me into his office and told me I couldn’t sell candy to students on campus.  I asked him why and he said it was a school policy.  Then I asked him why it was OK to sell candy bars for the school fundraiser on campus but not sell other candy for any other reason.  He basically told me that was the policy and I could follow it or be suspended.  Thus, the last lesson I learned was about government regulation.  The next business I started was NOT on campus.

 

Do you recall your first business experience? How has your own behavioral style helped or hurt your networking and referral marketing efforts?  I’d love to hear your story.

Practice EFFECTIVE Networking Skillsstring(36) "Practice EFFECTIVE Networking Skills"

It seems that some people do better than others in life. Is it because they are lucky?
No, I think it’s because the harder you work, the luckier you get. And I believe that perfect practice makes perfect.

A friend of mine once told me about the time she went to a friend’s house for lunch. Her friend was a concert pianist, and after lunch, he said to her, “I hope you don’t mind, but this is my practice time. You are more than welcome to stay and listen if you’d like.” She emphatically replied, “Of course, I would love to.”

People pay big money to watch this man play the piano, and she got a private concert. She told me, “I had this vision that I would be listening to him play scales, or maybe something that was not finished. But while I listened, my gosh, it was incredible! It was so beautiful, Ivan. I sat there while he played, and tears came to my eyes just listening to him practice. After he finished, I said to him, “my goodness, that’s the way you practice?”  I was expecting something completely different, but this was like a concert. He replied, “Practice doesn’t make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect. Every time I practice, I practice as though I’m in concert. That’s the only way I can improve my music.”

This story reminds me that practicing the skills necessary to become a successful networker is important, however, businesspeople can’t expect to become master networkers by simply going through the motions.

Avoid “Lousy” Practice

Having meaningful conversations with potential referral partners at networking events is a necessary skill for business networking success. And yet many professionals attend an event with ONE goal: giving their business cards to as many new contacts as they can meet before it’s over. Or worse yet, they confuse networking with direct selling and use the gathering as a face-to-face cold calling opportunity.

Yes, they could say that they were practicing having “conversations” with new people.

Consider this – I once heard a music teacher tell their students, “Lousy practice makes a lousy musician.” The same is true for business networking. You can practice day in and day out networking the wrong way, and what are the results? You’ll get really good at networking incorrectly and ineffectively. 

Networking Skills to Practice

I offer these suggestions when you’re ready to practice effective networking skills.

  1. Always maintain a positive attitude. This includes the way you present yourself to other people. Everyone likes to do business with an enthusiastic optimist. Avoid complaining and don’t participate in gossip.
  2. Ask questions. When you meet someone new, ask about their business, why they love what they do, who their target market is. Then LISTEN to what they say.
  3. Maintain eye contact. Stay fully engaged in the conversation you’re having with someone. This shows your genuine interest in them.
  4. Help other people. A passion for helping others is an unbeatable complement to a hard and focused business drive. Follow the philosophy of Givers Gain®.
  5. Be trustworthy. Do what you say you are going to do. Every. Time. It is much harder to regain trust after it is lost.
  6. Follow up on referrals. ALL of them. Then update the person who gave it to you. If you don’t follow up on the referrals you get from others, you are losing potential business AND you are also losing the trust of those who referred you.
  7. Thank people. Express your appreciation to those who help you. This sounds so simple and obvious, yet an attitude of gratitude is a crucial networking skill.


All of these skills are part of the main purpose of business networking – long-term relationship building.

Master networkers know that the key to networking success is to build mutually beneficial business relationships with other professionals over time. You can do this by practicing effective networking skills at every opportunity you have to do so.

 

 

 

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Unforgettable Presentationsstring(27) "Unforgettable Presentations"

My friend Eric Edmeades is the leading authority on Behavioral Change Dynamics, the art of creating genuinely transformational programs and experiences. Recently, we were both at the Transformational Leadership Council where he did a presentation that I loved. I had the opportunity to ask him about his new book, “Unforgettable,” coming out later this year.

I invite you to learn more in this short video. 

Legacy is About the Presentstring(27) "Legacy is About the Present"

As the founder of BNI®, I have spent years helping business owners build successful networks through referrals. But as I have grown older, I have come to realize that my true legacy is not in the success of my business, but in the impact that I have made on others. In order to leave a lasting legacy, it is essential to look forward and not backwards. Our windshield is larger than our rearview mirror for a reason. It’s important to recognize what is behind us; however, what is most important is what lies ahead of us.

When we look backward, we become trapped in our past successes and failures. We may be proud of what we have accomplished, but we may also be haunted by the mistakes we have made. We may be tempted to rest on our laurels and feel that we have already made our mark on the world. However, this kind of thinking can be misleading, as it can prevent us from moving forward and making even greater contributions.

Instead, we should focus on the present and the future. We should think about what we can do to make a positive impact on others right now and in the years to come. This means investing our time and resources in projects and initiatives that have the potential to change people’s lives for the better. We should seek out opportunities to mentor and inspire others, to give back to our communities, and to contribute to causes that we are passionate about.  We all have people who are in our story – people who have changed our lives. And yet, the most important thing in leaving a legacy in the world is – whose story are we in?  Whose life have we changed for the better?

When we take this approach, we can be confident that our legacy will be one of positive change and impact. We will be remembered not just for what we have accomplished, but for the lives we touched and the people we inspired. We will be remembered as leaders, visionaries, and advocates for change.

Of course, looking forward does not mean that we should forget about the past entirely. We can learn valuable lessons from our experiences, both good and bad, and use those lessons to guide our future actions. But we should not allow our past to define us or limit our potential. Instead, we should use it as a springboard to even greater achievements.

Legacy is not just about what we have done, but what we will do in the future. We should look forward with optimism and a commitment to making a positive impact on the world. By doing so, we can leave a lasting legacy that inspires others and makes the world a better place.

The Carbon Almanacstring(18) "The Carbon Almanac"

My friend, well-known author Seth Godin, has come out with a new book called “The Carbon Almanac: It’s Not Too Late”. The section on Game Theory also relates to networking very effectively. I recommend his book. This is an excerpt from the book.

Game Theory

Game theory is the study of how people or organi­zations interact with each other in a situation where there are limited resources, desired outcomes, and a finite amount of time—which precisely describes the challenges of climate. What rules would have to be in place for countries to ‘play a game’ that would lead to a worldwide reduction in emissions? Why wouldn’t wealthy, oil-rich countries cheat by free-riding when others are scaling back?

This is a version of the tragedy of the commons. If no one has an incentive to hold back, won’t everyone graze their livestock until nothing is left?

Game theory tries to solve this challenge. The problem with reciprocity is that the countries that emit the most have the least need for reciprocal behavior by others as they are the wealthiest.

Climate degradation begins when someone dumps waste or burns fuel because it costs less than doing the resilient thing instead. Degradation can be avoided when all neighbors enjoy the same incentives. The three remedies are:

  •                  Rewarding cooperation and reciprocity
  •                  Limiting the temptation to free ride
  •                  Punishing free-riders

If members of a group or different countries work together, systems can be built that lead to mutual rewards. When a marketplace is created where the invisible rules reward people for acting with the long-term in mind, that’s what people and organizations are more likely to do. It turns out that social norms, pricing real costs into the system, and other interventions can change how organizations and countries behave.

Game theory therefore explains why some nations emit and avoid cleaning up—they get the benefits of cheap fuel while others pay for it with a changing climate and pollution.

Social norms have long changed the way organiza­tions behave because they amplify beneficial long-term behaviors. The choices made by consumers and our responses to actions by producers can rewrite the rules that industries play by. Combined with fees and dividends related to carbon emission and capture, this can lead to a ‘game’ that the players win by cleaning up the mess that the last game created.

 

 

 

The book is available on amazon and select online retailers.

More information is available at https://thecarbonalmanac.org/

Welcome to International Networking Week 2023string(45) "Welcome to International Networking Week 2023"

In 2007 I helped BNI® launch an initiative called International Networking Week® which is held during the first week of February every year.

International Networking Week began as a way to help business leaders around the world connect with each other and build their networking skills together. The goal is to recognize the power of networking and celebrate its key role in the development and success of businesses across the world.

It is about creating an awareness relating to the process of networking. Not just any kind of networking, but what I call “relationship networking,” an approach to doing business based on building long-term, successful, and mutually beneficial relationships with people through the networking process.

For the past 38 years, BNI has provided a weekly networking platform for members. The process is effective because people focus on helping others, and they educate fellow members on their own target market each week. There is mutual accountability in chapters, and we use technology to help members track their referrals and the results of their networking efforts. The meeting agenda is consistent in all 10,900+ chapters around the world.

My First BNI Meeting in a Different Language

I will always remember the first time I saw a BNI meeting room where everything was printed in a different language. It was in Sweden. Keep in mind, my native language is English. Swedish is not a language like French, where many people know a little bit of French. It’s not like Spanish, either. I grew up in Southern California, and you can’t grow up there without knowing a little Spanish. The fact is that Swedish is Swedish. You probably don’t understand a single word unless you know the language.

I was listening to the entire BNI chapter meeting in Swedish and one of the members leaned over to me and said in English, “You have no idea what he’s talking about, do you?”  I replied, “Yeah. He is introducing the referral part of the meeting and he’s explaining how the referral works and if you don’t have a referral, you give a testimonial.” The man looked surprised and said, “Wow, you know Swedish!” I said, “No, I wrote the agenda.”

That’s the great thing about BNI. You can go to BNI meetings anywhere in the world, without knowing the local language, and still know exactly what is happening and what’s going on, because the BNI meetings operate very much the same all over the world. I think one of the beautiful things about the organization is that it’s all based on trust and building relationships, and that transcends many cultural differences.

How to Be Part of International Networking Week

Everyone is invited to take part in local and global events happening this week. You can participate in Speed Networking with business people from around the world.

I also invite you to be part of the Referrals for Life® webinar that is open to everyone. I’ll be one of the speakers, talking about the relevance of networking in today’s business landscape. Learn more and register at www.internationalnetworkingweek.com.

If you are a BNI member or part of a networking group, introduce new people to your group. When you bring a visitor to your regular networking meeting or a special event, make sure you introduce them to the rest of the group to help them feel welcome and to meet other attendees.

If you are new to networking and want to visit a BNI chapter, you can do so in-person or online. Go to www.bni.com and click on the Find a Chapter button to locate a meeting in your area.

 

I believe that networking is not only a great way to get business, it is a great way to DO business. International Networking Week celebrates relationship networking which is about creating long-term relationships to build your business.

I’d love to hear about your networking activities this week. Share your experiences in the comment section.

Networking at Non-Networking Eventsstring(35) "Networking at Non-Networking Events"

Do you know that you can network anywhere? Networking at non-traditional networking settings can be very beneficial. One reason is because not very many people think of it. You typically have the field to yourself, with many opportunities to develop strong and lasting relationships with potential referral partners.

Start with Person-to-Person

One type of a non-traditional networking setting is a party. Everyone goes to different types of parties throughout the year; holiday parties and other social mixers bring ample opportunities to network.

Some people consider this a strange idea as they think of a boorish person selling time-shares to their aunt and uncle at their grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary or someone trying to drum up business at a funeral. But networking is not just trying to sell something, nor is it only about passing business referrals.

It is about building meaningful relationships and social capital. Master networkers understand this, which is why they are always networking.

It’s All About Relationships

Think about it – you’re already in a relationship with everybody you know. The question is: how far along has that relationship developed? Looking at it within the VCP Process® we can ask ourselves these questions.

Is it a relationship of visibility, in which you know each other but haven’t had any  business dealings?

Is it in the credibility stage, in which you’ve interacted with each other enough that a degree of mutual trust has been established?

Or has it deepened over time to the point of profitability, where both parties receive mutual benefits as a result of assistance, business referrals, or other interactions?

Nowadays, it’s easy to lose that personal touch when so much of our communication is done electronically through email and text. Yet the fact is most relationships develop through one-to-one interactions, and they get stronger every time we meet face to face. Parties and other non-networking events are when we are more likely to see people in a social setting, and these settings certainly lend them self to building relationships.

However, there are important things to remember when you’re networking at any event.

Ask Others, “How Can I Help?”

Having a Givers Gain® attitude is the number one rule to remember. We should always be thinking: How can I help this person?  Many of us know this and attempt to apply it to our relationships, yet we are more inclined to do it instinctively with those people with whom we are in the profitability category. How can we apply it to the relationships that are in the visibility and credibility categories?

At a social event, we usually ask somebody, “How’s it going?” What is their typical reply? Something like, “Great, things couldn’t be better.” That’s an automatic response that people give because they want to be polite and because they think that nobody really wants to hear their troubles. But that standard answer they give is not usually the whole truth.

Things can always be better. There are surely ways you can help—however, most people are not inclined to go into detail or let others know what’s going on, especially at a social event. The best way to find out is to avoid generalities like “How are things?” and ask more specific questions.

One time when I was having a conversation with someone, I asked them how things were going and got the standard answer that things were great, the company was expanding, and business was better than expected. My next question was “Are you hitting all of your goals?” Their answer: Yes, the business was exceeding all its goals by a large margin.

Sounds like this person didn’t need any help, right? On the contrary: to me it sounded like a big opportunity. Think about it, here was a company that was expanding faster than the owner projected. What kind of help might it need?

Many consider networking just another way to get clients, but when you think in terms of building relationships, a chance to help is a BIG opportunity. That help can be provided in many different forms, each as valuable as the next.

In this case I was able to make some introductions that the individual was very grateful for. But it was only after getting past the generalities that I was able to figure out their specific needs.

Be Sincere

When you are networking successfully at a non-networking event, people won’t even know it. That’s because you are genuinely looking for ways that you can help others, and your concern for the person you’re talking with is apparent. People who are networking exclusively for their own personal gain come across as shallow and insincere.

A good networker doesn’t have to attempt sincerity. They really care about making connections for others, not just for themselves. Some people are so accomplished and successful at networking that they are able to network virtually anywhere. They find that people are receptive to them using an opportunity to share information that will benefit others, even when that exchange takes the form of a business card at a cultural celebration.

Honor the Event

This one should really be a no-brainer, and yet we all know some overzealous business people who trawl the room at a party in pursuit of a sale, any sale. They may do the same, although less blatantly, at family gatherings and other social events. This is the exact opposite of what business networking is all about. Remember, relationships are the name of the game. Social events are a great place to get visibility and credibility, so focus on building those aspects of relationships.

Your networking must be different in a chamber of commerce meeting compared to a social event. In both cases you want to be making contacts, connecting people with each other, helping others, and building relationships. You should NOT be actively promoting your business at a non-business event. Honor the event and tailor your networking strategies so that you fit in without being tuned out.

Networking is a Lifestyle

Networking is a lifestyle that can be incorporated into everything that you do. Since one should always be working on building meaningful relationships with other people, they should always be networking. However, that doesn’t mean one should always be trying to “sell” something to somebody, because that rarely facilitates the development of meaningful relationships.

 

Remember, business networking means developing relationships, and ALL events, including social gatherings, family get-togethers, and holiday parties are filled with opportunities to help others. And helping others provides the opportunity to build and strengthen relationships.

Do you have a success story about networking at a non-networking event?
I’d like to hear about it in the comments section.

The Concierge Concept – “Who’s In Your Room?”string(57) "The Concierge Concept – “Who’s In Your Room?”"

 There is a new concept in the recently released Second Edition of “Who’s In Your Room?” and it’s called The Concierge. 

The premise of the book Who’s In Your Room? is:
Imagine that you live your entire life in one room that only has ONE door – an Enter Only door. There is no exit. Inside the room are all the people with whom you have ever had a relationship. You can create your own mental Doorkeeper based on your personal values to help you determine who gets to come into your room and therefore into your life.

However, many people have asked, “What about the people who are already in our room?”

My friend and co-author, Stewart Emery, joins me to talk about the importance of The Concierge concept in this video.

Along with your Doorkeeper, your Concierge becomes the other important person in your room. They work on your behalf, bringing people closer or keeping them further away. They direct the people in your life to their proper place in the room and help make sure everyone stays where they belong.

 

I invite you to learn more about establishing your own Concierge to help you create the room, and the life, of your dreams. The Second Edition of “Who’s In Your Room?” is available here: https://amzn.to/3kIGZFy

“Who’s In Your Room?” Second Editionstring(42) "“Who’s In Your Room?” Second Edition"

The revised and updated Second Edition of my book Who’s In Your Room? is released! I’m excited about this version because we’ve tripled the content in the book and included many stories about how people have integrated the concepts from the book into their lives.

I joined my good friend and co-author, Stewart Emery, to make the announcement in this short video.

The Second Edition of “Who’s In Your Room?” also has practical exercises that you can implement to create the room of your dreams… the LIFE of your dreams.

 

The book is available in three formats, paperback, e-book download, and audiobook, all at this link: https://amzn.to/3kIGZFy 
I invite you to get your copy and share your thoughts.

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