ask ivan Archives - Dr. Ivan Misner®
“Can't do” or “Won’t do”

Helping others depends on either a “Can’t do” or “Won’t do” answer

Whatever the issues are that are holding someone back, focus on a constructive approach. If you ask them, “How can we help you?”, their answer will always be either a “can’t do” or “won’t do” answer. The person will either explain why they are having difficulty with the situation because they don’t know how to address it effectively, or they will give an answer that illustrates that they don’t really want to do this for some reason or another.

How to handle a “Can’t do” answer

Once there was a printer that was dead last on P.A.L.M.S. report in a local BNI group. We did not tell him that he was dead last. Instead, we asked him, “How can we help you?” His response was that his print shop was new and he admitted that he did not understand networking. This is a classic “Cant’ Do” response. It is our job to teach them because we were all a “can’t do” when we first started networking. We all make tons of mistakes. When someone says they can’t do something, they are open to being coached. It is our job to teach them.  If we were just negative and told the printer he was dead last, he would have quit. Instead, if we pour into them and help them, they become champions in BNI.

Where the clients come into the lobby area of the print shop, we recommended that he put up a sign where everyone could see it with slots for the BNI members’ business cards. He was instructed to get 20 copies of everyone business cards to fill sign with only the cards from BNI members. When someone took a card, they were told to say that Bob’s printing referred you. If someone not in BNI wanted to give him their cards for the sign, the printer was instructed to invite them to the next BNI meeting instead. True story! Nobody just took a card and left. They asked Bob his opinion on each of these. He gave a testimonial with everyone he had cards for. He went from last to number one in giving the most referrals. He went from being embarrassed to the top referral giver within 6 months. He was the winner of the year. He now loves BNI. We changed his business by coaching him.

How to handle a “Won’t do” answer

In this example, they give excuses: it’s too difficult… they are busy…I’m different. With a clear-cut “won’t do” answer, if you open the door for them they will leave on their own. I recommend saying, “I understand your frustration, it is ok to leave the group, feel free to come back if things change”. However, if you kick them out, they will become defiant and negative towards BNI. They blame the chapter and claim it is everyone fault. Therefore, if they don’t save face, they will fight you all the way. On the other hand, they don’t hate you if you give them the option to leave in a positive manner.

Here’s a suggestion. On rare, rare occasions – when someone is a “won’t do” but they don’t want to leave.  Tell them you appreciate their involvement and that you’ll throw them a “retirement party”. OK, not a real party – but recognize their past participation in the group and thank them for their involvement. This should be done rarely but it allows them to save face and leave. With this advice, you can cut down the percentage that will require a tough conversation by 90%. Then, only 10% of the time you need to have the tough talk about opening their classification and not renewing their membership. You want to be invested in their success, yet cut them loose when needed.

Being a member of the group is not enough.  If you are not contributing then why are you there? Being complacent is what I call a “MINO” (Member In Name Only). How can we help you to get more engaged? How can we help you to… bring more members? …bring more visitors? …bring more referrals? Whatever the issues are, just ask, “How can we help?” Their answer will tell you if you can help them.

Ask Ivan

Ask Ivan – Managing Your Contacts

Ask Ivan video

The first video in our new series of Ask Ivan videos answers a question submitted by Rob Youngblood.

Rob Youngblood, of Elite BNI in Richmond, VA, asks: “When you started BNI in 1985, what tools did you use to keep track of your contacts and how do you manage your network today?”

When I started BNI in 1985, I used a Roledex to manage business cards. Today, I recommend software to manage your contacts. Use the system that works for you.

Please watch my answer in this video

Have a burning networking or business-related question? Submit it for a chance to be featured in a future video.

Submit your own question to me below.

Ask Me Anything Live Tomorrow

I’m excited to be streaming live on Entrepreneur’s YouTube series to help listeners build their networking skills. This live-stream will be tomorrow, Friday, at 12 p.m. PT, and you can access it here.

During the live chat, I’ll be answering all of your burning, networking-related questions. To get your questions in, go to the above video link and type in your question in the chat bar to the right.

Learn more about the live-streaming event below:

https://youtu.be/vX6ORTPSkQQ

Better Yourself by Asking Questions

questionNo matter who you are, or what you do, there will always be something that you are not an expert in. As businesspeople, we are always working on honing our craft, profession, and interpersonal skills. Part of this never ending journey to better ourselves is asking questions to those who may be able to help us along the way.

Last week in the BNI Podcast, I started a new segment called “Ask Ivan.” Simply by emailing in, listeners of my podcast will be able to submit any question they would like to hear me answer. Shortly after launching the new segment, it occurred to me that podcast listeners aren’t the only ones who may have interesting questions. Readers on IvanMisner.com are just as likely to have burning educational questions.

Whether you have a specific question about referral marketing, would like me to discuss a segment from one of my books, or are curious about anything networking related, your question could be featured in a future blog or vlog.

As networking evolves, the questions on the minds of businesspeople around the world evolve, too.  That being said, be sure to send in your questions to askivan@bni.com and include your city and country. There is no such thing as a stupid question!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
   Follow Me

Get every new post delivered to your inbox