INSPIRE Archives - Dr. Ivan Misner®
“Can't do” or “Won’t do”

Helping others depends on either a “Can’t do” or “Won’t do” answer

Whatever the issues are that are holding someone back, focus on a constructive approach. If you ask them, “How can we help you?”, their answer will always be either a “can’t do” or “won’t do” answer. The person will either explain why they are having difficulty with the situation because they don’t know how to address it effectively, or they will give an answer that illustrates that they don’t really want to do this for some reason or another.

How to handle a “Can’t do” answer

Once there was a printer that was dead last on P.A.L.M.S. report in a local BNI group. We did not tell him that he was dead last. Instead, we asked him, “How can we help you?” His response was that his print shop was new and he admitted that he did not understand networking. This is a classic “Cant’ Do” response. It is our job to teach them because we were all a “can’t do” when we first started networking. We all make tons of mistakes. When someone says they can’t do something, they are open to being coached. It is our job to teach them.  If we were just negative and told the printer he was dead last, he would have quit. Instead, if we pour into them and help them, they become champions in BNI.

Where the clients come into the lobby area of the print shop, we recommended that he put up a sign where everyone could see it with slots for the BNI members’ business cards. He was instructed to get 20 copies of everyone business cards to fill sign with only the cards from BNI members. When someone took a card, they were told to say that Bob’s printing referred you. If someone not in BNI wanted to give him their cards for the sign, the printer was instructed to invite them to the next BNI meeting instead. True story! Nobody just took a card and left. They asked Bob his opinion on each of these. He gave a testimonial with everyone he had cards for. He went from last to number one in giving the most referrals. He went from being embarrassed to the top referral giver within 6 months. He was the winner of the year. He now loves BNI. We changed his business by coaching him.

How to handle a “Won’t do” answer

In this example, they give excuses: it’s too difficult… they are busy…I’m different. With a clear-cut “won’t do” answer, if you open the door for them they will leave on their own. I recommend saying, “I understand your frustration, it is ok to leave the group, feel free to come back if things change”. However, if you kick them out, they will become defiant and negative towards BNI. They blame the chapter and claim it is everyone fault. Therefore, if they don’t save face, they will fight you all the way. On the other hand, they don’t hate you if you give them the option to leave in a positive manner.

Here’s a suggestion. On rare, rare occasions – when someone is a “won’t do” but they don’t want to leave.  Tell them you appreciate their involvement and that you’ll throw them a “retirement party”. OK, not a real party – but recognize their past participation in the group and thank them for their involvement. This should be done rarely but it allows them to save face and leave. With this advice, you can cut down the percentage that will require a tough conversation by 90%. Then, only 10% of the time you need to have the tough talk about opening their classification and not renewing their membership. You want to be invested in their success, yet cut them loose when needed.

Being a member of the group is not enough.  If you are not contributing then why are you there? Being complacent is what I call a “MINO” (Member In Name Only). How can we help you to get more engaged? How can we help you to… bring more members? …bring more visitors? …bring more referrals? Whatever the issues are, just ask, “How can we help?” Their answer will tell you if you can help them.

Inspire

Change your WORDS, Inspire your WORLD…

In a previous blog, What is Your Verb?, I stated that my verb is inspire. Based on that blog, I wrote some material for the BNI Global Convention and for this blog that I thought I’d share here:

I want to inspire people. I want to inspire people – who inspire people. I want someone to look at you and say, because of you, I didn’t give up. Because of you, I’ve learned so much more. Because of you, I’m a better leader. Because of you, I’m a success today. I want you to inspire people.  I want you to inspire people to be… “their better selves.”  I want you to inspire people to help others. I want you to inspire people – who inspire other people.

Inspired people are not only motivating themselves, but they also spur others on to perform at their highest potential. These people encourage others to contribute, sharing their energy and excitement through their words and actions. They are motivated by personal and professional rewards that they can’t wait to share with others, and they desperately want to motivate others to succeed.

To set your network in motion toward helping your business, make it your goal to become an inspirational person. Think of your network as a row of standing dominoes. Therefore, each domino will remain standing until you act on the first domino. To motivate change, you must tap the first domino to watch the chain reaction of tumbling dominoes. Your network is standing in place waiting for you to inspire the people to inspire others. Become inspirational and start the chain reaction.

Inspiration starts with changing your words. There is tremendous power in words, in our speech. We use words every day to communicate, to express our feelings and thoughts, but we often forget how powerful they can be and how important it is to choose them with care. Words are how we communicate and it is through our communication that we motivate others. Throughout human history, great leaders have used the inspirational power of words to inspire us to start the chain reaction.

Change your WORDS, Change your WORLD…

 

Alex Mandossian Verb

What is Your Verb?

I just spent the five days at my semi-annual TLC (Transformational Leadership Council) event in Mexico.  I come away from each of these conferences with nuggets of great information.

At this conference, one of the presentations that gave me a lot of great nuggets was from my friend, Alex Mandossian.  His talk was called “Discover Your Verb.”  OK, I thought it sounded a bit weird but his content is always so great, so I didn’t care – I had to be there.  I’m glad I was.  It was in fact, amazing.

In his talk he said, the “biggest lesson I’ve learned over the years is the one thing that makes a great business person and leader is: movement!”

Albert Einstein once said that “nothing happens until something moves.” This is true in business and in leadership because without movement, change is not possible.

Alex told the story of a legendary ad man, Leo Burnett from Chicago.  He said that “Burnett once put his staff to the task of analyzing 62 ads that failed to move merchandise. Why did they fail?  Burnett said it was due to too many adjectives because adjectives (like “extremely”) don’t move people, instead they spark skepticism and doubt in our minds.  In fact, of the 12,758 words of those failed ads, 24.1% were adjectives! Translation: more adjectives means less movement.”

Alex said that in comparison, Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address contains only 13.1% adjective-to-total-word ratio and Churchill’s “Blood, Sweat and Tears” speech has 12.3%.

If adjectives are the problem, then what is the solution?  Alex said that it’s not nouns – it’s about verbs or action words.

Verbs increase persuasion power and move people according to Alex.  The greatest thought leaders in history lived their lives as verbs.

For example, Alex said: “Rene Descartes is “Father of Western philosophy.” His verb was: THINK! (“Cogito ergo sum”) “I THINK, therefore I am!”

  • Einstein believed if you stop learning you start dying. His verb was: LEARN!  “I LEARN, therefore I am!”
  • Maria Montessori believed in teaching philosophy that bears her name today. Her verb was: TEACH!  I TEACH therefore I am.
  • Walt Disney believed in dreaming. His verb won him 22 Academy Awards!  “I DREAM, therefore I am!”

Alex said, “it’s a one-word language that moves people and causes permanent and positive change!”

So – what’s your verb?  Alex asked us to pick our verb and put it on a sticky note.  I chose “collaborate” but my wife, Beth, told me that she didn’t think that was my verb!  I said, “what do you mean, my business is all about collaboration.”  She said yes that is how I operate but that is not the big picture of what I do.  I asked her what she thought I did and she said – “you inspire.”  She said that Alex told us that our verb had to be something BIG.  It had to be the big movement that we have with the people we work with.  Beth said that my role is to inspire people to collaborate.   I’d like to think she was right so – my verb is “INSPIRE.”

What is your verb?  Think BIG.  It’s the big movement that you make in your community and your world.  What is your verb and why?  Share it here.  I want to know.

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