What Is Your Intent? Do You Know Your Purpose?

Photo courtesy of Boykung at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Photo courtesy of Boykung at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

All great teachers assert the importance of having intent and purpose in our lives.  According to Benjamin Disraeli, “The secret of success is constancy of purpose.”  Before you go into a networking scenario, make sure you know your purpose.  If your underlying pupose is to exploit the group, you will communicate differently, both verbally and nonverbally, than if you intend to give to the group.  You expect an eventual return, of course, but a good networker goes in with the immediate benefit of others uppermost in mind.

We are, at most times in our lives, a dynamic mixture of intentions.  We seek to do good for others, and at the same time we seek personal benefits in many different forms.  When we attend networking events, our attention instinctively and constantly jumps from situation to situation, searching for opportunities that favor us.  To fix your intention firmly on benefitting others, it is useful to organize your thoughts before the event by formulating, in writing, a clear statement of your main purpose–a mission statement.  Focusing on your number-one priority helps you push your many other impulses into the background.

With your attention and intentions focused, you will communicate clearly and unambiguously your willingness to help others solve problems and satisfy needs.  You will be more self-confident and open to the messages of others, and they will sense it and be attracted to you.  Your message will foster trust and rapport with your networking partners, enabling you to establish and strengthen mutually beneficial relationships.

For the networker, the most authentic message of all is this: “I would like to be your friend, and for you to be my friend.  I think we will both benefit from it.  And I want to start this friendship by doing something to help you.”  If you communicate this orientation toward others in all possible ways, with integrity, you will easily form valuable, rewarding, long-lasting networking relationships.

What have you personally found to be an effective tactic in relaying your genuine networking intent/purpose?  Please share your feedback in the comment forum below.  Thanks!

It’s Not What You Say . . . It’s How You Say It

The business I’m in involves a lot of coaching and guiding of franchisees to teach them how to coach and guide entrepreneurs, salespeople, and professionals to generate referrals for themselves and others.  Sometimes this feels a little like ‘herding cats’; entrepreneurs hate being told what to do and it takes a real skill set to move them in a direction that involves a lot of hard work but will help them achieve the results they want.

Photo courtesy of stockimages at freedigitalphotos.net

Photo courtesy of stockimages at freedigitalphotos.net

One of the biggest challenges I have in this process is not with the actual entrepreneur or salesperson but with the individual I’m coaching to be able to guide the entrepreneur or salesperson. These people have gone through many hours of training, tend to have a fair amount of field experience, and have support manuals that exceed a thousand pages of documentation to assist in the process.   They are true expertsI’ve discovered, however, that sometimes expertise can actually be a problem. Just because your expertise may arm you with the knowledge to recognize the solution to a problem or challenge, it doesn’t mean other people are going to automatically ‘believe’ you know the solution and/or want you to actually tell them the solution.  I know that sounds counter intuitive; however, if you’ve ever raised a child, you know that this is often times absolutely true!

So, let’s say you’re an expert.  You know you’re an expert.  You know that you can help someone else.  You also know that this “someone else” is a grownup who runs their own business or is an independent sales rep who chose their particular career for good reason . . . they like the freedom of being independent.  How do you move these people in the right direction?

I had a person who worked for my company who once went into one of my locations and was appalled by how badly things were being run by the members of the group.  She let them know in no uncertain terms what they were doing wrong and how they needed to turn it around. Her assessment of the situation and the solutions she proposed were spot on but her presentation of them was all wrong. She was so blunt with the group’s members that she received a very negative reaction from them and ended up leaving the place an even bigger mess than it was when she first walked in.  When I met with her to talk about how she might have done things differently, she grew furious with me for not supporting her since she was right and the members of the group were wrong.  I wasn’t arguing that she was right–she was.  The problem I had was how she handled the situation–in that area, she was completely wrong. I tried to explain this to her by sharing one of my favorite sayings relating to the dilemma:  “Don’t burn down the barn to roast the pig.” In other words, don’t make things worse than you found them when you were trying to fix them in the first place.

She could never really wrap her head around the concept that people may not welcome her advice with enthusiasm and agree with her stance on an issue when she was clearly right.  She didn’t work for me for much longer (make of that what you will) and, eventually, we got an expert to work with that group who ‘listened’ to their issues,  Built relationships with the group members, and then coached them into achieving the greatness they had within them.  It’s important to note that this process took time and patience.

There are two things I try to teach people in this situation.

First, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” If you want people to listen to you when you are coaching them or re-directing them, they have to know that you care about them and want them to succeed.  If they don’t know this down to their core – they will not listen to your advice.  Ever.

Second, is a saying given to me by mother on a paper weight when I was about 16 years old and I was running an uphill battle for a student council race.  My mother gave me this paper weight (which is still on my desk in my home to this date).  The paper weight says: Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.” When she gave me that, she explained that I had to learn how to work “with” people – not “through” people.  She said that even if I did know the answer to a problem – it did no good if no one else believed me.  That advice helped me win the election and it has helped me many times throughout my life.  I have to admit that I don’t always use it as well as I can – however, when I do use it, things almost always go more smoothly.

The bottom line is this: being right doesn’t help much if no one is willing to follow you.

What are your thoughts on this issue?  Maybe you can share a story . . . but, remember to keep it positive.  Let’s focus on positive outcomes more than just horror stories.

How to Communicate Simply and with Specificity

Communication is always a challenge.  If it were easy, there would be no need for research, books, or training programs on the subject, and there would be far fewer divorces–and wars.  But communication is doubly vital in networking.  Your success in marketing your business by word of mouth rests mostly on your skills as a communicator.  The clearer and more concise your message, the more easily it is passed on by your marketing team.

Photo courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Photo courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here are three common ways people miscommunicate:

  1.  They talk too much
  2.  They use jargon
  3.  They speak in generalities

Doing any of these things is a mistake that can cause your message to be lost, misheard, or ignored.  Worse, it can create misinformation or confusion, or even turn people against you, causing you greater harm than if you had not tried to communicate at all.  In a networking situation, remember that unless you are speaking with someone else in your industry, you must eliminate the jargon from your vocabulary.  Simplify your message so the average person can relate to what you’re saying.  When someone asks you, “What do you do for a living?” here are some examples of how to best respond:

  •  Instead of saying, “I do IT consulting and system hard drive analysis,” say, “I troubleshoot and tune up computers to keep them free of problems.”  It’s easy to relate to computers that are problem free, but terms like “IT consulting” and “hard drive analysis” are confusing to some.
  • Instead of saying, “I’m a marketing consultant,” say, “I help businesses become known in the community.”
  • Instead of saying, “I analyze telecommunications hardware and systems,” say, “I save businesses money on their phone systems.”

Notice how in these examples, the industry jargon is eliminated and then replaced with a benefit statement.  That is, we went from industry-specific, feature-related terms to less-specific, benefit-related terms.  In networking, it is also important to take care not to speak in too general of terms.  General requests are hard for people to fulfill, because they don’t bring to mind specific people or situations that the listener may know of.

Suppose you ask a realtor what kind of prospect he wants to meet and the realtor says, “Anyone who wants to sell a home.”  The chances of your knowing someone who “wants to sell a home” are slim, and if you do know someone who is putting her house on the market, she’s probably already dealing with a real estate agent.  But if the realtor says, “Empty nesters looking to downsize,” you immediately think of two or three couples whose last child has moved out.  This answer is more specific, and it makes you think of home owners who may be just starting to consider moving to a smaller house.

It may seem odd but the more specific you are, the wider the door opens in the listener’s mind.  To network your business effectively, think of yourself as a profiler.  The more accurately you profile your preferred client and the more specific your message, the better your referrals will be.  Being specific also helps when you ask someone to help you.  Let’s say you’re looking for a personal introduction to the CEO of Company X.  When you ask someone in your network to introduce you, be specific: “John, could you arrange a one-hour lunch meeting for the two of us and Ruth Sinclair, the CEO of Company X?  She’s someone I’d really like to meet, and since you know both of us well, it would be great to have you there.”  This request is specific; it gives John the details he needs to successfully complete the task.

A great way to get used to communicating your message simply and specifically is to practice delivering it.  Here’s the most-asked question in networking: “So, what do you do for a living?”  This week, practice your response to this question, and time yourself until you can answer it concisely and clearly in one minute.  Keep in mind that the question is what do you do for a living, not how you do it.  Another good way to work on your message is to identify ten jargon words that you’ve been using in your networking.  Make a list with two columns–title the first column “Jargon Words or Phrases” and the second column “Saying the Same Thing in Layperson’s Terms.”  A third thing you can do to practice your message is to write out a referral request before presenting it to the people in your network.  Make the request specific by using the name, company, and profile of the person you want to be referred to.  Create a clear image of what the people in your network should be looking for and what you want them to do on your behalf.  As an experiment, show your written request to someone close to you and ask him if it is clear, concise, specific, and devoid of assumptions.  Becoming an effective profiler for your business not only helps you clarify your messages, but it also helps ensure the success of your referral marketing efforts. -s

I’d love to hear about your experiences in practicing your message so please share your thoughts in the comment forum below–thanks!

 

How to Zero in on the Benefits of Your Business

Last week I wrote a blog explaining the importance of focusing on the benefits of your products or services (as opposed to the features of your products/services) when communicating with networking partners and potential customers.

Once you have a good understanding of the difference between benefits and features, you can begin zeroing in on the benefits of your business.  In order to do this, your first task is to focus on your best customers.  What problems were they experiencing before they came to you?  What problems did you solve for them?  How did you make their lives easier?  The answers to these questions will begini to connect you with their motives for buying your products or services.  You provided some value to them that was significant enough to cause them to spend their money.  What was it?

An additional task this week is to create a list of the features versus the benefits of just one product or service you offer.  On a sheet of paper, make two columns–one column with the heading “FEATURE of This Product or Service” and the other column with the heading “BENEFIT of This Feature.”

Once you’ve completed this list, begin to include the language of your benefits in your messages to your marketing team, to prospects, and while networking.  It would be a good idea to eventually complete this list for each of your products or services because the more you can communicate the benefits of your products/services, the more people will see the value of what your business provides.

Come back next week to learn how to simplify your message and make it more specific and, in the meantime, I’d love to hear from you in regard to any questions you may have about benefits vs. features and/or get your thoughts on what you may have learned or realized about the true benefits of your products/services through creating your features vs. benefits list.  Please share your questions/thoughts in the comment forum below.  Thanks!

 

Don’t Make a Mess of Your Message — “Navigating the VCP Process® to Networking” Series

TR Garland (pictured with me in the photo below) is a friend of mine and co-author of one of my most recent #1 best-selling books called Building The Ultimate Network

TR-and-Ivan-Blue-Backgrou
For some time now, we’ve both observed a need to drill down on one of the most important and foundational concepts to networking – The VCP Process®.  A while ago, we started a much-anticipated 12-part series of blog posts which addresses this and contains some very timely information for networkers across the globe. Today, we’re proud to share with you Part 11 of the series. Enjoy.

TRBlog1VCPpic1

 

DON’T MAKE A MESS OF YOUR MESSAGE
(Part 11 of 12 of the “Navigating The VCP Process® To Networking” Series)

In Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4, and Part 5 of this series, we introduced and re-introduced the concept and steps of The VCP Process® to Networking for our readers through brief anecdotes, relevant comparisons, and sometimes even humorous situations. For Parts 6 and 7 we even shared with you video trainings from the both of us.

In Part 8, we suggested some behaviors that you can use on a weekly basis to increase the number of referrals you receive. And, as a result, we got a couple phone calls complimenting us about how that particular blog post clearly outlined what type of behaviors a successful networker should be practicing on a weekly and monthly basis – and we were asked to provide more. We fulfilled that request in Part 9.

And, in Part 10, we addressed that ‘Mindset’ has as much to do with your success in networking as ‘Skillset’.

Today, we’re going to build upon all of the varying topics and techniques we’ve used to help you understand how best to Navigate The VCP Process® To Networking.

Let’s begin by asking you a very important question–What is the MOST famous speech in the history of the United States?  (Yes…we understand that many of our readers are internationally-based. We appreciate that very much. With that said, please bear with us and you too will be pleasantly surprised by the end of this post at what you’re about to learn.)

Okay. Now back to the question. What’s the MOST famous speech in the history of the United States?  Anyone? . . . Anyone?  Was it President John F. Kennedy (i.e., JFK) in which he said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”?  Was it Dr. Martin Luther King (i.e. MLK) in which he said, “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up, live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal’.”?  Or, was it Abraham Lincoln (i.e. Abe) in the Gettysburg Address in which he said, “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”?  Have your voting ballots been placed? Are you ready for the answer?

Well, it was the Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln. Yep, the Gettysburg Address.The SECOND most famous speech was Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” and the THIRD most famous speech was John F. Kennedy’s “Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You”.

Now, here are another 3 questions for you:  How long was MLK’s speech?  It was 1,651 words.  How long was JFK’s Inaugural Address on January 20th, 1961?  Well, it was 1,366 words.  How long was the Gettysburg Address? . . . Anyone?  It was only 272 words. It was only 2 minutes long. It was only 10 sentences.  Therefore, one could interpret that it was CLEAR, CONCISE, and COMPELLING. And, by being all three of these, the audience who was listening “got it” the first time Abraham Lincoln delivered his speech.  Did you know that there was actually a Featured Speaker that same day that spoke for over 2 hours? We didn’t. And, most people don’t know that either. His name was Edward Everett and this proves our point today.

So, our recommendation to each and every one of you reading this today is to tell this story to your BNI Chapters, Chambers of Commerce, and other Networking Groups you’re involved in.

We understand that many of you are from a variety of different countries. Yet, this doesn’t matter. It doesn’t dilute the important point that’s been made. After you tell your BNI Chapters, Chamber Members, and others whom you network with this story, let them know that you are going to work with everybody to make sure that their “messaging” is CLEAR, CONCISE, and COMPELLING.  Because, if it’s not…it simply won’t be as effective in today’s networking environments.

When people are concerned (i.e. fuss and complain) about what to do when the time allotted for their introductions (in BNI they’re called Sales Manager Minutes) gets cut down to 45 or 30 seconds due to a growing group or Chapter….reference this story.  When people are concerned (i.e. fuss and complain) about their Keynote Presentations getting cut down from 12 and 10 minutes to 8 and 6 minutes….reference this story.

In closing, let’s take a very valuable lesson from the History Books. If Abraham Lincoln could make such a difference and be remembered decades & decades later after delivering only 10 sentences, what are YOUR 10 SENTENCES that will make a massive impact on your network?
We thank you for reading today’s post and extend an invitation to be on the lookout for next month’s contribution to this series – Part 12 called “Using Social Media To Navigate The V-C-P Process®.”

 

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