How Your Deal Breakers Impact Your Business

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Everyone has deal breakers. You have things you won’t tolerate in friendships, in romantic relationships, and in living situations. Whether you know it or not, you also have deal breakers that come into play with your business practices. We all do, it is just a matter of whether or not you consciously know what they are.

So how do you know what your deal breakers are, and then what do you do with them once you know?

Start by figuring out what you simply won’t tolerate in business. Try asking yourself these questions:

  • When was the last time you were really angry/frustrated?
  • What traits do you deplore most in others?
  • What do you find the epitome of misery?
  • What do you least value in friends and business associates?

Now, separately, list out projects or associates that fall in line with the answers to your above questions. These projects and people go against your values, and don’t align with who you strive to be in business and in life. They are holding you back, and in order to elevate your business and move on, you must consider cutting them out. Keeping these people or projects in your life are costing you time, money, and energy. By cutting them out, you can see an increase in your passion, in your happiness, and in your success.

What are your deal breakers? How has cutting them out (or keeping them in!) impacted your business? Let me know in the comments below!

New International Networking Week® Video for 2014

The new video for International Networking Week® 2014 has just been released!

This short, six-and-a-half-minute video, sponsored by the Referral Institute, explains how the week of February 3rd-7th, 2014 will bring about great opportunities for businesspeople around the world and increase worldwide awareness about the powerful benefits of business networking. International Networking Week® 2013

2014 will mark the 8th annual celebration of International Networking Week which is now recognized by many countries across the globe, with thousands of events being held during the week. One of the main goals of the week is to help businesspeople everywhere build their networking skills and expand the opportunities within their reach.  In the video, I talk about Stewart Emery’s “Who’s in Your Room?” concept within a networking context and how International Networking Week presents a great opportunity to reassess the people currently in your life and reach out to people who you want in your ‘room’ but may have lost contact with or need to build a relationship with.

I hope you enjoy the video and that you’re as excited as I am about participating in the global celebration of International Networking Week come February.  After watching the video, please share your thoughts on it, and on International Networking Week in general, in the comment forum below.  I’m looking forward to hearing from you.  Thanks!

Who’s In Your Room? – A Personal Story

A few years ago my company was in the midst of one of the largest projects in the history of our organization.  The project involved many people—it was very complex and financially challenging.  It was also in trouble.  I needed to select a key player for the project team.  The man I chose had incredibly strong technical skills.  He was very qualified for the project and was the perfect person to help turn this around . . . or so I thought.  I knew he came with a lot of baggage.  He didn’t always play well with others, he would fly off the handle emotionally when talking to people and, worst of all, he brought an immense amount of drama to the workplace.  On the other hand he was highly qualified for the work. Based on those qualifications, I hired him as manager. I suspected there would be problems with the drama and the outbursts – however, I felt I could coach him and guide him through this.

It turns out I was wrong.  Monumentally wrong. 

Despite his incredible technical skills, his behavior more than offset his technical strengths.  The project went from problematic to horrific within a year.  It was way over budget, well behind schedule, and not nearly the quality that I expected.   Around this time, one of the project team members told me that the best thing the project manager could do for a meeting was to call in sick!  The team member said when the manager was not there they got a lot more done.

Right about that time, I attended a presentation that Stewart Emery did where he talked about the concept of “Who’s in Your Room?”.  I walked out of that presentation and decided right then and there that this project leader should have never been in my room.  I also realized that getting him out of the room was going to be very difficult.  Why?  Because he kept everything close to the vest.  Most of the people in the project didn’t understand or know many of the aspects of the work, because this project leader didn’t collaborate or share information freely.  I understood that removing him from the room was going to be difficult and painful.  But I was clear on the reality that it had to be done.

It ended up taking months to lay the ground work with everyone on the team by me personally engaging them in pieces of the project they needed to know but weren’t privy to with this manager.  I had to drop many of my normal responsibilities and devote an immense amount of time to this process.  I promoted some people and moved others around.  When all was ready, I made the move and let go of the project leader.  There was an immediate and palpable change in the project.  Today it has made incredible strides, and it is becoming exactly the product that I was hoping for and it is something I am proud of as an entrepreneur.

The lesson I learned in this very expensive and very stressful process was this: be very selective about who you let in your room.  Don’t allow people in just because of their technical skills.  I want a work environment that is a “drama-free” zone and I pick people for my organization who I want in my room.  I now try to select qualified people who fit the organizational culture of collaboration, people who share information and knowledge and people who don’t bring to the process an Emmy Award winning soap opera of behaviors.

Have you experienced this phenomenon?  If so, please tell us about it in the comment forum below and, also, please share any thoughts you have on Stewart’s Who’s in Your Room concept. Thanks!

Stewart Emery: “Who’s in Your Room?”

In this video, I talk to bestselling author Stewart Emery about his concept “Who’s in Your Room?” which prompts people to practice discernment in regard to those they let into their life.

Just imagine you are going to have to live your entire life in one room with an entrance door but no exit door–who would you let in and who would you keep out?  Knowing the answer to this may be more valuable than you realize . . .

What do you think about this concept?  Does it encourage you to be more careful about the people you let into “your room”?  Please leave your thoughts in the comment forum below . . .

Today Marks the 500th Blog Post on Business Networking.com!

I am very pleased to announce that today marks the 500th blog post on BusinessNetworking.com!  To celebrate, my wife Beth and I recorded this video where we reminisce about which blog posts have been our favorites over the five years I’ve been doing this blog and why these individual posts stand out to us.

Below you’ll find the links to the specific blogs we mention in the video so you can check them out if you’re interested.  To celebrate this 500-blog milestone, I’d love nothing more than to hear which BusinessNetworking.com blogs have been your favorites through the years and why.  I’d really like to hear what you think so please leave a comment in the comments section.

I appreciate you taking the time to read my BusinessNetworking.com blog posts and I am very grateful to have a forum where I can share what I’ve learned throughout the course of  my career and learn from all of you who contribute such great feedback.  Thank you so much for being a part of this community of learning and sharing knowledge to promote the success of business networkers around the world–I’m looking forward to another five years (and hopefully more) of keeping this blog going!

1. The Butterfly Effect: September, 07 – http://businessnetworking.com/the-%e2%80%9cbutterfly-effect-of-networking

2. OMG, I’m an Introvert: February, 2009 – http://businessnetworking.com/omg-im-an-introvert

3. Premature Solicitation: February, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/premature-solicitation

4. The Networking Disconnect: September, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/the-networking-disconnect/

5. Who’s in Your Room: March, 2012 – http://businessnetworking.com/whos-in-your-room

* Rants:*

6. Networking — A Soft Science: September, 2007:http://businessnetworking.com/networking-a-soft-science-only-to-college-profe…

7. My Philosophy About Competition: June, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/my-philosophy-about-competition

8. Relationships are Irrelevant!?: February, 2010 –http://businessnetworking.com/premature-solicitation-from-a-believer

9. You Don’t Become Exceptional by Looking for Exceptions: September, 2011 – http://businessnetworking.com/you-dont-become-exceptional-by-looking-for-exce…

10. Unsolicited Advice is Rarely Welcome: February, 2012 –http://businessnetworking.com/unsolicited-advice-is-rarely-appreciated

Who’s in Your Room?

“Who’s in Your Room?”  This was the question asked by a close friend of mine, Stewart Emery (pictured in this blog) at a presentation of his that I attended a few months ago.

He posed an interesting series of questions and ideas to the audience; “What if you had to live your life in one room?  Whoever you want to interact with in life is in that room.  There is only one door.  It is a one-way door.  Whoever is in your room, stays in your room forever.  Whoever comes into your room impacts your life directly in many ways.  If you knew that this person would be in your room forever, would you have let that person in your room?”

He went on to ask, “If you let people in – what would your room look like?  Would it be:

  • An angry room?
  • Chaotic room
  • Happy room?
  • Conflicted room?
  • Would there be a lot of drama?
  • Are there too many people in the room?
  • Too many interruptions?”

His point was that the quality of your life is a direct reflection of who is in your room.  How you manage who you let into your room (and life) is very important.  How do we go about choosing who we let in?  He suggested a sort of mental “doorman” who is trained on your values and your passions.  It is this doorman who stops people from getting into your life who conflict with your values and passions.  Nobody gets in who doesn’t meet your personal values.

He asked us to do an exercise to think about the people who are in our room now.  Are there people close to us that don’t live our values?  Would we have let them in if we had thought about this concept before letting them close to us?

We design the room we live in, along with the people who are in it.  We can do that consciously, or we can do that by happenchance.  The choice is ours.  Understanding this idea now, who are we going to let in our room from this point on?

This concept fits powerfully with building a powerful personal network.  The people we bring in close to us should be people we want to work with.  They should be people who share our values and our passions.  Understanding this simple concept can help us to understand the difference between an opportunity or a distraction.  It can help us choose between a person who we think has a skill set we need versus a value set we wish to emulate.

What do you think about the concept of “Who’s in Your Room?”  Knowing this concept now – what would you do different in the future?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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