Four Behavior Styles

Four Behavior Styles (the video)

There are Four Behavior Styles you will find in others when you are networking. Do you know your behavioral style? Please watch this video to learn about these different styles.

In the book Room Full of Referrals which I co-wrote with Dr. Tony Alessandra and Dawn Lyons, we offer insight into the following four different behavioral styles:

Go-Getters: (Driven, Bold, Decisive, Strong Desire to Lead)

Promoters:   (Energetic, Outgoing, Fun-Loving, Positive, Talkative)

Nurturers:   (Patient, Helpful, Understanding, Sentimental, Reserved)

Examiners:   (Effective, Efficient, Thorough, Research-Oriented)

If you pay careful attention to the behavioral characteristics of others, you will improve how you communicate with them effectively by adapting to their style.

Andy Lopata

The A-Z of Networking: P is for… (by Andy Lopata) [PART 1]

This month, Andy Lopata shares his networking tips which begin with the letter “P”

  • Partnership
  • Patient
  • Persistent
  • Personable
  • Planning
  • Polite
  • Powerful
  • Preparation
  • Professionalism
  • Promises
  • Purpose

and more about Networking in PART 2: coming soon

Click here to watch this video

Please click below to see Andy’s playlist of his networking tips from A to Z.

By knowing why you are networking and what you want to achieve, it is possible to plan accordingly and get great, measurable results. If you have any comments about Andy’s “N” list or any additional “N” words about “Networking” you will want to add to the list. please leave me a “Note” as a “Comment”  below.

Andy Lopata

As a business networking strategist, Andy Lopata works with companies on how to use networking tools to develop their businesses. Networking is not just about sales. Whether for lead generation, breaking down silos internally, recruitment and retention of top staff or developing future leaders, networks and collaboration have a key role to play. Andy works with clients to help recognize that role and put the strategy and skills in place to leverage it.

VCP process

The Three Phases of Networking: The VCP Process®

I have written about this concept in many of my books but I’ve never done the full description here on my blog.  So – for the first time, here’s a thorough description of the three phases of networking: The VCP Process.

The key concept in referral marketing is relationships.  The system of information, support, and referrals that you assemble will be based on your relationships with other individuals and businesses.  Referral marketing works because these relationships work both ways:  they benefit both parties.

A referral marketing plan involves relationships of many different kinds.  Among the most important are those with your referral sources, with prospects these referral sources bring you, and with customers you recruit from the prospects.  These relationships don’t just spring up full grown; they must be nurtured.  As they grow, fed by mutual trust and shared benefits, they evolve through three phases:  visibility, credibility, and profitability.  We call this evolution the VCP Process®.

Any successful relationship, whether a personal or a business relationship, is unique to every pair of individuals, and it evolves over time.  It starts out tentative, fragile, full of unfulfilled possibilities and expectations.  It grows stronger with experience and familiarity.  It matures into trust and commitment.  The VCP Process describes the process of creation, growth, and strengthening of business, professional, and personal relationships; it is useful for assessing the status of a relationship and where it fits in the process of getting referrals.  It can be used to nurture the growth of an effective and rewarding relationship with a prospective friend, client, co-worker, vendor, colleague, or family member.  When fully realized, such a relationship is mutually rewarding and thus self-perpetuating.


The first phase of growing a relationship is visibility:  you and another individual become aware of each other.  In business terms, a potential source of referrals or a potential customer becomes aware of the nature of your business – perhaps because of your public relations and advertising efforts, or perhaps through someone you both know.  This person may observe you in the act of conducting business or relating with the people around you.  The two of you begin to communicate and establish links – perhaps a question or two over the phone about product availability.  You may become personally acquainted and work on a first-name basis, but you know little about each other.  A combination of many such relationships forms a casual-contact network, a sort of de facto association based on one or more shared interests.

The visibility phase is important because it creates recognition and awareness.  The greater your visibility, the more widely known you will be, the more information you will obtain about others, the more opportunities you will be exposed to, and the greater will be your chances of being accepted by other individuals or groups as someone to whom they can or should refer business.  Visibility must be actively maintained and developed; without it, you cannot move on to the next level, credibility.


Credibility is the quality of being reliable, worthy of confidence.  Once you and your new acquaintance begin to form expectations of each other – and the expectations are fulfilled – your relationship can enter the credibility stage.  If each person is confident of gaining satisfaction from the relationship, then it will continue to strengthen.

Credibility grows when appointments are kept, promises are acted upon, facts are verified, services are rendered.  The old saying that results speak louder than words is true.  This is very important.  Failure to live up to expectations – to keep both explicit and implicit promises – can kill a budding relationship before it breaks through the ground and can create visibility of a kind you don’t want.

To determine how credible you are, people often turn to third parties.  They ask someone they know who has known you longer, perhaps done business with you.  Will she vouch for you?  Are you honest?  Are your products and services effective?  Are you someone who can be counted on in a crunch?


The mature relationship, whether business or personal, can be defined in terms of its “profitability.”  Is it mutually rewarding?  Do both partners gain satisfaction from it?  Does it maintain itself by providing benefits to both?  If it doesn’t profit both partners to keep it going, it probably will not endure.

The time it takes to pass through the phases of a developing relationship is highly variable.  It’s not always easy to determine when profitability has been achieved – a week?  a month?  one year?  In a time of urgent need, you and a client may proceed from visibility to credibility overnight.  The same is true of profitability; it may happen quickly, or it may take years – most likely, somewhere in between.  It depends on the frequency and quality of the contacts, and especially on the desire of both parties to move the relationship forward.

Shortsightedness can impede full development of the relationship.  Perhaps you’re a customer who has done business with a certain vendor off and on for several months, but to save pennies you keep hunting around for the lowest price, ignoring the value this vendor provides in terms of service, hours, goodwill, and reliability.  Are you really profiting from the relationship, or are you stunting its growth?  Perhaps if you gave this vendor all your business, you could work out terms that would benefit both of you.  Profitability is not found by bargain hunting.  It must be cultivated, and, like farming, it takes patience.

Visibility and credibility are important in the relationship-building stages of the referral marketing process.  But when you have established an effective referral-generation system, you will have entered the profitability stage of your relationships with many people – the people who send you referrals and the customers you recruit as a result.


six things

Do six things a thousand times

In this classic video, I talk about productivity and setting priorities. This Ivanism, “If you want to scale a business, do six things a thousand times; not a thousand things six times“, is one of my quotes that I’m asked to talk about a lot and I thought I’d post this video again.

Are You Spread Too Thin?

What I often find is that business people look for these bright, shiny object,” he says. “Oh look at this, this is a great idea, let’s try this, let’s try that… no. Do you want to be successful? You have to do things over and over and over again, consistently.

“We are what we do, repeatedly. Therefore excellence is not a single act — it’s a habit.”

What does this quote really mean?

  1. Focus on key priorities and making them perfect (or close to it) before moving on to other projects or tasks.
  2. Making your business the best at a few services, not simply OK at several.
  3. Success comes from being like a dog with a bone.


I am delighted to announce the publication of Geneen Roth’s This Messy Magnificent Life:  A Field Guide.

This new book is a radical tour of the body and the self. It is also Geneen’s most personal to date. It is an exhilarating, touching, sometimes counterintuitive read on how we unknowingly internalize the way we have been treated: our own secret misogyny. It’s a deep dive into what lies behind our self-criticism, whether it is about the size of our thighs, the expression of our thoughts or the shape of our ambitions.  It’s about stopping the search to “fix” ourselves—and realizing that on the other side of that never-ending project is the path to peace of mind and the space to reclaim one’s power, and joy.

After years of teaching workshops on weight, food, and money, Geneen Roth realized that there was a connection between these issues that held her students captive in their anxiety, lack, and discontent.   Seeing herself as much a student as a guide, Roth uses revelations from her own life—both the horrific and comic—to explore this connection, in language both precise and elating.  Funny and compassionate, her reflections are also hard-earned.  Out of her own past struggles with feeling as if she would never fit into her own skin, much less in the world around her, Geneen tackles how we can move beyond our pasts and build a life that reflects our singularity. The result is a brilliant, bravura meditation on who we take ourselves to be, what is enough in a culture based on more, and claiming your rightful place, with no excuses or apologies, in your own life. Matt and Ganeen are friends and fellow members of TLC.

In difficult times, This Messy Magnificent Life:  A Field Guide is the survival guide we need. It is certain to provide solace and wisdom to readers for many years we come.

So… I found a chapter from the book and I’ve attached it. It’s called The Breaths I Have Left, and it’s about making the most of our time while we’re here. 
For more information here is the link to the book:
Third Paradigm

The Third Paradigm Survey

What happens after competition and after collaboration, that’s the third paradigm.

Please participate in this survey about co-creation. I need your help.

Thank you to everyone who participated in a previous survey. I need your feedback again.

I am working on a new book about people working together to crowdsource products, services, or ideas in a team or in an organization. Furthermore, it is about creating something together through a joint effort.

There are only 10 questions and it will only take a few minutes to complete. Therefore, I’d really appreciate if you’d participate. I will need about 4000 total responses. In addition, Feel free to share the survey on your social media pages with as many people as you would like. All ages welcome. However, we particularly need responses from people under 30. Plus, please email this video link too.

We are using the results from the survey to help talk about the third paradigm in the new book.

Here is the link to the survey:

Ask a Favor

When to Ask a Favor (classic video)

When is the right time to ask a favor? Building a relationship takes time, and cashing in your relationship capital before it has earned enough interest can be devastating.

The following video is classic rebroadcast of my “Ivanism” Garage to Global series, hosted by, where I expand on catch phrases I have used frequently over the years. Originally published on March 30, 2016.

In this video, I discuss how to identify and prepare for the appropriate time to ask for a favor within the context of a business relationship. Social capital is a key factor when it comes to asking for favors from others.

Most of us have been in a situation where someone has asked for a favor before the social capital to make that kind of request. If you want to amass financial capital, you have to invest and grow your assets. Social capital works the same way. You have to invest before you can withdraw.

Throughout my career, I have had a huge number of folks come to me and ask me to promote something for them. The thing is the majority of those who contacted me had never even met me, had never had a conversation with me. If they did, they met me once and we had the briefest of conversations. They never invested in the relationship and yet they wanted a withdrawal from the relationship.

You may be shocked at the level of personal knowledge required for a deep referral relationship. You may want to argue that referrals should be all about business. I completely disagree. It takes a lot to develop this type of relationship. Those who do will certainly succeed at building a business from referrals.

When Is It Appropriate to Ask for a Favor?

So the answer to this question of when should you ask for a favor, before you ask for a withdrawal, make sure you make an investment and build a deep referral relationship.

Ignorance on Fire

Is Ignorance on Fire Ever a Good Thing? (classic video)

The following video is classic rebroadcast of my “Ivanism” Garage to Global series, hosted by, where I expand on catch phrases I have used frequently over the years. Originally published on May 31, 2016.

I know, it’s a strange concept: Ignorance on fire is better than knowledge on ice.” Most people read that statement and think, someone who’s excited but ignorant can do more harm than good. I’m here to tell you that the opposite of your intuition is true. That’s right–and you’ll see why below.

Ignorance on fire

One thing I have learned over the last 30 years is I can teach people how to do something.

  • I can teach them how to network.
  • I can’t teach them to have a good attitude.
  • I can’t teach them to have a fire in your belly.
  • I don’t have time to send them back to mom to get retrained.

The only thing better than ignorance on fire is knowledge on fire. So as you develop skills and you develop knowledge, don’t lose that fire. Hang on to that.

I would rather have a member in BNI who really doesn’t know how to network but they are committed versus a member who says, “Yeah, I know how to do this,” but they are not committed. Ignorance on fire is better than knowledge on ice. The only thing better than that is knowledge on fire.

Networking Scorecard

Are you having problems signing up for “The Networking Scorecard”?

We have released a patch to resolve the issue that users with certain phone number formats were facing when signing up for the Networking Scorecard App. Please update the app and try the sign up again. For those who have previously downloaded it and you were experiencing problems, you will need to update it then sign up again.

You may go to the App Store and update or click this link and update:

American Visionary

American Visionary: The Story of Barbara Marx Hubbard

Beth and I are very pleased to share this movie with you. We are the Executive Producers of this film and we feel that the story of Barbara Marx Hubbard’s life and mission deserves to be told. She has inspired many the world over, and her work is changing the world for the better. We invite you to learn more about her life’s work and message in the exciting new film American Visionary: The Story of Barbara Marx Hubbard.

Barbara Marx Hubbard has inspired many the world over. Known as the mother of Conscious Evolution, her work is changing the world for the better. 

Humanity is on the brink of radical advancement, believes Barbara Marx Hubbard, who is known as “the mother of conscious evolution”. At 82, she seizes an opportunity to reach millions with her hopeful message. Featuring authors Marianne Williamson, Jack Canfield, Neale Donald Walsch, and more than forty fellow visionaries, this inspiring documentary examines what a positive future might look like and how we could get there. Hubbard asks, “How can we drive through our global crises and blossom into a future that is equal to our human potential?”

Learn more about her life’s work and message in the exciting new film American Visionary: The Story of Barbara Marx Hubbard. 

Now available for rental and purchase here:



The Networking Scorecard™ App

Now, the power of networking smarter comes to your smartphone for free.

In this comprehensive app, your mobile device now becomes your networking tool. You will discover strategies that go beyond collecting business cards and turn networking into a profitable resource for your business. Dive into this FREE app based on the book. Discover how the most successful networkers leverage their brand, expertise, and customers to achieve greatness in life.

The networking scorecard app is a way of measuring the kinds of things that you should be doing. It is a way of tracking your networking success. In the networking scorecard app, you track the kind of things that you need to be doing in order to achieve success in networking. These things include sending a thank you card, calling someone in your networking and having a conversation, arranging a one-to-one meeting, attending a networking event, setting up some kind of activity to connect with people, giving a referral, and sending an article of interest. In conclusion, there are a whole lot of things that you can do to track your networking scorecard, and they are part of the mobile app.

So if you are doing things that are listed in the networking scorecard app, then you’re mining your network. Although it may take time, you’re doing the things necessary to generate the business. With the networking scorecard, you know you have to do a certain number of these things in order to get business. Furthermore, it’s a way to track and feel better about the activities that you’re conducting.

Features of this amazing app:


  • Track networking activities like thank-you notes, meetings, calls, events, and referrals
  • Earn points to track your networking skill level and performance
  • View weekly networking activities at-a-glance
  • Set up a customized networking calendar
  • Access resources, worksheets and templates from Dr. Misner, Brian Hilliard, BNI, and Asentiv designed to help you get the most out of your network.
  • And most importantly, measure if you are Networking Like a Pro!


In business, you achieve what you measure.  The Networking Scorecard™ App provides you with a mobile solution to measuring your networking efforts. If you’re ready to build connections that turn relationships into profitable customers, this mobile app is for you!

Are you having problems signing up for “The Networking Scorecard”?

 We have released a patch to resolve the issue that users with certain phone number formats were facing when signing up for the Networking Scorecard App. Please update the app and try the sign up again. For those who have previously downloaded it and you were experiencing problems, you will need to update it then sign up again.

You may go to the App Store and update or click this link and update:

Download the free app now

Paul Furlong

Planning Your Networking (by Paul Furlong)

Paul Furlong shares his networking tips in this video.

Most people are disappointed with their networking results at networking events because they did not have a clear strategy for how they were going to be networking. Paul Furlong, BNI Director Consultant, shares his networking strategy questions:

There are so many different networking events. It is important to decide which ones should attend. Use the following questions to help you to decide which events to attend.

  1. Why do you want to go to networking events?
  2. How are you going to network?
  3. What are you going to do to build the relationships with those you meet at the networking event?
  4. Do you know the type of businesses are you wanting to network with?
  5. What networking events do these businesses you want to meet attending?

Now that you have decided which event to attend, here are a few tips on how to network at the event.

  1. Ask the host for a list of who is attending to determine who to approach.
  2. Determine if they are in it for the long term relationship you desire or if they are only transactional when you meet them.
  3. Be prepared to network with your business cards, brochure, and appointment calendar.
  4. Talk as little as you can about your business and ask them what is currently happening in their work.
  5. Share a succinct story if asked about how you help others and share who are your ideal referrals.
  6. Schedule a second meeting to follow-up and learn more about each other.
  7. Send an email after the event to confirm the second meeting and thank them for meeting with you.

Rule the World

Great story-telling is essential to effectively communicate your ideas in order to inspire and influence your audience. In this show, Paul Furlong, Creative Director at Opus Media, deconstructs world-class story-tellers from all echelons of society. Digging deep, Paul attempts to find the recurring and unique principles they use to help you make your stories more engaging and better communicate your ideas to stimulate your audience to take action.

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