Uncategorized Archives - Dr. Ivan Misner®
Bob Burg

How to Cyber-Influence – Even When You Disagree (by Bob Burg and John David Mann)

Today’s blog is written by an expert on networking and a good friend of mine, Bob Burg. Bob and his co-author, John David Mann are good friends of BNI.

Social media is a fantastic invention that connects and gives a voice to millions of individuals in ways never before possible. It’s exciting just to consider the good that can be accomplished as a range of varying viewpoints communicate and interact without the filter of the usual centralized filters. Imagine the potential for new mutual understanding!

Unfortunately, cyberspace these days is rife with “dialog” that consists mainly of hurled insults between people who may be kind and thoughtful in person, yet who express their opinions online in ways that do nothing but sharpen our differences and divide us further.

Ignorance on Fire

We’ve noticed an interesting correlation in many such attack-style tweets and posts. Those with the strongest opinions and most insulting comments often seem the least informed regarding the issue at hand.

In a way, this makes sense. The more people allow their emotions to control their actions, the less room there is for logic and thoughtfulness. Our guess is that those with the most emotionally charged opinions obtain their information mainly from sources they already agree with: their tribal echo chamber.

While this is natural, that doesn’t make it productive — not for the commenter, the one with whom they’re trading insults, or society at large. Sure, it allows us to feel the righteous indignation of our own convictions, but it generates no new understanding in the process. And it’s hard to feel good about yourself when you’ve been acting thuggish.

There’s a saying in sales, “ignorance on fire beats knowledge on ice.” Maybe so — but ignorance on fire can also be incredibly destructive, especially when it comes to online debate.

It’s All in the Frame

One of the most powerful secrets to effective dialogue is one that so many people today seem to overlook completely: the power of the frame.

“The frame,” as the Judge Henshaw character explains in our book The Go-Giver Influencer, “is more important than the content, because the frame is the context. Whoever sets the frame of the conversation also sets the tone and the direction in which it will go.”

We all set frames constantly, often without realizing it. A smile and an open handshake, versus a scowl and a stern “Now, see here…,” and things have gotten off to a very different start. When your girlfriend or boyfriend texts you and says, “We need to talk…,” the conversation itself hasn’t even started yet, but a frame has been set!

A dog might greet a newcomer by showing his teeth, or his belly. The first sets a frame that says, “I am top dog here, watch it!” while the second says, “I’m a friend, you’ll find no fight here.” We humans do exactly the same thing, only with words, starting a Facebook comment with an antagonistic taunt (“As any idiot knows” or “If you’d just paid attention to what I actually said”), or with a statement of our own vulnerability (“I probably didn’t say that as well as I could have” or “Just to backtrack, it seems like we both agree on X, but where we differ is Y, do I have that right?”)

There are two critical things to know about frames: there is always a frame being set, and no matter what the frame is, it can nearly always be reset. By setting (or resetting) the frame, you set the tone and direction. And here’s the irony: when you set a positive, collaborative frame, while it may appear that you’re showing your soft underbelly, this actually puts you in a position of greater influence.

The Path of Influence

The key here is that tact is not the same thing as compromise. We can always speak tactfully and respectfully to others without compromising our own values. You can disagree without personally attacking the other person. Pay attention to the frame you’re setting, as distinct from the point you want to make.

And before you express your opinion, take the time to learn more about the issue. Even better, study the issue from the opposing side’s point of view. Tune to media outlets with opposing views to yours, not to point out their flaws but to genuinely understand their point of view. As the saying goes, “You don’t truly understand an issue until you can argue both sides.”

We’re not suggesting you’ll necessarily agree with the other viewpoint. We’re saying you’ll come away with a much better understanding — and communicate your own viewpoint far more effectively.

The Go-Giver Influencer

Bob Burg and John David Mann are coauthors of The Go-Giver Influencer. Legendary business coach Marshall Goldsmith says, “This may be the most important Go-Giver book yet—and in today’s polarized world, it could not be more timely.” Download the first two chapters at www.thegogiver.com/tggi.

Networking Scorecard

Are you having problems signing up for “The Networking Scorecard”?

We have released a patch to resolve the issue that users with certain phone number formats were facing when signing up for the Networking Scorecard App. Please update the app and try the sign up again. For those who have previously downloaded it and you were experiencing problems, you will need to update it then sign up again.

You may go to the App Store and update or click this link and update:

https://itunes.apple.com/in/app/the-networking-scorecard/id1318616340?mt=8

New Best Friend

The New Best Friend

Desperation is not referable.

When people demonstrate certain behaviors as part of their networking efforts, it’s a tell-tale sign of desperation.  There are four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit. “The New Best Friend” is the final of these four “desperate networker behaviors” that I shared during the past weeks.

The New Best Friend

Follow-up with the people you meet at a networking event is important.  But be a professional – not a stalker.  The New Best Friend is the over-eager seller who after you meet at a networking event – calls you, emails you, social media messages you, and tries to become your New Best Friend in the space of just a few days. Generally, they’re not actually trying to help you – they simply want to sell something to you.  Granted, they may want to sell something to you because in their mind – it’s only to “help you,” but it’s never really about you.  It’s about what they want from you.   Desperation seeps from their pores.  I’ve experienced this many times over my career.  The one that stands out the most in my mind happened a couple years ago.  I met a young man (late 20’s) at a networking event and he went right into “New Best Friend” mode – calling several times, emailing every day, messaging me on Facebook etc.  But when he wrote me and said that he thought of himself like my son (yes, seriously – he said that) and he needed my help in his business venture – I had to pull the plug.  I tried to pull it gently by talking about the importance of establishing credibility before pitching something and that the process of developing credibility takes time.  Curiously, my “new son” abandoned me.

Remember this behavior when you go to networking events, Whatever you do – don’t demonstrate “The New Best Friend” behavior yourself.  Furthermore, remember that networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. Please check out my blog posts during the past weeks as I described each of the four types of behaviors that desperate networkers exhibit.

What other kinds of desperate networker have you seen?

Check out these links to the other three types of “desperate networker behaviors” below:

Productivity

Five In Office Changes to Boost Employee Health and Productivity

Ivan Misner shares how diet and eating habits can boost your employees’ productivity.

1) Install a water filtration system
2) Encourage a body detox system
3) Serve healthy alternatives at luncheons and office celebrations.
4) Start a walking club
5) Keep morale high

Make your employees day better by encouraging a healthy lifestyle. For more information, please visit http://misnerplan.com/

Networking Efficiently

Tips for Networking Efficiently by Tiffanie Kellog and Matt Wilkerson (Guest Video Blog)

In this video, “Networking Efficiently”, Tiffanie Kellog, a trainer with Asentiv and author of 4 1/2 Networking Mistakes, interviews Matt Wilkerson, owner of the Verizon store in Williston, FL about how to network more effectivelyand to conduct your networking more efficiently , both by having focus, as well as working with a partner.

Please watch this guest video blog on my YouTube channel:  Ivan Misner: Networking For Success

Name Tags Tips

Name Tags Tips from Tiffanie Kellog (guest blog)

Name Tags Tips from Tiffanie Kellog.

When networking, wearing a name tag is a MUST! However, what you have on your name tag could be hurting you when networking, instead of helping. Join Tiffanie Kellog, author of 4 1/2 Networking Mistakes and consultant for Asentiv, as she discusses what kind of name tag you want to wear when networking. Click here to watch the video. 

 

About Tiffanie Kell0g

For more information on Tiffanie Kellog, please visit her website at tiffaniekellog.com/

Tiffanie Kellog is a professional speaker, coach, and trainer with Asentiv, and is co-owner of a business with her husband.  Therefore, Tiffanie has helped entrepreneurs over the years make more money while saving time. Thus they can have more fun. She is dedicated to helping others make more money in less time.

To contact Tiffanie, call her at 813-263-9690 or email at referrals@tiffaniekellog.com

Hold that Door! Ivan’s 5 Rules for an Elevator Pitch

I used to hate the expression: “Elevator Pitch” − it just drove me crazy. But everybody is using it all over the world, so I now give up − I’m going to go with it!

id-10074213The expression developed from the idea of literally being in an elevator with only one minute or less to say who you are and what you do. What would you say? I want you to keep in mind that your elevator pitch is not a sales pitch . . . it is a creative and succinct way to share who you are and what you do that generates interest in the listener.

With that in mind, here are Ivan’s 5 rules for an engaging Elevator Pitch:

 

1) Don’t do your pitch in an elevator! The elevator pitch is meant to be taken out of the elevator and into the real world. And, although you must practice it carefully to be able to present it cohesively and professionally, you also need to be natural. You want to rehearse not sounding rehearsed, if you know what I mean. I’m sure you’ve all seen people who, when they do theirs, you can almost envision them as being back in that elevator: you just press a button, and they are off! You want to avoid sounding staged and canned.

2) K.I.S.S. Keep it simple. Don’t try to explain everything you do in the short amount of time allotted. It will either be too much information or be too vague to be of any value. By keeping your elevator pitch simple, you have more of a chance to catch the listener’s attention, engage them with your creativity, and create interest in your product or services.

3) Remember your USP? I’ve written about this before. Your Unique Selling Proposition can serve well in your Elevator Pitch. One example of how to craft a pithy USP is to compare a bland, general statement such as “I’m a coach and consultant” to saying instead “I help people work less, make more, and create referrals for life.”  This is short, powerful, and informative − the perfect combination for an effective Elevator Pitch.

4) When crafting your Elevator Pitch, consider starting out with precisely how your listener will benefit from your product or service. My good friend, Andy Bounds, calls this the “Afters.” For your Elevator Pitch, this could be something as simple as, “I help people [                 ].” You fill in the blank: increase their sales by 33%, improve their closing ratio to 80%, or double the number of new clients they take on per month, whatever your “After” may be.

5) Pass the eyebrow test. Another good friend, Sam Horn, author of Tongue Fu and Pop!, writes about the eyebrow test. If what you say in your Elevator Pitch causes your listener’s eyebrows to go up, you’ve got ’em! By doing this, you literally will leave the listener wanting more, and that’s precisely what you want your Elevator Pitch to do.

Keeping these 5 rules in mind when you create your Elevator Pitch will set you apart from the crowd. It’s time to press “Doors Open” and step on out of the elevator. Enjoy!

Is Your Behavior Alienating?

This video is on my Networking for Success YouTube Channel, hosted by Entrepreneur.com.

Behavior is key when networking-it makes or breaks the connections, and ultimately, the relationships you build. I’ve spoken before about the differences between approachable or alienating behavior, but I want to take a deeper look into what qualifies behavior as alienating. You may watch this video and suddenly realize that the little nuances you may have passed off as nothing, are actually keeping you from successfully networking.

Here are four ways you may be alienating others when networking:

1. Negative Attitude: Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. Life is hard enough without having to lament about it all the time. If you’re always complaining or focusing on the negative aspects of life, you’re going to turn people off.

2. Closed Off Body Language: There’s a great graphic in the video that will show you what closed off body language looks like, but basically it means standing in a way that only allows for a conversation to happen between two or three people. Also, if you’re arms are crossed and you have a bored or scowled look on your face, people won’t want to approach you.

3. Incongruence: Do what you say you’re going to do. Don’t talk a big talk and not back it up. This will lead people to become skeptical of your dependability-which is bad if you’re looking to gain trusted referral partners.

4. Not Acting Interested in People: Be interested more than interesting.  A good networker has two ears and one mouth and uses them proportionately.

If you’re still not sure you’re exhibiting these behaviors, take a trusted friend or referral partner with you to your next event and ask them to notice if you act in any of the above ways; you can do the same for them. Have an honest conversation afterward about what you both noticed and work out ways to improve your behavior. At the next event, try and be aware of yourself and the reactions you get when you change your behavior.

 

 

 

Remembering Names

When networking, it’s important to remember the basics of interpersonal communication–making eye contact, listening more than you speak, and of course, actually remembering people’s names.

Yeah, I’d say remembering someone’s name is high up in the list of mannerisms that will impress others in networking. It shows you pay attention to detail, you listen well and are interested in the person, not just their business.

It can be challenging to remember names, especially if you’re an avid networker. Years ago, I was told about a four-step process that will ensure you never forget your manners–and it actually works!

1. Repetition is key. When you are introduced to someone new, ask for their business card and read it carefully. Then, read the name on the card and ask them to repeat it; it will help lock the face with the name. “Hi! It’s great to meet you, Betsy Smith. It’s pronounced Betsy, yes?”

2. Use their name in conversation. When you begin a conversation, listen to what they are saying and respond by using their name; “Wow, Betsy, that sounds like an incredible opportunity! I’d love to sit down with you over lunch and talk more.” ID-10046846

3. Connect them with others and use their name in the introduction. You are networking after all, so it’s important to connect others if you can. Whe introducing two people, use their names when they first meet. “Joe, I’d like you to meet Betsy. Betsy is a realtor who just landed a big contract with the city. I bet you two would have a lot to talk about!”

4. Dedicate it to memory. Once you’ve left the networking event and you’re back at home or work, take out the business card and try and remember what that person looked like and what they were doing and saying. Maybe even send them a quick “nice to meet you” email to help you remember the conversation you had.

The next time your at a networking event, try to use these devices and see if it helps. If you can remember the devices, that is.

 

Your Business is Not an Ugly Baby

When was the last time you heard someone say, “Wow, your baby sure is ugly!” If they’re smart, probably never.

How about this one? “Your clothing, marketing message and overall business image are not referable?” Ouch.

We occasionally think this about people we meet, but will rarely say it out loud. Which is why you are responsible for making sure your business, your “baby”, is in the right condition for receiving referrals.

I’ve seen thousands of people join networking groups and focus heavily on building their network but forget to take a good, hard look in the mirror, both at your self and image and your businesses. I’m challenging you to make an honest appraisal of yourself and your business and ask, “Am I worthy of business referrals?” If you’re not sure how to start, here are five ways to get you going.

 Five ways to help you examine your personal brand.

1. Define your Emotional Charged Connection (ECC): If you are asked seven times this week, “What do you do for a living?” do you respond with seven different answers? Your marketing message should be clear, concise and consistent; it should also tug at the heart strings a bit and have some ECC. This combination will leave a lasting impression and, most importantly, give others a clear way of explaining your message to others.

2. Walk your talk. Do what you say in less time than promised. Be on time for meetings, don’t check your phone while others are talking to you–and follow up with everyone and everything.

3. Dress for success: If you’re a mechanic and you wear a three piece suit to a business meeting, one might assume you’ve just come from court. Whatever people in your profession typically wear–uniform, polo shirt and khakis, suit and tie, dress and heels–just be sure to wear it well. You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on a new wardrobe, but make sure what you wear is clean, wrinkle-free and tucked in. You want to look sharp, because your first impression when you walk into a meeting is a lasting one. If you’re messy or too casual, people might assume you have the same attitude about your business. board man

4. Be self-aware: Eighty percent of someone’s perception of you are based on your nonverbal cues, including eye contact, facial expressions and mannerisms. Ask someone you trust to simulate a meeting or pitch with you and have them point out what they think is working–and what’s not.

5. Keep your social media presence professional: It’s vital to remember that your professional image exists on and offline. That’s not say you can share a funny joke or have fun on social media, but be aware that people are judging you by your online behavior. Two of every three posts should be about something personal, but don’t make controversial statements or divulge every intimate detail about your life. In this digital age, if you are what you say, you are also what you post.

Your baby is not ugly, it’s beautiful. Your business image is not ugly, it’s also beautiful and worthy of referrals. But nothing else will matter unless our personal brand and referability are in order. After all, we are our biggest advertisement.

Lifelong Learning: Lessons in Leadership

 

As many of you know, I was given the fantastic opportunity to spend a few days with John Maxwell at his Leadership Conference in Orlando Florida last week. (You can read my initial reaction to winning the Leadership award here.)

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John shared a story that I thought was a great networking lesson, and it’s something I want to share with all of you.

He began his story when he was a very young pastor in the 1970s. He wanted to learn and grow in his field and he decided that he would try to interview ten of the most successful pastors from across the country. Being a thoughtful man, John realized that their time was valuable and he wanted to pay for it-but at the time, he only made $4,200 a year in salary.

John reached out to the ten pastors he wanted to seek advice from and offered them $100 each for less than an hour of their time to help mentor him in his journey. $100 each doesn’t sound like a lot of money, but multiplied by ten people that equaled almost one quarter of his annual income! But John felt that it was important to show them that he didn’t want something for nothing and would truly value their mentorship.

He went on to explain that only two people took him up on his request. He met with the two pastors, asked his questions, and received great information and took copious notes. Before he left each of them, he asked if they knew any of the eight remaining people on his list. He needed a referral!

Both of them new many of the remaining pastors, so John asked if they would be kind enough to call some of the other eight and make a personal introduction. Both men happily did so. After a short time, John was able to meet with all ten pastors because of the introductions that these two pastors made.

John obtained fantastic insights which enabled him to achieve many of his goals as a young man, and he did it through referral networking.

There were many lessons to be learned in this story, but here’s some of the ones that I got out of it:

  1. Don’t expect something for nothing. Asking for favors from people you don’t know, just doesn’t work well.
  2. Be prepared. Have well-thought out questions.
  3. Take notes and follow the advice.
  4. Most importantly, he asked these individuals if they felt this was worth their time. It was only after they said yes, that he asked for an introduction to the rest of the people on the list.

This last one is an important example of the referral process. He showed up prepared, stuck to the time he promised, did a good job and THEN asked for a laser specific referral if, and only if, they felt that the meeting was worth their time. John was successful because he knew how to be a professional, make a good impression, and then, and only then, ask for the referral.

Great story John.

 

The TRUE Definition of Networking

What is the true definition of business networking? I’m going to give it to you straight.

Networking is the process of developing and activating your relationships to increase your business, enhance your knowledge and expand your sphere of influence. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

Notice that the key word here is relationships. Successful networking of any kind starts with the genuine desire to build relationships for the purpose of giving and receiving business. If you are only networking to gain and not to give, you’ll never be successful.

Remember-networking is more about FARMING than it is about HUNTING. It’s about cultivating relationships and taking the time and energy to help them grow and flourish. A good farmer knows when to tend to his crop and when to harvest it; if you over pick, you’ll be left with nothing. But if you continue to care for and maintain your crop, it’ll grown abundantly.

Watch the video below to hear more details about the true meaning of business networking.

This video is hosted by the Entrepreneur.com YouTube Channel, Networking for Success.

 

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